Page 37
Story: Mutual Obsession
No matter how much I might want to, I can’t stop the tears from falling, as I look at the guy who is ruining us both. My chest hurts, like someone has stuck a knife in it, and I can’t quite catch my breath.
I know I have to turn and leave, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I pull in as much air as I can, before giving Jake one final look. “I always knew loving you would hurt me. I just never expected it to be this painful,” I cry, holding my hand against my heart, as though that might help soothe it.
“You love me?” His words are barely above a whisper, but they ring loudly in my head.
I don’t bother giving him an answer, as we both know it doesn’t matter. He’s made his choice, and we’re going to have to live with it.
With my hand on my heart, and tears streaming down my face, I turn my back on Jacob and open the door. I walk out, trying to hold my head up high, when all I want to do is curl up into a ball and die.
Just before the door closes behind me, I hear Jacob’s pain-filled sobs echo around the classroom, and my heart breaks all over again. I had everything I’ve ever wanted, and now it’s been ripped from me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole again.
After spending the day with Indie, my mind is reeling. What started as an off-hand comment is quickly growing into something more in the crazy workings of my brain. It consumed my thoughts on the drive home, and given Indie’s silence, I can’t help but wonder if she was thinking about it too.
Could both me and Indie be in a relationship with Miles? Could the three of us really share each other?
I like Indie a lot, and the more time I spend with her, those feelings grow. Although it’s clear she’s holding a lot back, I can tell she’s giving me as much as she can, helping us to get to know each other.
But whenever we’re together, it really feels like there’s something missing. I’ve not been able to put my finger on—until now. When we were at the zoo, and we started talking about Miles, that niggling feeling disappeared. It was almost like he was supposed to be with us.
It’s been ten years since that fucking awful night at prom, and I’m still just as confused by my feelings for Miles, if not moreso. I’ve tried ignoring them, drinking and doing drugsto numb them, fucking random women to replace them, but nothing works…the feelings are always there.
Miles is always in my thoughts, particularly since he agreed to be my sober companion, and we’ve been spending time together like we used to do when we were friends.
Unfortunately, all the reasons why I pushed Miles away ten years ago are still very much present, with more added on. Now, he’s the Head Bodyguard for my rival, which is a massive conflict of interest, and very much against the rules of the peace treaty.
Employees of both the Santoros and the Morellis are forbidden from mixing. We need to be sure that when shit hits the fan, they’ll protect the family they’re hired by, not the rival member they’re fucking. Those rules are in place for a reason, and as our leader, I can hardly break the rule I make all my employees abide by.
Besides, my family is still massively homophobic, and their expectation that I marry soon and produce an heir has not changed. If anything, they’re becoming more vocal about it the older I get.
All of these issues ring loudly in my head and confuse me greatly.Does it even matter how I feel when these obstacles are still very much there?
Right now, my main task is to get Miles to stop acting like a dick and have him talk to Indie. She’s back for a reason, because she needs help, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get her to trust me quickly enough to tell me what the issue is. Whereas, for some inexplicable reason, despite him behaving like a bellend, she still trusts him.
As I watch Indie leave Caged’s car park, my sole intention is to track Miles down to talk to him. He doesn’t have to forgive her, he just has to talk to her. So, imagine my surprise when I walk towards the entrance to the club and see Miles in the shadows, leaning against the wall farthest away from the door.
He’s got an unreadable expression on his face, but his gaze is fixed on me. “Did you have a nice date? It didn’t look like much of a goodnight kiss, so it can’t have been that good,” he says sarcastically.
I count in my head, focusing on my breathing in a way that would make my counsellors proud. He’s really testing my fucking patience, but he knows that.
“Cut the bullshit,” I snap, glaring at him as I approach. “Talk to me like an adult.”
I don’t stop until I’m right in front of him, much closer than is needed, and I see him tense when he realises he’s trapped between me and the wall.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk,” Miles retorts, sounding more petty than usual.
I give him my best smirk. “As someone undergoing therapy, we both know it’s good to talk.”
Miles rolls his eyes as he places his hands on my chest and pushes, trying to force me out of his personal space. But I’m stronger than I look, and he didn’t put anywhere near enough effort in, so I don’t even take a step back.
Miles looks annoyed, his nose scrunching in a way that I definitely should not find cute. Like any caged animal, he begins to lash out. “Fine then, let’s talk. How long did it take before she let you fuck her? Did you have to put a bit more effort in than you do with your usual whores?”
I know he’s just trying to wind me up, but fuck if I don’t want to punch him all over again for implying Indie is a whore. Hasn’t he noticed how touch-averse she is, or how she struggles to let people get close to her?
I begin counting again, focusing on keeping calm, as I know that will annoy Miles even more. He’s looking for a fight, but he won’t find it here.
“You’re a fucking idiot. I don’t know what Indie was like when you knew her, but the girl I’m getting to know is definitely not a whore. She’s shy, she tries to keep to the background so nobody notices her, and she fucking flinches if people get too close.
“She doesn’t like to be touched, and it took me far longer than normal before she trusted me enough to even give her a hug or hold her hand. I’m sure you’ve noticed that much,” I tell him, shaking my head in frustration at his ridiculous behaviour.
I know I have to turn and leave, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I pull in as much air as I can, before giving Jake one final look. “I always knew loving you would hurt me. I just never expected it to be this painful,” I cry, holding my hand against my heart, as though that might help soothe it.
“You love me?” His words are barely above a whisper, but they ring loudly in my head.
I don’t bother giving him an answer, as we both know it doesn’t matter. He’s made his choice, and we’re going to have to live with it.
With my hand on my heart, and tears streaming down my face, I turn my back on Jacob and open the door. I walk out, trying to hold my head up high, when all I want to do is curl up into a ball and die.
Just before the door closes behind me, I hear Jacob’s pain-filled sobs echo around the classroom, and my heart breaks all over again. I had everything I’ve ever wanted, and now it’s been ripped from me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole again.
After spending the day with Indie, my mind is reeling. What started as an off-hand comment is quickly growing into something more in the crazy workings of my brain. It consumed my thoughts on the drive home, and given Indie’s silence, I can’t help but wonder if she was thinking about it too.
Could both me and Indie be in a relationship with Miles? Could the three of us really share each other?
I like Indie a lot, and the more time I spend with her, those feelings grow. Although it’s clear she’s holding a lot back, I can tell she’s giving me as much as she can, helping us to get to know each other.
But whenever we’re together, it really feels like there’s something missing. I’ve not been able to put my finger on—until now. When we were at the zoo, and we started talking about Miles, that niggling feeling disappeared. It was almost like he was supposed to be with us.
It’s been ten years since that fucking awful night at prom, and I’m still just as confused by my feelings for Miles, if not moreso. I’ve tried ignoring them, drinking and doing drugsto numb them, fucking random women to replace them, but nothing works…the feelings are always there.
Miles is always in my thoughts, particularly since he agreed to be my sober companion, and we’ve been spending time together like we used to do when we were friends.
Unfortunately, all the reasons why I pushed Miles away ten years ago are still very much present, with more added on. Now, he’s the Head Bodyguard for my rival, which is a massive conflict of interest, and very much against the rules of the peace treaty.
Employees of both the Santoros and the Morellis are forbidden from mixing. We need to be sure that when shit hits the fan, they’ll protect the family they’re hired by, not the rival member they’re fucking. Those rules are in place for a reason, and as our leader, I can hardly break the rule I make all my employees abide by.
Besides, my family is still massively homophobic, and their expectation that I marry soon and produce an heir has not changed. If anything, they’re becoming more vocal about it the older I get.
All of these issues ring loudly in my head and confuse me greatly.Does it even matter how I feel when these obstacles are still very much there?
Right now, my main task is to get Miles to stop acting like a dick and have him talk to Indie. She’s back for a reason, because she needs help, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get her to trust me quickly enough to tell me what the issue is. Whereas, for some inexplicable reason, despite him behaving like a bellend, she still trusts him.
As I watch Indie leave Caged’s car park, my sole intention is to track Miles down to talk to him. He doesn’t have to forgive her, he just has to talk to her. So, imagine my surprise when I walk towards the entrance to the club and see Miles in the shadows, leaning against the wall farthest away from the door.
He’s got an unreadable expression on his face, but his gaze is fixed on me. “Did you have a nice date? It didn’t look like much of a goodnight kiss, so it can’t have been that good,” he says sarcastically.
I count in my head, focusing on my breathing in a way that would make my counsellors proud. He’s really testing my fucking patience, but he knows that.
“Cut the bullshit,” I snap, glaring at him as I approach. “Talk to me like an adult.”
I don’t stop until I’m right in front of him, much closer than is needed, and I see him tense when he realises he’s trapped between me and the wall.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk,” Miles retorts, sounding more petty than usual.
I give him my best smirk. “As someone undergoing therapy, we both know it’s good to talk.”
Miles rolls his eyes as he places his hands on my chest and pushes, trying to force me out of his personal space. But I’m stronger than I look, and he didn’t put anywhere near enough effort in, so I don’t even take a step back.
Miles looks annoyed, his nose scrunching in a way that I definitely should not find cute. Like any caged animal, he begins to lash out. “Fine then, let’s talk. How long did it take before she let you fuck her? Did you have to put a bit more effort in than you do with your usual whores?”
I know he’s just trying to wind me up, but fuck if I don’t want to punch him all over again for implying Indie is a whore. Hasn’t he noticed how touch-averse she is, or how she struggles to let people get close to her?
I begin counting again, focusing on keeping calm, as I know that will annoy Miles even more. He’s looking for a fight, but he won’t find it here.
“You’re a fucking idiot. I don’t know what Indie was like when you knew her, but the girl I’m getting to know is definitely not a whore. She’s shy, she tries to keep to the background so nobody notices her, and she fucking flinches if people get too close.
“She doesn’t like to be touched, and it took me far longer than normal before she trusted me enough to even give her a hug or hold her hand. I’m sure you’ve noticed that much,” I tell him, shaking my head in frustration at his ridiculous behaviour.
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