Page 24

TWENTY-ONE

JERRYN

I’m not nervous. Not at all. I’m always nervous when relationships turn sexual, but not this time. Not with Bane.

I pull my t-shirt over my head and toss it onto the armchair beside the bed. Bane looks at me like I painted the sky, slowly pulling his shirt off too.

“How about a quick shower?” I suggest. “That will help us relax.”

He nods, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips. “Good idea.” He clears his throat. “Be right back.”

“I’ll be here.”

Bane hurries off to the bathroom while I take off my jeans and socks.

I’ve been thinking about this moment for hours, especially after what happened in the office.

Bane is in love with me. I almost can’t believe it, but when I look back at all the ways he’s been trying to show me, it makes so much sense.

I just couldn’t see it, too busy convincing myself that there was no possible way.

All this time, I thought he indulged my need to cuddle because he was a good friend, nothing else.

I chuckle softly. Twenty years we’ve wasted. I shake my head at that thought. No. We wasted nothing. We were together the whole time. We’ve lived an amazing life, and all of it, every experience, led us here. If I hadn’t done the recent soul searching, we might still be dancing around it all.

Bane appears in the doorway to the bathroom wearing just his briefs.

It’s obvious he’s excited about what’s going to happen, and I am too.

Hopefully my body will decide to join the party, but if it doesn’t, it’s gonna be okay.

Like he keeps trying to tell me, there are lots of things we can do together.

Bane crooks his finger at me, inviting me to join him. I hop up and walk over to him as more memories flood my mind.

“Do you remember that weird-ass shower we took together right after we moved to Seattle?”

Bane chuckles. “How could I forget? Not gonna lie, I spent most of it thinking of very unsexy things so I wouldn’t pop a chub in front of you.”

I shake my head. “I was so oblivious.”

“I was bummed when the landlord fixed the water heater. A lukewarm shower with you was better than a hot one by myself.”

Smiling, I let my eyes roam down the length of his body. “Are you still worried about popping a chub in front of me?”

Bane shakes his head as his eyes heat. “No, and you can pretty much count on it.”

“I hope I do too.”

“There’s zero pressure here, Jerr.”

“I know.”

Looking him right in the eye, I bend slightly to remove my underwear. He holds my gaze, not looking at any other part of me as he takes his off too. The bathroom fills with steam while we stand quietly before each other, then he offers his hand, and I take it, stepping into the shower with him.

He walks under the shower spray and the jets massage my tired back muscles, relaxing me even more. I drape my arms over his shoulders, mentally convincing myself that this is all actually happening.

“Let me take care of you, Jerr,” Bane whispers. “Let me do all the things I’ve wanted to do for so long.”

“Okay, but I have one request.”

“Whatever you want, sweet thing.”

“I want to suck you.”

He visibly shivers. “You can do whatever you want to me.” Bane slides his hands down my back to rest on my waist. “First, I’m gonna wash you.”

“Can I wash you too?”

“Yep.”

He grabs the bodywash and pours some into his hands, rubbing them together to make suds. My breath catches when he presses his hands to my chest.

“I can’t count all the times I’ve thought about us,” Bane confesses. “All the times I’ve wanted to slip into the shower with you, or the bath in Seattle. Do you remember how I’d sit on the toilet and talk to you while you soaked?”

I nod. “Of course.”

“I wanted to get in there and wash your hair or rub your back. I just wanted to touch you and be close.” He chuckles. “I sound like a stalker.”

“No. I wish I’d noticed it. Maybe I did, but I convinced myself it was just wishful thinking. I kept hoping you’d find someone amazing and fall in love so I could…” I shake my head. “Sounds ridiculous now.”

“So you could what, Jerr?”

I’m quiet for a few seconds while I collect my thoughts. “There’s always been a part of me that wanted more with you, but I shoved it so far down I almost forgot. If you met someone and fell in love and got married, moved into your own place, I’d have to let it go once and for all.”

His fingers swirl over my nipples, leaving a nice sensation in their wake.

“And now you know why I never did. I was waiting to be the man you deserved.”

“You always have been. In a way, I guess we’ve been together all along, haven’t we?”

He nods. “We sure have.”

“No one I’ve ever dated has treated me as well as you do. For not being a boyfriend, you sure have been a boyfriend.”

“I was auditioning for the role.”

I laugh softly. “I’m really happy, Bane.”

“So am I, gorgeous.”

He moves his hands behind me and washes my back, slowly sliding them down to my ass. I nod, holding his gaze, hoping he knows he can touch me anywhere. I want him to. I want to feel things.

“This okay, Jerr?”

“Yes.” When I let myself look at his body, his dick is standing at attention between us. “Can I touch you?”

“Anywhere but my dick. I don’t want to blow too soon.”

“You really are turned on by me?”

He scoffs a laugh. “Uh, yeah.”

Instead of touching him with my hands, I close the gap between us, pressing my chest to his. His breath hitches and his eyes heat as he dips his soapy fingers into the crease of my ass. I nod, biting my bottom lip as I hold his gaze.

“Fuck, Jerr,” he whispers, touching my hole gently.

“That feels nice.”

“For me too.”

I reach up to drag my fingers through his wet hair to get it off his face. “I’m not comparing, but at the same time…” I shrug. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Go on. This is all new and you need to process it. That’s okay with me.”

I blow out a breath. Of course he understands. He’s Bane.

“I’ve never felt so relaxed and excited with another person in this situation. I mean, I’ve never been in a shower with any of them, but just the touching and stuff, knowing what was coming… I would get all jumbled up and nervous, but that’s not at all how I feel right now.”

“Good.”

I slide my hands down over his shoulders. “You know there’s only been three guys who have…” It’s embarrassing to say aloud, even to Bane.

“Yeah, babe, I know. That’s not something we have to do. Not at all.”

“I want to. I want to know how it feels with you. With love.”

His eyes soften and he pulls me a little closer. “I don’t have to top. I’m more than willing to bottom for you.”

A giggle bubbles out of me. “I’m glad you are, but I’m not at all comfortable with that idea. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to manage that.”

“We don’t have to do anything right away. We have the rest of our lives, remember?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“So if you get curious, and you want to try, say the word, babe.”

“Okay.”

I let my hands wander down his back and tentatively slide my fingers into his crease. He moans softly, holding my gaze. I don’t plan to do anything but wash him, but I do have to admit to myself that this feels very nice, and I want to do more. I want to explore.

Bane’s Adam’s apple bobs as he puts a slight distance between us, his hand moving down my chest to my dick. “Can I?”

“Please.”

When he touches me, my stomach flutters and a shiver moves down my spine. I blow out a breath, reminding myself there’s no pressure or judgment here. This is my best friend, and he loves me. I can do this. I want to.

“We should get out,” I say. “I’m ready.”

Bane smiles, reaching over to turn the water off while I focus on the fact that my body feels different. It’s like a thousand lights are shimmering inside of me, waking up parts I didn’t know were there. Bane steps out, handing me a towel before he dries himself off.

His cock is obviously hard now, and I realize with only mild shock that I really want to put that in my mouth. I’m not sure I’ve ever thought about it before. It was just something I did to appease the guy I was dating, but that’s not my motivation right now. I actually want to.

Bane leads me to the bedroom, dropping his towel at the foot of the bed. I drop mine too, crawling onto his bed and lying on my back. I’ve been in his bed countless times, but never like this.

“Do me a favor?” I say.

“Anything.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m made of glass. I’m an adult and I know what I’m doing. If I need to stop or slow things down, trust me to tell you. Can you do that?”

Bane nods. “Absolutely.”

“Good.” I smile. “Now get up here.”

Bane crawls onto the bed, settling between my legs to kiss me.

I wrap my arms and legs around his lean body, reveling in the feeling of his weight on me and his tongue in my mouth.

I’m glad I figured out the missing puzzle piece of my attraction ability.

It was probably never gonna happen without the love and safety I feel with Bane. I never got that far with anyone else.

I’m aware of his erection pushing against my thigh, and I feel the slightest of tingles deep in my belly, tiny tendrils of heat snaking between my legs. It’s happening. Mentally, I push away my thoughts. The less I focus on it, the better it is.

“Bane,” I whisper against his lips. “Want you.”

“How?”

“On your back.”

He nods, kissing a trail down my neck before lifting off me to roll over onto his back.

His cock juts out from his hips, standing straight and proud, and my stomach flutters again.

I lick my lips, shifting to a new position beside him.

I’m woefully out of practice with this. I haven’t given anyone head in years, but right now, all I want is to feel him in my mouth.

I don’t hold back, diving in and sliding my mouth down his shaft. Bane moans, lifting his head to watch me awkwardly find a rhythm. It’s unlikely to be his best blow job ever, but hopefully he doesn’t mind.