Page 23

I give myself a moment to think about what I’m going to say, and Miles allows it, keeping quiet while I have some time alone with my thoughts. I decide to go with a version of the truth, minus some of the important details.

“Honestly, I have a past that I don’t really want to talk about, too. I have no family, but I can tell you I’m happy about that. Just because I don’t like to talk about my past, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. If you don’t want to, I’d never force you, but if you do, I’m always here to listen.”

Miles gives me one of his best bright smiles, and his beautiful blue eyes seem to sparkle under the sun’s dying rays. Instead of being annoyed that I’m keeping things from him, Miles looksgenuinely pleased that I was honest enough to say I have things I can’t talk about.

He presses his shoulder against mine, almost like his version of a thank you, and I can’t help but smile, too. Then I watch him lower his head, his eyes fixed on the chips he’s picking at with his little wooden fork, and the happiness slowly bleeds from his face. When he speaks, his voice is quiet and melancholy.

“It’s my mum…and the arsehole she’s living with. When I went to university, she was in a really good place. She’s had her struggles over the years, but I got her a good mental health team. She was on the right medications, and had the best support in place. She’d been stable for a while, and was managing to take care of my little sister on her own, which is why I agreed to move away for university. I thought they would both be fine.

“My sister didn’t tell me that anything was wrong, and they both encouraged me not to come home for the holidays or summer, telling me I had to embrace my freedom and be a teenager for a bit longer before adulthood really hit. I thought they were doing it for me, when really they were hiding how bad things had gotten.

“I didn’t even know Mum was seeing someone new, as she knew I’d never approve of him. It didn’t take him long to get her to cut off the support system she had in place, and to stop taking the medication she needs. Instead, he got her hooked on drugs, began pimping her out, and abusing her.”

As Miles’ story goes on, he never lifts his gaze from his chips, but his anger seeps into every word. He never increases in volume, but the fury and despair is evident in the clipped way he speaks.

I don’t know his mum or sister, but my heart breaks for them and what they’re going through. I hate the idea of anyone being subjected to abuse and violence, and it takes all of my effort to focus on Miles’ story and not let my own darkness creep in.

Tears for his family fill my eyes, but I fight to stop them from falling, biting my lip as a distraction. I don’t want to pull Miles out of his story, but I want him to know that I’m here.

I reach over and wrap my arm around his back, pulling him against my side in a comforting gesture. I try to pass what little strength I have over to him. Although he doesn’t look at me, I feel his tense muscles relax under my touch as he continues with his story.

“When Mum stopped bringing in enough money to fund their habit, he turned his attention to my twelve-year-old sister, Courtney,” he says with a sneer, his face twisting in disgust.

I let out a gasp, even though I didn’t mean to, and as soon as he hears the noise, Miles turns to look at me. Some of the tears I’d been trying so hard to keep locked away have escaped and are crawling down my cheek as my heart races.

“Is she okay?” My voice is barely above a whisper, and despite having so much more I want to ask, I can’t trust my body not to betray me.

Even with my awful past, I’m suddenly grateful that the worst of it didn’t happen until I was older. I’m not sure how I’d have coped going through it as a young girl.

Miles reaches up and cups my cheek with his palm, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. Although his lips are fixed in a tight line, he pulls the corners up to give me a small smile.

“Courtney is safe. She called me before anything happened to her, and I came home straight away. She’s living with me now, and seems to be doing better than when I first returned,” he explains, before letting out an incredibly sad sigh.

“I just wish I could protect my mum, too. She’s still living with that arsehole, and is refusing all the help I’m offering her. She’s so caught up in the drugs, she can’t see beyond them, or think rationally—particularly since she’s no longer taking her mental health medications either. I just wish I could help her.”

His honesty overwhelms me, and I hate how much I can relate to aspects of his life. But what I hate more is that I’ll never be able to share that with him. He may trust me with his secrets, but mine need to stay hidden—to keep us both safe.

Miles’ kind, caring, sweet nature only draws me to him more, and despite the awful seriousness of the conversation, I can’t help but smile at him. The love he has for his sister—and his mother, who doesn’t necessarily deserve it—shows just how much of a beautiful person he is.

“There are a lot of girls in this world that would kill to have someone protect them the way you have with Courtney. Someone who loves and cares for them so much that they’d put their happiness first.

“You may not be able to help your mum, and I’m sorry if that’s the case, but what you’ve done for Courtney will change her life. She doesn’t have to live in fear, and she gets to be a kid again, which is a great thing. I hate that you’ve had to sacrifice so much to do it though,” I tell him, meaning every word.

Miles leans closer and playfully nudges my shoulder with his, giving me that smile of his that makes my stomach flutter. “I can’t complain too much. If none of that happened, I wouldn’t have come back to Blackthorn for the summer. I would never have been in that bar, and I’d have never met you. Every cloud has a silver lining.”

I can’t help but return his smile, my heart racing when I notice him leaning in closer. He moves slowly, watching as my breath hitches and my eyes widen, whilst remaining fixed on him. He lifts his hand to cup my cheek, rubbing his thumb across it.

His voice is barely above a whisper, but I can hear it loud and clear as he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

I don’t think about my past, or how much I hate being touched. I don’t think about fear or anxiety. I don’t think aboutthe hatred I feel for my body, or the worry that I might not do it right. I shut out all the intrusive thoughts and just live in the moment.

Nodding my head comes easily, but when he waits for me to use my voice, it becomes harder. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes as I whisper, “Yes.”

I’ve barely got the word out when I feel his lips against mine, and it’s like something out of a movie. My entire world lights up, even with my eyes closed. My body tingles, my heart races, and for the first time in forever, I feel alive.

After only a couple of seconds, Miles pulls away, my lips tingling from the absence of his. I don’t hesitate for even a moment, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull him towards me. I slam our lips together, deepening the kiss in the most sinful way.

I’m not the most experienced with things like this, so I just listen to my body and follow Miles’ lead. As he sweeps his tongue along my lower lip, I open to grant him the access he’s asking for, relishing in the feel and taste of him.