Page 46 of All You Need is Alien Love (Tentacular Tales #4)

And that’s when it clicks.

“Mama Bellazoid?” I gasp.

She throws her head back and laughs. “That’s General Mama Bellazoid to you, or Mirella Feyre if you prefer.”

“Holy flashback, Batman! When I sent out a call for help on the intergalactic web, I never imagined that you would show up to lend your assistance.”

Her eyes twinkle with merriment. “A Bellazoid never forgets their duty, especially when they owe someone as much as I owe you for saving my daughter in her time of need.”

I wave a hand dismissively, recalling my very first field experience as a new recruit in the Alliance. “It was my pleasure. Toralena and her friends were so sweet and kind. There was no way I wouldn’t help them, job or no job!”

General Mama Bellazoid shakes her head wonderingly. “You’re as kindhearted as my daughter told me. The fact that you helped her and made her feel safe and unashamed after what happened meant the world to her—and to me.”

“She and her friends were drugged. They were definitely not responsible for their actions, and I made that clear to them.”

She nods. “I know, and you did it all without expecting anything in return. You possess a rare quality of genuine decency in this universe. The Bellazoids are a powerful and wealthy species, and many have tried to manipulate and use us for their own benefit.”

I gasp in outrage. “What assholes!”

She chuckles again. “You’re truly a breath of fresh air, River Sullivan.

As soon as I heard you were in trouble, I got my team together and we hightailed it for Earth.

” She winks. “I’m happy to report that we have neutralized the threat from the ships in orbit and have taken the instigators into custody. ”

I grin back at her. “Fuck yeah. I’m so lucky to have so many awesome kickass women in my life.”

She eyes me up and down. “And you’re even more fortunate you sealed the deal with that Iyaran partner of yours. Otherwise, I might have been inclined to pursue you in order to make you my fifth husband.”

My eyes nearly bug out of my head. “Your fifth husband?”

She waves a hand airily. “I only have four at the moment, but I really could use another one. They have a difficult time keeping up with me on their own.”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Uh, I’m honored, but super gay. Thanks all the same.”

Her lips twitch with obvious mirth. “I can see your mate glaring at me from here.”

I whip my head around to spy a stormy-faced Kai hovering behind me protectively.

With a sigh of contentment, I lean into him. “He’s pretty epic, isn’t he? We’re totally meant to be. Intergalactic destiny for reals.”

General Mama Bellazoid turns away for a moment to talk to someone off-screen before returning her attention back to me.

“Looks like our Intergalactic Alliance transport ship for the insurgents has arrived ahead of schedule. I’ll have to sign off so I can assist with the transfer of custody.

I’m glad I could repay my debt to you, River Sullivan. ”

“I’ll never forget it,” I tell her, “and I hope you and the whole family can come for a visit sometime in Vegas. I’ll definitely make it a trip to remember in the very best ways.”

“It’s a promise. Until then.” She gives me the Vulcan salute. “Live long and prosper.”

I gasp and return the salute, starry-eyed. Just when I thought General Mama Bellazoid couldn’t get any cooler, she did.

The screen goes dark, and I hand it back to my mom.

“She’s majorly cool, isn’t she?”

My mom sighs dreamily. “So damn cool.”

“I love a strong woman in uniform,” Ellie agrees.

Maddox pulls her into his side. “So do I.”

Ellie glows. “I know. Why do you think I agreed to become a captain with the Alliance?”

Kai groans. “There they go again. Aren’t we the honeymoon lovebirds here?”

Grandma Iris chortles. “You’ll get used to it one day. And if not, too bad. You’ll just have to suck it up because we’re family.”

I laugh, my heart full to bursting. This is my family now too and I freaking love them all so much.

My dad moves closer and wraps his arms around my mom from behind, nuzzling her ear. “Don’t tell me you’re getting a wandering eye now.”

Mom snorts. “Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a very striking woman like that.”

I blink at her. “Uh… I know this might be kind of weird to ask at this stage, but does that mean you’re bi?”

Mom laughs. “You get your queerness from me and the Quintharian side of your genetics, hon. I thought you knew.” She tilts her head to one side.

“Though it would probably be more accurate in human terms to say that I’m pansexual.

Quintharians are often attracted to members of all genders, and it is not uncommon for many of us to enter into polycule relationships with a variety of different genders in the mix.

” She kisses my dad on the chin. “Chris is the only lover I’ve had who managed to sell me on being exclusive, mainly because I didn’t want to share his sexy self with anyone else. ”

Dad rolls his eyes affectionately.

My mouth drops open. “There’s so much I still don’t know about my heritage.”

“You have much to learn,” Grandma Iris agrees. “But now your mom can teach you.”

I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised by what my mom told me.

I’ve learned a lot of alien species tend to fall more along the pansexual spectrum, in human terms. Although personally, I can’t imagine trying to navigate relationship dynamics with multiple partners in a polycule.

Talk about stressful. I’m better equipped to deal with the needs of one man.

I just so happen to be the lucky sonofabitch who found his perfect partner.

Kai truly embodies all that I’ll ever need in a husband!

Mom smiles softly. “Iris is right. We have all the time in the world now for me to tell you more about your Quintharian side.”

I perk up. “That’s true.” I grin at Kai. “But it may have to wait, because my boo and I are going to be going on a honeymoon ASAP before anyone or anything can interfere. When is Tentacular Tales Con again?”

Kai favors me with an indulgent look. “Shortly after Christmas here.”

I rub my hands together with glee.

Universe, here we come!

But before we can continue to get too derailed, Grandma Iris clears her throat to get everyone’s attention, a no-nonsense look on her face.

“Let’s save the rest of this reunion chitchat for later. Right now, I believe my grandson needs to be checked out by the professionals.”

I can’t believe we got so derailed. In all fairness, a lot has happened in a short amount of time and my brain hasn’t fully caught up to it all I don’t think. Also, Kai seems like his usual self so I let down my guard a bit too much.

“Sorry, babe. Your health needs to be our top priority right now. I didn’t mean to get so distracted.”

Kai kisses my cheek. “Relax. I’m not worried. I feel completely fine. No different from usual. I think Adeline’s concoction was a dud. I’m sure I will get a clean bill of health, so don’t stress.”

Ellie paces the small space. “It’s possible whatever Adeline created just hasn’t taken effect yet.”

Maddox crosses his arms. “That’s what I was thinking as well.”

My heart jumps with worry but I put on a brave face when I see Kai’s brow furrow with his own concern.

Looking a bit more uncertain now, Kai takes a seat on the exam table as Driego, the med tech with pointy ears and two small, adorable horns on his head, gets situated with the bio scanner machine. He gives us all a curious look before consulting with Kai.

“Is… everyone staying in the room while we do this?”

Kai surveys our family members from both sides and sighs. “For now, yeah. It’s best to get this over with and have them here, otherwise they’re all going to demand answers afterward. Better to just tell everyone all at once.”

I move to his side away from the scanner and squeeze his hand, trying to invest every ounce of support into it that I can. “Good call, babe. But if you need me to kick them out, just tell me.” I flex my bicep. “I can strong-arm them out.”

He chuckles. “Thank you, darling. I want to hurry so we can go back to the others.”

I know how worried he is about Wilder and I don’t blame him. But right now, he needs to focus on himself. And if he won’t, then by golly, I sure as hell will!

Driego starts scanning Kai while asking questions about the substance Adeline administered to him.

Doing my best not to give in to my simmering rage, I explain what happened and when I get to the part with Adeline injecting him against his will—and her even more insidious reproduction plan—it looks like each and every single one of them is ready to go kick some Darth Layne-der and Adeline ass.

Although my money’s on my mom and Ellie.

I’d be more than happy to join them too. Now that the danger has passed, my outrage is rising to dizzying new heights.

How very fucking dare they?

Driego pauses what he’s doing to some data on the bio scanner’s screen. “I do detect a chemical cocktail of sorts in your system that appears to be a synthetic hormone trigger.” He frowns. “Have you experienced any symptoms of Tentaculum Calefaction since it was administered?”

Kai shakes his head. “None. And believe me, I know what to be on the lookout for by now. I feel perfectly fine.”

Driego frowns. “There doesn’t appear to be anything toxic or poisonous in the substances I’m seeing here but, in theory, the combination of them should be stimulating your hormones and triggering an episode, even if it were only a mild or incomplete one.”

“Like Ellie suggested, maybe it hasn’t kicked in yet? Can we administer a hormone inhibitor to stop things in their tracks?” I offer, relieved to know that at least the substance isn’t dangerous to my boo.

Driego considers this. “Perhaps, but it appears to have attached to the hormone receptors, so something should have happened by now.”

Grandma Iris’s gaze is laser-focused on Driego. “You’re saying this substance that traitor Adeline used on him actually works?”

Driego hesitates. “I can’t say for sure, since I’ve never encountered a situation quite like this before.

But from what I’m detecting on a molecular level, the substance should work.

It’s quite ingenious, actually, the way it—” He cuts himself off when he’s inundated with angry glares from all around him.

Iris strokes her chin thoughtfully. “Scan his lower abdomen and focus on the tentacles.”

Kai jolts, and I stare at her. “Why do we need to do that?”

Ellie stares at her son with an odd look on her face. “No fucking way,” she whispers.

Maddox holds her tightly in his arms, a worried frown on his face.

Iris is the one to respond again. “There is one thing that can decisively halt a current or future episode of Tentaculum Calefaction.”

Kai pales and looks like she just sucker punched him.

“Oh my,” my mom says, her eyes wide.

“Oh my, what? Da fuck is happening right now?” I’m hella confused and seriously starting to freak out.

“If Kai’s already begun Tentaculum Gestarium, then the injection would have no effect,” Iris explains.

“What the what now?” I demand, my eyes darting between her and Kai.

Mouth agape, Kai appears completely flabbergasted. “That’s not very likely, is it? We’re not even the same species. We were told it was virtually impossible,” he says.

By the end, he’s breathing so fast he’s almost hyperventilating.

Mom pipes up, an almost giddy look on her face. “As the supersexy Jeff Goldblum playing Dr. Ian Malcom in Jurassic Park would say, ‘Life, uh, finds a way.’”

My heart starts hammering so hard I’d think I was running for my life while being chased by flesh-eating zombies in the midst of an apocalypse.

Grandma Iris shrugs. “It’s been so long since a male member of our species experienced it that I couldn’t say for sure, but it’s still possible.”

I slowly turn to look at Kai, realization dawning.

He gulps, panic written all over his face.

Naturally, that’s when Driego lets out an excited gasp. “Look!” he says, pointing at the bio scanner screen.

Everyone crowds around, and there, on the screen, is the elusive fifth tentacle inside Kai that I’ve only ever encountered when I’ve stuck my hand inside to stroke his prostate.

And there’s a strange lump-like thing on the tentacle.

“Is that a… tumor?” I ask, my stomach dropping.

My mom snorts and does a fast Arnie impression. “It’s not a tumor!”

I can’t tear my gaze away from the screen. Now I can see that there isn’t just one, but three strange, oval-shaped lumps of some kind clustered at the base of Kai’s tentacle.

“What… is that?” I ask slowly, my mouth not quite ready to catch up to the growing realization in my brain.

Grandma Iris grins widely. “Congratulations to you both! You’re going to be parents.”

My heart skips a beat and I forget to breathe for a long moment.

Then I shriek, “What?!”

Somehow, I manage to reach a falsetto range that only Prince— RIP —could compete with.

Kai continues to stare at the screen with a pale face and shell-shocked expression.

Driego grins at us all. “You must be extra special, Captain Genaro, because you’re gestating three embryos.”

“Three w-what?” I whisper, feeling oddly faint.

Is this what zero gravity must be like?

One part of my mind is basically acting like it’s been infected with Nirblob’s GLITCH program.

I swear, I can practically hear that AI voice from before: Error. Nervous system failure. Critical overload in process. Warning. T-minus sixty seconds to mental obliteration.

Kai’s grip around my hand becomes almost painful, and one of his tentacles comes flying out to wrap around my arm anxiously.

I pet it in a daze.

My mom and Ellie jump into each other’s arms and start squealing and laughing with joy.

Grandma Iris lifts her arms to the sky in a victory pose. “You two won the intergalactic jackpot! You’re having triplets! It’s a medical miracle!”

Holy fucking balls, Batman.

I’m gonna be a baby daddy… to triplets?

My eyes roll into the back of my head, and Kai’s tentacles catch me right as I pass out.