Page 56

Story: Mutual Obsession

I pause for a moment, wondering if I should say what’s on my mind. Jake must be able to tell I’m holding back as he raises his eyebrows in question, motioning with his hand for me to speak.

“I know he needs time before he can deal with me, and we’ll need to talk before we can even think about moving forward, but what about things with you and Miles? After what you told me the other day, isn’t it you who has to work on things before anything can happen?” I ask, hoping my question doesn’t offend him.

Jake lets out a long sigh, his bright face turning sad in an instant. “If it was as simple as just following what I want, everything would be fine, but life isn’t that easy. I have all of these conflicting thoughts and feelings running around my head, and most of them are the homophobic rantings of my parents, but it doesn’t make them any less real.

“There’s also the pressure they’re putting on me to marry and produce an heir, which gets more intense every year older I get. I simply can’t ignore those responsibilities.

“I also don’t know if I’m ready to start throwing around labels like gay or bisexual. Not when I’m not confident they even apply to me.” With each new statement, Jake’s voice gets more high-pitched and frantic, as panic overwhelms him.

I hold my hands up, like I’m directing him to slow down and stop. “Woah, breathe, Jake. Just calm down, okay?” I tell him, motioning for him to copy my breathing.

He focuses on pulling in a ragged breath, before letting it back out with a sigh. After a few deep breaths, he starts to calm down, and his once tense body relaxes. I give him a reassuring smile as I address the issues he raised.

“You’re massively overthinking this, Jake. You don’t need to use any sort of label. You can like women but still find Miles attractive. You don’t have to label it, you just have to know how you feel,” I tell him.

He lets out another sigh as he smirks at me, looking almost mischievous. “I’ve known how I feel about Miles for years, but I’ve never been attracted to any other guys, which is why it’s so confusing. If I tell people how I feel about him, the first thing they’ll ask is if I’m gay, bi, or experimenting, and I won’t know what the hell to say.”

“Why do you have to say anything? You can just state that you like girls and Miles, and leave it at that,” I suggest, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.

I know in reality, life isn’t that simple, and I wish I could make the world a better place for Jake, so conversations like this wouldn’t even be an issue.

“That won’t be good enough for some people,” Jake says with a huff, chewing on his bottom lip.

I shrug my shoulders. “They aren’t people you need in your life. But until you can face those questions, or answer them for yourself, I’m guessing Miles won’t want anything to do with you.”

Jake nods, looking a little sheepish as his cheeks flush. “He pretty much said the same thing when we kissed the other day.”

My eyes widen in shock. “You kissed?” I screech, sounding far too high-pitched. “When?”

Jake’s gaze drops to look at his hands again, no longer able to maintain eye contact with me, as the flush on his cheeks spreads down his neck. I’ve never seen him look this shy. It’s fucking adorable.

“After our date at the zoo,” he responds, barely above a whisper.

A chuckle slips out, as my smile grows, and Jake’s gaze snaps up to meet mine, looking more confused than ever. “So you ended our date by kissing someone else. That sure makes a girl feel special.” I make sure he can hear the humour and sarcasm in my voice.

Jake laughs at the joke, before shuffling nervously again, looking up at me with uncertainty. “Does it bother you that I kissed him?”

I pause for a moment, thinking about my response. I know what my initial reaction was, but I explore if there’s anything deeper I’m ignoring. I reply as honestly as I can.

“I thought maybe it would, that I might be jealous, but I’m not. It’s actually a little hot.” I don’t need to tell him about all the times I’ve fantasised about watching him and Miles kiss. Or the way my body heats at the thought of it.

Jake sees the way I shuffle on the sofa, trying to alleviate the ache in my core, as those thoughts turn my veins to lava, heating me up. His eyes darken as he leans closer, and I hold my breath in anticipation.

“I would have loved to end the date kissing you, but I didn’t know if you were ready for that,” he confesses, his voice deep and raspy, making him sound so fucking sexy.

I feel like I’m overheating as he watches my every movement, no doubt noticing the way my eyes darken with lust when he shuffles even closer, pressing his side against mine. My breath catches in my throat, and I don’t even want to think about how wet I am right now.

“I was ready. Maybe we should go with the phrase ‘better late than never’,” I tell him, my heart beating out of my chest as his smile tilts into a smug grin.

Jake keeps his beautiful chocolate eyes fixed on me as he moves slowly, giving me the chance to stop this at any point.When I don’t—as I’m not a fucking idiot—he closes the gap and kisses me gently.

As soon as his lips touch mine, heat blooms all over, coiling inside me as it screams for more. Unfortunately, Jake is trying to be courteous and respectful, and pulls away far too soon, not wanting to rush me, but I have other ideas.

He barely realises what’s happening before I jump on him, slamming my lips against his. I crawl onto his lap, straddling him with a knee on either side of his thighs, as I deepen the kiss. I slide my fingers into his dirty-blond hair, rocking my body against his as he devours me with his tongue.

His hands grip my hips, pulling me down onto him, whilst making sure I’m not going anywhere, as his lips claim me in the most fucking delicious way.

When I finally pull back, panting as I desperately try to drag in some much needed air, I keep my gaze firmly fixed on his. As I run my fingers through his hair, I let him see how much his kiss affected me.