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THREE

JERRYN

I’ve ignored the text all day, but it’s been hanging over me, so it’s time to deal with it. After a long day at the festival, all I want to do is decompress with Bane and some video games, but before I can do that, I have to deal with Alec.

I unlock my phone screen and open the text, re-reading it for the umpteenth time before finally responding.

Me: Hey. I was out all day so apologies for the delay. It would be great to catch up. Let me know what works.

I hit send even as my stomach churns a little.

Alec showed all the signs of a potential relationship.

He was funny, smart, and seemed to like a lot of the same things I did.

I told him about my issue and he was nice about it.

Patient. Until he wasn’t. Until he decided that Bane was the reason I wasn’t the way normal guys are.

The jealousy and fights became too much, and the whole thing fizzled before it even really got started.

We didn’t talk much after that; only briefly when our paths crossed around town or at comic conventions. That’s why his text out of the blue is so confusing. Why would he want to see me after all this time?

My phone buzzes and my shoulders immediately tense. I swipe the screen, reading over the words.

Alec: Awesome. I’ll be there for three days downtown at the Abella Hotel. Meet for a drink there?

Me: Sure. What time and day?

Alec: How about Monday night when I get in before the conference starts? Six?

I nod, even though he can’t see me. I can do this. I can face him. It’s not like I was in love and he broke my heart. He disappointed me, but that’s no different from all the other guys I’ve dated. I just hoped a little harder with him.

Me: Sounds good. See you then.

I put my phone down and lean back in the chair. Bane was dating Greg when I met Alec, and I was so excited. I thought maybe we could double-date, and Greg and Alec could be friends and I’d have what I always wanted, but that’s not what happened.

I know I should get back out there and try dating again. Not for me, but for Bane. I’m holding him back even if he won’t admit it. He spends all his time with me, and while I love it, he’s missing out on a potential partner.

I rub the tight spot in my chest that always pops up when I think about Bane being in a long-term relationship with someone.

It’s selfish to keep him to myself, but I can’t imagine my life any other way.

I gave up thinking I would find someone to love a long time ago.

Even though he’s just my best friend, Bane set the bar—and my expectations—too high.

After a brief knock, my door opens and Bane pops his head in. “Okay to enter?”

“Yep.”

He smiles as he walks over to where I sit on the couch. “Did you do it?”

I nod, nibbling my bottom lip for a second. “Done. We’re gonna meet Monday night for a drink.”

“Good. Better to know what he wants, right?”

“Right. I’m sure it’s nothing though. Just being polite.”

“We’ll see.”

Bane fidgets, picking at the cuticle on his thumbnail. It’s his tell for when he has something to say but isn’t sure he wants to say it.

“Just say what’s on your mind, Bane.”

He blows out a breath, fixing his gaze on my face. “Alec said some pretty insensitive shit to you when you ended it. You haven’t forgotten that, have you?”

Forgotten it? As if I could. Alec’s words are sprayed like graffiti on my psyche, along with the dozens of other unkind labels and adjectives I’ve gathered up since puberty.

“Of course not. If I’m being honest, I’m more curious than interested in seeing him.”

Bane nods, and as his jaw slowly relaxes, I reach over and rub his back.

“Thanks for caring so much.”

He scoffs. “That’s dumb to say.”

“It’s not. I don’t take you for granted.”

“I know.” His expression softens as he smiles. “I don’t want to have to beat someone’s ass for hurting you, that’s all.”

I laugh softly. “It won’t come to that. I’ll have a drink with the guy, endure awkward conversation for a little bit, then we’ll both return to our separate lives.”

“Yeah.”

I chew on my bottom lip for a second, a burning question on the tip of my tongue. “What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Dating. You haven’t dated at all since we’ve been back in Willow Bay. Even before that.”

He waves dismissively, but I grab his hand and gently squeeze it.

“I’m serious. You’re putting your life on hold for me? I don’t like that. Just because I don’t want to be out there, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be.”

A deep crease appears between his eyebrows. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you? We’ve watched all our friends find love in this town. You deserve that too, but unless you get lucky like Indy did, they probably won’t walk into the bar.”

Bane chuckles softly. “He hit a home run, didn’t he?”

“Indy always lands on his feet, but don’t change the subject.”

Bane rolls his eyes as he leans back. “I’m just not into it right now, that’s all. A lot’s been going on since we moved back, and I’ve had different priorities.”

“Like? Playing the latest video games with me?”

“Hell yeah.” He playfully shoves my arm. “Seriously though, Jerr. I needed this time to settle into this new life, and spending time with you and the guys was part of that. I don’t miss romance right now, and when I do, I’ll do something about it.”

“That’s fair. Sometimes I think I’m holding you back.”

“Not even a little bit.” He smiles again, and this time it’s genuine. “I’ve kissed plenty of frogs. They’ll still be there when I’m ready.”

I laugh softly. “There’s a prince out there somewhere.”

He nods, holding my gaze. “I know.”

Sometimes I wonder silly things, like what could’ve been if I were normal.

Would Bane see me as an option then? If I could create the perfect boyfriend for me, it would be him.

We just fit. But Bane needs and deserves a complete relationship, one that includes the physical part of things, and I’m not sure I could live up to that.

So we stay best friends and I push him to find a love of his own so I can stop worrying so much. It’s worked for twenty years, and that’s good enough for me.

“Want to watch a movie instead?” Bane asks. “That new Jason Statham one just went to streaming.”

I perk up. Movie watching means a cuddle sesh. “Absolutely.”

Bane chuckles, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and extending one arm in invitation. I tuck my long body onto the couch and snuggle in close, rubbing my cheek on his soft shirt. Bane drags his fingers down my back in circles, soothing me as he navigates to the movie.

These are my favorite times. For years, Bane has been the source of the physical comfort I crave without the stress of things turning sexual eventually.

“Thanks, Bane,” I whisper, tilting my head to kiss his cheek.

He nods, gazing at me and smiling. “You bet.”