Page 42
Story: Mutual Obsession
Miles sits in silence, no doubt contemplating everything I just said, but Jake has questions. “Did you not know who Marcus and Miles were back then?”
I shake my head, as Miles does the same, although he remains quiet. “No, I never met Marcus, as he was on holiday with you. I thought Miles was a student who’d just finished university, and was having one final summer before getting a job. We didn’t really discuss anything more.”
To an outsider, it probably sounds strange to hear about all the things we never discussed, and the secrets we kept, whilst still maintaining we were falling for each other. But unless you were there, feeling what we were, you’ll never understand.
“I think it’s clear there was a lot we didn’t discuss,” Miles snaps, sounding irritated. Whilst it didn’t bother him at the time, it sounds like it really does now.
I nod, unable to keep the sadness from seeping into my expression. Jake snaps me out of it when he points out, “But you still fell in love.”
Hearing the word, my stomach flutters, and I remember all the times Miles showed me how much he loved me. We may never have said the words to each other, but our actions said what our lips didn’t. “I didn’t know I could love someone, or that it’d feel as amazing as it did.”
When I look over at Miles, to see if he’s remembering it the same way I am, I find his bright-blue eyes shining as he smiles at me. For the first time in seven years, I’m looking at the boy I fell in love with.
“Is this story the reason you left without a word?” Miles asks.
I nod slowly, wondering how to phrase this without it coming out wrong. His grin has me opening up the way I should have all along. “Yes, and if you can’t help me, it’s the reason I’ll have to keep on running. I can never stay in one place for long, so I’ll need to leave again in about a month, two at the most.”
“You can’t leave,” Jake blurts out, his gaze frantically flicking between me and Miles.
Miles places his hand over Jake’s spare one, as his other is still laced with mine. His touch grounds Jake the way Jake’s did for me, and I can’t help but smile. “Why don’t you tell us your story, from the beginning, and we can go from there?” Miles says.
Nausea ripples my stomach and acid floods my throat as I put my trust in the two men sitting beside me.
Although I’m fucking terrified, and I may doom them both to the same dangerous life that stalks me, I hold on to the little shining ray of hope that the boy I never stopped loving, and the man who is winning over my broken heart, may finally save me from the nightmares I’m running from.
“Idon’t really know where to start,” I tell Jake and Miles, as they both stare at me, waiting for answers.
Understatement of the fucking century,I think to myself.
Jake squeezes my hand reassuringly. “Just start at the beginning,” he says softly, passing some of his strength over to me via our linked hands.
I give him a tight smile before turning to meet Miles’ gaze, as he’s the one who needs to hear this the most. I pull in a deep breath and allow the wall I’ve built around me, to keep me safe, crumble as I let the two men in.
“I never told you much about my past, and I loved that you never asked me, so I didn’t have to lie to your face. I think I mentioned it briefly, but I don’t have any family.”
Miles nods. “I remember.”
“My dad left when Mum was pregnant—she was only sixteen. Her family gave her an ultimatum… Stay and have an abortion, or leave and have the baby.”
Jake’s low growl interrupts my flow. “Bastards,” he mutters under his breath, and I smile at how protective he is.
“She actually went for the abortion, but when she got to the clinic, she was too far along and doctors weren’t allowed to go ahead with it. Her parents told her she could stay, as long as she gave the baby up for adoption the minute it was born. Mum agreed, as she didn’t really have any other choice.
“Then I was born, and she held me for the first time. When she had to hand me over, she refused. Her parents kicked her out, and she never spoke to them again. I don’t even think they met me, not once.”
Jake scoffs loudly. “I don’t think bastard is a harsh enough word for those fuckers,” he states, and Miles agrees.
“I’ve heard that she really tried to take care of me, but at just sixteen, with no money or support system, she struggled. She tried to do what she could to earn money, but given how young I was, she couldn’t leave me.
“I don’t exactly know what happened, but Children’s Social Services removed me from her care when I was two-years-old. Initially, I was placed with a foster family while they worked with Mum to get me back. But without me to motivate her, she fell into a bad place.
“When I was three, she killed herself. Since there was no father on my birth certificate, they went to her parents to see if they wanted to adopt me. They maintained they didn’t have a granddaughter and wanted nothing to do with me.”
Jake slams his free fist on the table. “Now they’re on my shit list,” he growls, looking furious.
Miles grabs his fist, trying to calm him down, before turning to me. His beautiful blue eyes look at me reassuringly as he says, “Carry on. You’re doing great.”
“I was adopted by amazing parents. I was their only child, and they doted on me, showing me so much love. Sadly, when I was thirteen, Mum got really sick—ovarian cancer. She battledhard, but it progressed quickly and she died just a few months after her diagnosis.
I shake my head, as Miles does the same, although he remains quiet. “No, I never met Marcus, as he was on holiday with you. I thought Miles was a student who’d just finished university, and was having one final summer before getting a job. We didn’t really discuss anything more.”
To an outsider, it probably sounds strange to hear about all the things we never discussed, and the secrets we kept, whilst still maintaining we were falling for each other. But unless you were there, feeling what we were, you’ll never understand.
“I think it’s clear there was a lot we didn’t discuss,” Miles snaps, sounding irritated. Whilst it didn’t bother him at the time, it sounds like it really does now.
I nod, unable to keep the sadness from seeping into my expression. Jake snaps me out of it when he points out, “But you still fell in love.”
Hearing the word, my stomach flutters, and I remember all the times Miles showed me how much he loved me. We may never have said the words to each other, but our actions said what our lips didn’t. “I didn’t know I could love someone, or that it’d feel as amazing as it did.”
When I look over at Miles, to see if he’s remembering it the same way I am, I find his bright-blue eyes shining as he smiles at me. For the first time in seven years, I’m looking at the boy I fell in love with.
“Is this story the reason you left without a word?” Miles asks.
I nod slowly, wondering how to phrase this without it coming out wrong. His grin has me opening up the way I should have all along. “Yes, and if you can’t help me, it’s the reason I’ll have to keep on running. I can never stay in one place for long, so I’ll need to leave again in about a month, two at the most.”
“You can’t leave,” Jake blurts out, his gaze frantically flicking between me and Miles.
Miles places his hand over Jake’s spare one, as his other is still laced with mine. His touch grounds Jake the way Jake’s did for me, and I can’t help but smile. “Why don’t you tell us your story, from the beginning, and we can go from there?” Miles says.
Nausea ripples my stomach and acid floods my throat as I put my trust in the two men sitting beside me.
Although I’m fucking terrified, and I may doom them both to the same dangerous life that stalks me, I hold on to the little shining ray of hope that the boy I never stopped loving, and the man who is winning over my broken heart, may finally save me from the nightmares I’m running from.
“Idon’t really know where to start,” I tell Jake and Miles, as they both stare at me, waiting for answers.
Understatement of the fucking century,I think to myself.
Jake squeezes my hand reassuringly. “Just start at the beginning,” he says softly, passing some of his strength over to me via our linked hands.
I give him a tight smile before turning to meet Miles’ gaze, as he’s the one who needs to hear this the most. I pull in a deep breath and allow the wall I’ve built around me, to keep me safe, crumble as I let the two men in.
“I never told you much about my past, and I loved that you never asked me, so I didn’t have to lie to your face. I think I mentioned it briefly, but I don’t have any family.”
Miles nods. “I remember.”
“My dad left when Mum was pregnant—she was only sixteen. Her family gave her an ultimatum… Stay and have an abortion, or leave and have the baby.”
Jake’s low growl interrupts my flow. “Bastards,” he mutters under his breath, and I smile at how protective he is.
“She actually went for the abortion, but when she got to the clinic, she was too far along and doctors weren’t allowed to go ahead with it. Her parents told her she could stay, as long as she gave the baby up for adoption the minute it was born. Mum agreed, as she didn’t really have any other choice.
“Then I was born, and she held me for the first time. When she had to hand me over, she refused. Her parents kicked her out, and she never spoke to them again. I don’t even think they met me, not once.”
Jake scoffs loudly. “I don’t think bastard is a harsh enough word for those fuckers,” he states, and Miles agrees.
“I’ve heard that she really tried to take care of me, but at just sixteen, with no money or support system, she struggled. She tried to do what she could to earn money, but given how young I was, she couldn’t leave me.
“I don’t exactly know what happened, but Children’s Social Services removed me from her care when I was two-years-old. Initially, I was placed with a foster family while they worked with Mum to get me back. But without me to motivate her, she fell into a bad place.
“When I was three, she killed herself. Since there was no father on my birth certificate, they went to her parents to see if they wanted to adopt me. They maintained they didn’t have a granddaughter and wanted nothing to do with me.”
Jake slams his free fist on the table. “Now they’re on my shit list,” he growls, looking furious.
Miles grabs his fist, trying to calm him down, before turning to me. His beautiful blue eyes look at me reassuringly as he says, “Carry on. You’re doing great.”
“I was adopted by amazing parents. I was their only child, and they doted on me, showing me so much love. Sadly, when I was thirteen, Mum got really sick—ovarian cancer. She battledhard, but it progressed quickly and she died just a few months after her diagnosis.
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