Page 25 of Adonis Gates
“Mama…” My voice cracked.
“Jruelle, what’s wrong?” Her voice was laced with concern which had to have alarmed my dad because I heard him ask what was wrong in the background. “I don’t know,” she answered him. “It’s Jru and she’s crying.”
“I-I-I don’t even know where to start, mama.” I cried. “He did it again,” I said barely above a whisper. “At the reunion. I saw it with my own eyes. I feel so stupid, mama.” I shook my head as my tears flowed freely. “I kept staying, kept forgiving… I’m so stupid.”
“I’ll be back, Jake,” my mother said. There was a moment of silene before her voice began to flow through the phone again. “You are not stupid for having a forgiving heart, Jruelle. You’re human.”
“I forgave him so many times.” I hung my head in shame although it was only me in the room. “I just—I don’t know. I can’t meet all of his needs because… you know. My health.. with my endometriosis, I can’t always fulfill his needs. I know it’s held me back from giving him the things he wanted. Maybe if I wasn’t broken?—”
“Stop it, Jruelle,” she said in a firm, but still gentle voice. “You are not broken, Jru. You’re my daughter; a strong, beautiful woman who has fought battles that most people can’t even imagine. And the right man—the right man—isn’t going to look at your pain as a problem or use it as a reason to be unfaithful. He’s going to love you through it.”
“But what if no one ever does?” I whimpered. “What if this is all I get?”
“Baby, God didn’t make you to settle for crumbs,” she replied. “You are more than enough just as you are. Don’t you ever think otherwise. Sure, you have things you’re working through, but that’s what makes you the unique woman that you are. Things didn’t work with you and Derrick because he’s not the man that the Lord equipped with the things he’ll need to care for someone as special as you. The right man—your man—won’t see your struggles as a burden. He’s going to come built with everything he needs to love you through your highs and lows. He’ll know how to handle your heart, your body, your pain, all of it—and he won’tevermake you feel like you’re lacking a thing.”
“What if I don’t find him?” I asked, using the back of my hand to wipe my tears. “I’ve wasted so much time on Derrick…”
“You didn’t waste anything baby,” she said softly. “You learned. You grew. And you found the strength to finally walk away. That took courage. And because you had the courage to let go of what wasn’t for you, you’re making room for the man who is. Believe me, when he comes, you won’t have to chase him. You won’t have to beg him, and you’ll never question whetheror not you’re enough because he’ll show you every day that you are.” She paused briefly, maybe to let her words sink in, then she continued, “you’re a good woman, Jru. Any man can see that. Don’t you let one man’s weakness convince you otherwise. Your story isn’t over, baby—it’s just beginning.”
“Thank you, mama.” I simpered.
Although I was still hurt, she always knew what to say to make me feel better.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Where are you?”
“At Geri’s.” I sighed. “I have to go out and talk to her too, but I needed you first.”
“And you know I’ll be herewheneveryou need me,” she said. “No matter the time or day.”
I smiled, appreciating her even more than I already did.
“I’m going to come over there tomorrow probably. Do you think daddy will go with me to get my stuff?”
“You don’t even have to ask, sweet pea. I’m loading my shot gun now. Just let me know when you’re ready,” my dad said and I grinned. I knew he was going to eventually join my mother wherever she’d gone in the house.
“I need a few days to clear my head, but for sure next week sometime.”
“I’m only a phone call away.”
“I know.” I sniffled. “But I’m going to go talk to Geri. I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”
After hanging up with them, I went to the bathroom to wash my face again, then to find my sister who was likely somewhere in the house booting up to go initiate round two on Derrick.
Chapter Nine
Adonis.
Baby Bro: You talked to Jru yet?
I smirked reading his text. He’d been concerned about her since the reunion last week. Shit had me hot that the nigga Brock not only had Jru feeling a way, but my brother too. He was just making the laundry list of reasons for me to murk him even longer.
Me: Naw not yet.
Me: Fuck you doin’ on the phone in class?