Page 21

EIGHTEEN

BANE

How many times have I fantasized about holding and kissing Jerryn over the years?

Now it’s actually happening, and it’s even better than any fantasy I could conjure up.

I always thought he’d be shy and tentative, but he’s not at all as he tangles his fingers in my hair and returns my kiss like he needs it to breathe.

With him sitting on my lap, the temptation to really explore is strong, but even with his permission, I don’t want to take us there tonight.

I want him to wake up feeling as safe and secure as he did before all this started.

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. Touching Jerryn is everything and kissing him is even more. His soft moans and whispers of my name are wearing down my resolve to keep this PG.

“Bane,” he whispers as he nibbles my bottom lip.

“What, babe?”

“I want…” His words trail off and I feel him shiver in my arms.

“Anything you want, Jerr. Just ask.”

“You said just kissing.” He leans back enough to meet my eyes. “You sure about that?”

“Are you… feeling something?”

He nods. “Good. I feel good. Amazing, actually. I want to make you feel good too.”

“You do.” I kiss his jaw then nuzzle my nose against the column of his neck. “I feel incredible.”

With his hands on my shoulders, he looks into my eyes. “Are you sure?”

Insecurity radiates from him, and it’s my job to reassure him. “I’m very sure.”

“But…” He lightly grinds his ass into my obvious erection, which feels too damn good, but I have a lot of self-control. “You have that.”

“Because you turn me on and I’m so fucking happy to have you in my arms and taste your delicious kiss.”

His cheeks bloom pink and he giggles, shaking his head. “Delicious, huh?”

“Yep.” I gently pinch his chin. “I promise I’m happy and feeling good and don’t want anything more to happen tonight.”

I know him so well I can actually see the pressure he was putting on himself melt off his features. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Can we go to bed and cuddle?”

“Sure can, Jerr.”

“Can we, um…” His eyes go wide, like he’s surprised by whatever thought is in his head right now.

“Can we what, babe?”

Jerr hesitates, searching my eyes, then nodding like he just convinced himself to say what’s on his mind as he scrambles off my lap. “Can we do it naked?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Do what naked?”

“Cuddle?”

“Hell yeah.”

A slight smile tugs at his lips. “Awesome.”

“Can I ask why you want to?”

“I thought it would feel nice.”

“It will.” I stand and offer him my hand. He takes it and I use the connection to pull him close until our chests are touching. “I always want you in my bed, Jerr. Just so you know.”

His smile grows. “Good thing that’s where I like being.”

Hand in hand, we walk to my bedroom. Jerryn tugs his shirt over his head, then with a more confident smile than usual on his lips, he unbuttons his jeans.

I’ve seen Jerr naked over the years, many times, but I never allowed myself to look for too long.

I’ve even made myself look away from his biteable ass and what he’s got between his legs.

Not that I wanted to look away. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Now, I’m pretty sure I have permission to look, but I want to check in.

As he tugs the denim down, I keep my eyes firmly on his face, following his movements until he’s upright again.

“Can I look at you, Jerr?”

He nods. “I want you to.”

Even with pink cheeks and patches of red on his neck and upper chest, he pulls the waistband of his briefs down, revealing his body in all its glory. My breath catches and my cock immediately begins to swell.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“I am?”

“You gotta know that.”

He shrugs, but there’s a smile on his face as he sits on the edge of my bed. “Your turn.”

I kick off my jeans in mere seconds, desperate to get close to him again. He laughs softly, but the smile fades and his eyes go wide once he realizes I’m definitely turned on.

“You sure you want me to take these off?” I ask with my thumbs on the band of my underwear.

“I’m sure.”

I tug them down, keeping my eyes on his as my cock springs free. He’s staring at it, his bottom lip trapped in his teeth, but then his eyes flit up, and his expression relaxes slightly.

“You’re hot, Bane.”

“Thanks.” I walk to the other side of the bed and pull the blankets back. “Ready for bed?”

He nods, slowly turning around to climb under the sheets. As soon as he’s settled, I scoot closer, draping my arm over him but keeping enough distance that my dick isn’t rubbing all over him.

I close my eyes, focusing on making my erection die down, but Jerryn has other ideas as he scoots back, rubbing his ass all over me.

“Jerr…”

“Is this bad?”

“What do you mean? Nothing we do is bad .”

“Bad for you? Am I making it harder to not touch?”

I laugh, kissing the back of his neck. “You’re obviously making it hard.”

He laughs with me, twisting around to face me. His laughter fades as he searches my eyes. I lean in just a little to kiss him, the way I’ve wanted to a thousand and one times, the way I’m allowed to now.

He sighs into the kiss, dragging his hand down my chest, surprising me when he drapes his leg over my hip. I slide my hand down his back, tentatively letting it rest on the curve of his ass.

And then I swear I feel it. His cock brushing against mine. Could it be?

“Bane…”

“What, babe?”

He doesn’t say anything, but a few seconds later, he huffs, breaking the kiss and rolling onto his back. Jerryn stares up at the ceiling, clutching the blankets to his chest.

“What happened, Jerr?”

He’s quiet, and I know him well enough to know he’ll talk when he’s ready, so I lay my head on his shoulder and give him space.

Enough time passes that I start to feel drowsy, but I force my eyes to stay open. Finally, he exhales slowly.

“I think I get it now,” he says.

“What?”

“I’m thinking too much. I was starting to feel it, you know? That tingle of arousal, and then my brain took off in a thousand directions thinking about what to do about it and if it would last and if I should try and?—”

“Hey.” I cup his cheek. “Take a breath.”

Jerryn nods, pausing to breathe. “Thanks.”

“I got you.”

“I know,” he says softly. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” I reach for his hand and kiss the back of it. “This is why I said we’re not doing anything tonight but kissing and cuddling. I don’t want you in your head about what’s next because we’ll figure that out in time. Together. Tonight, all I want is to be close to you.”

His eyes soften. “You’re right. I got ahead of myself because…” His face goes blank. “I guess because I want to make you happy. You’re taking a chance on me, and I want to be worth it.”

“Nah, Jerr. It’s not like that. I’m not taking a chance on you. I already know you’re worth it. It’s me who wants to step up and be the man you need. You’ve always been the man for me.”

He nods, but the insecurity lingers in his eyes. “I promise you don’t have to try so hard.”

“I’m going to anyway. You deserve it. Let’s try to get some sleep so we can kiss some more in the morning.”

“Okay.”

He rolls over again so his back is to my chest, and thankfully, that conversation got my dick to settle down, so I rest my chin on his shoulder.

He relaxes in my arms, and soon his breathing settles into a slow rhythm. I kiss his cheek and close my eyes. He doesn’t see it yet, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Over time, he’ll stop overthinking the sex stuff and we’ll find what works for us. For now, this is more than enough for me.