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Although he knows why I had to leave, I still owe him a big fucking apology for the way it played out. I guess, at some point, I’m going to have to pull on my big girl pants and get on with that conversation, but today is not that day. I’m too bloody drained to tackle that.

Today is the day I moved in with a guy I have a crush on, who also happens to have feelings for my ex, who I’m still in love with. There are fucking soap operas with less drama than my life right now.

After taking me to my new room, which is bigger than the flat I was staying in, Jake shows me around his apartment. It’s not lost on me that my room is in between his master bedroom, and the spare he’s allocated to Miles.

I’m not sure what I was expecting Jake’s apartment to look like, but this place far exceeds anything my imagination could have cooked up. It’s fucking massive, for starters. The kitchen, living room, and dining room are all one large open-plan space, with bright walls and a floor-to-ceiling window, showing off the view.

Everything feels light and spacious, but there’s also a slightly homey feel to it. There are a few personal touches, like photographs of Jake with the people close to him, throughout various stages of his life. There are also things like a games console and poker chips that I expected to see.

“I redecorated recently,” Jake explains when we enter the living room. “When I was using, I didn’t exactly look after this place. So when I got sober, I wanted to make it a safe place for me, rather than a reminder of the binges.”

“It’s beautiful,” I tell him honestly, smiling as I look at a picture on the wall of Jacob and Chloe when they were small children.

“Why don’t you spend a little time unpacking and settling in, then tonight we can have a takeaway and watch a movie tocelebrate you moving in?” He looks almost nervous, hoping I’m going to agree, and my heart melts.

“I’d like that,” I tell him.

The smile on Jake’s face almost makes me giggle. He’s practically bouncing as he says, “That’s great.”

We break away, each looking forward to what the evening may hold, but there’s so much going on in my mind. I try to distract myself as much as possible.

Unpacking doesn’t exactly take long when everything I own fits into a couple of cases. So I opt to read for a bit before taking a bath.

After a long soak in the tub, and a lot of outfit changes, I’m finally ready to go out into the living room to meet Jake. I settled on some black leggings and a baggy T-shirt, as I wanted to go for a casual look, as opposed to this being a date.

Still, I put on a bit of makeup and pull my long blonde hair into a messy bun that took far too long to perfect. To say I’m trying to look casual, like I’ve not made any effort, it took a long fucking time to get ready.

Jake is already waiting on the sofa, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see he’s wearing black sweats and a tight white T-shirt, having also opted for the casual look.

His face lights up when he sees me, his lips tipping up into a smile that brings out his dimples. His chocolate eyes darken, as his gaze roams over my body, taking in the way my leggings cling to me like a second skin, showing off my curves.

“You look beautiful,” he says as he pulls me down onto the sofa beside him.

He points to the drink he’s already got for me that’s sitting on the side-table. I take a gulp, letting the Coke soothe my dry mouth. “Thank you,” I tell him when I’ve put it down.

“If you want to put any alcohol in it, you can, but I don’t keep any in the house,” he explains, his cheeks flushing a little as he drops his gaze down to his hands.

I reach over and take one of his hands in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze, until he finally looks up and makes eye contact with me. “I won’t bring any alcohol into this house. You’re doing so well with your sobriety, and I won’t ever put that at risk.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

I shake my head as I say, “You don’t ever have to thank me for that.”

His bright smile lights up his face again, the embarrassment now long forgotten. “Well, thank you for joining me for pizza and movie night,” he says, shuffling on the sofa until he gets comfy, so I do the same.

We’re sitting right next to each other, our legs touching. Despite there being more than enough room on the sofa for us to spread out, neither of us wants that.

As soon as I think about all the extra room, Miles flashes in my mind, and I realise there’s more than enough space for him to join us too. That thought occupies my mind for far too long, and the words fly out before I have the chance to stop them, sounding like a shy whisper.

“Will Miles be coming?”

Jake winces at my question, shuffling uneasily. “I’ve asked him. He’s been busy with Marcus today.”

I haven’t seen Miles for the last two days, since we met for coffee and I told him everything. He said he’d consider moving in with us, but then he pretty much disappeared. I’ve not even seen him at the club either, which is very unusual.

I give Jake a small, tight smile. “You’re a terrible liar, Jake.”

“He really is with Marcus,” he rushes out, defending himself, before adding, “But I think he’s ignoring us too. Give him some time.”