Page 86

Story: Mutual Obsession

“Good girl, you can come,” I tell her, and the relief that floods her face is instantaneous.

She cries out as her body trembles, her orgasm rushing through her as Jake continues to lap up her wetness. When histongue becomes too much, and she’s too sensitive, she reaches down and grabs hold of his hair, pulling his head back just enough to let him know she can’t take any more.

Jake’s face is glistening with their combined juices, and I waste no time pulling him over to me. I press my lips to his and slide my tongue into his mouth, groaning against him as I taste them both.

When we break a part, all three of us have matching sated smiles, and we’re breathing hard. I sit down on the sofa next to Indie, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her into my side, so her cheek is resting against my chest. I pull Jake down into the seat on the other side of me, and he curls into my side too.

We sit in comfortable silence for a bit, each of us just savouring the moment as we catch our breath, basking in the euphoric feeling of finally all being together.

I can’t even begin to describe how comfortable and happy I feel with the two people I care about tucked up beside me. I’m not sure I deserve it, but I want to hold on to this for as long as I can.

Although I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, I can’t stop the nagging intrusive thoughts from making their way into my head, and I find myself wondering when Jake will realise that we went too far?

Is this the moment his fear hits, and he runs from me, just like he did all those years ago?

I try to rationalise that this time is different, but we jumped into this without really discussing how he feels. It’s a big expectation for him to tell the world he’s in a relationship with another man, particularly given the role his parents play, and their stance on homosexuality.

I want to believe him when he says he’s over all the fear, and that he will take on the world with me when the time comes, butthat’s just words. I need to see it to believe it, and the only thing I remember is him walking away and breaking me.

So as much as I’d like to sit here in silence, just taking in the warm glow we’ve all created, I have to know what’s going on in his pretty little head, because if he’s about to run, I need to guard my heart as best I can—and Indie’s.

“Jacob, how do you feel after everything that just happened? I know it was a lot, so I don’t blame you if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed,” I tell him.

He shuffles beside me, moving so he can look at me when he speaks. “Honestly, I loved every fucking moment of being with both of you.”

I can’t stop the shit-eating grin from spreading across my face. “Really?” I ask, sounding a little shocked.

He nods, giving me a genuine smile. “Really.”

Jake pauses for a moment, his head tilting as his lips slowly turn into a thin line, looking as though he’s suddenly contemplating something. He appears to be warring over whether to speak what’s on his mind or not.

“You can say anything, Jake. Don’t hold back,” I tell him.

He reaches over and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together, the way Indie is doing on my other side. She’s giving him a reassuring smile, letting him know he’s safe to say anything to us.

Jake winces, looking uncomfortable, but after a short silence, he lets out a huff and voices what has been on his mind. “I’m just wondering how you are so comfortable with what we did? I was really nervous, but you seemed to know exactly what you were doing. I was thinking about asking you, but then I thought it might be one of those questions where I don’t want to know the answer. I’m a fucking jealous guy, Miles.”

I let out a dark chuckle as I lean over and press a sweet kiss to his lips. “We all have a past, Jake. I have had to watch yourpast mistakes parade through here like a conveyor-belt. So, I’ll answer your question if that’s what you want, but you can’t be jealous over the past.”

“I fucking can be,” Jake grumbles, making me smile.

“Do you want me to answer?” I ask firmly, before giving him time to think.

Honestly, I’m not sure I want to answer. We all go through dark times, and that is usually when we make the most mistakes. I’d had my heart broken, not once but twice, and I wanted to numb the pain in any way I could.

I may not completely regret my actions, but that doesn’t mean I feel comfortable telling Jake and Indie everything. Although I told Jake he couldn’t be jealous about the past, I was whenever he brought a new girl home. And if Indie were to tell me about the men she’s been with since she left, I’d probably want to hunt down and kill everyone who ever touched her.

Since I know that’s not a healthy approach, I’m giving Jake the choice. If they can trust me in the ways they’ve already shown they do, then I can tell them about my past.

“I want to know,” Jake says, though his voice wavers a little.

I let out a sigh, before steeling my nerves with a deep breath. “When Indie left, I was heartbroken and confused. I knew I didn’t want to fall in love again, but I was still unsure about my sexuality. Although you, Jake, are the only guy I’ve ever had feelings for, I knew I was attracted to both men and women.

“As my depression spiralled, I started to wonder if Indie left because there was a part of me that subconsciously never gave her enough, because she wasn’t a man,” I say, voicing fears I’ve tried to ignore for the better part of seven years.

Indie’s words rush out quickly. “That’s bullshit. It’s not?—”

I cut her off, not needing her to tell me what I already know. “Even though I know that now, at the time, I wasn’t thinkingclearly. I couldn’t understand why you left me, so I found any and every excuse, and my sexuality was an easy one to blame.”