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I think I’ve known for a long time how I feel about my men, but I still haven’t found the courage to tell them. I let out a sigh, knowing I owe Marcus my honesty.
“I haven’t told them yet, but yes, I love them both. I don’t think I ever stopped loving Miles, and Jake…well, it’s hard not to love him.”
Chloe lets out a laugh, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she nods in agreement. I notice the corner of Marcus’ lips lift just the slightest, giving the barest ghost of a smile as he says, “That’s good enough for me.”
“And me,” Chloe says brightly, swiping her finger under her eye.
Marcus’ gaze narrows on me, his expression turning dark for just a second as he adds, “If you hurt them, I’ll make sure they never recover your body.”
Chloe lets out a long groan, slapping Marcus on the arm again as his expression returns to normal. I rattle my head, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do with the dangerous threat he just casually threw my way.
Luckily, I don’t have to think for too long, as Chloe speaks, pulling me out of my spiralling thoughts. “Since you’re dating my brother, and the guy I see as a brother, I think we need to get to know each other better. Shall we meet for coffee tomorrow?”
She looks at me with bright, hopeful eyes, and I can’t help but smile. “I’d like that.”
I’ve never really had friends before, so I’m not entirely sure if I’d be very good at it, but just like her brother, Chloe seems tobe an easy person to get along with. The least I can do is try, for Miles and Jake.
It’s been almosttwo weeks since my face-to-face with Marcus and Chloe, and things have been surprisingly great. After the first coffee meeting with Chloe, I realised she’s just as easy to like as her brother is.
There’s something about the Santoro siblings that makes them easy-going and relaxing to be around—which is apparently quite an achievement given their parents are the exact opposite, though I’ve yet to meet them.
They take over the conversation, chatting about anything and everything in such a way that’s impossible for you not to take part.
One coffee date turned into another, and before I knew it, I had my very first friend in Chloe, and not just because I was dating her brother. I got the impression early on that Chloe didn’t have many friends either, but I can only assume that’s because of her parents and the life she was raised in, as Chloe is quite possibly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.
The day came for me to sit down with Jenny, Marcus’ sketch artist, and to say I was shitting myself was an understatement. Both Miles and Jacob were adamant they wanted to be with me, to support me, and as grateful as I am for their support, I wasn’t sure I wanted them with me as I relieved the worst part of my past.
I didn’t even need to voice my worries aloud, it was like Chloe just knew. She told the guys she would stay with me, and thatneither of them were welcome. Naturally, as I expected, both men kicked off, but Chloe held her own, until Marcus dragged them both off, kicking and screaming.
Although we’ve become good friends, neither of us has spoken much about our pasts. It became clear when she fought for me that Chloe has a tortured past too.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asks me, as we wait for Jenny to arrive.
We’re sitting in Marcus’ office at Caged, and it feels so weird to be sitting in his chair, waiting for someone to take the seat I’m usually in. My nerves are on edge, and I’ve bitten the skin around my fingernails so much, they’re bleeding. But I’m trying to stay strong, knowing this is what I need to do to put an end to things.
“I can do this.” I’m not sure if I say it more to myself or Chloe.
“You can. You’re stronger than you realise.”
I look up at her then, recognising the haunted expression in her eyes. It’s the same one I saw reflected in the mirror for several years before I came back to Blackthorn.
“You have trauma in your past too, don’t you?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
With an almost imperceptible nod, Chloe’s lips tilt into a frown. “Yeah, I do.”
“Is your monster still…free?” I ask, not really sure how else to word it. We both know what I’m asking her.
Although Chloe’s lips lift into a smile, there’s no happiness there that I’m used to seeing, just contentment. “The boys took care of my monster, just like they’ll take care of yours.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. I should have known the answer already. Marcus is too protective to allow someone who hurt Chloe to breathe even once more.
“Did it make you feel better, knowing he was gone?” As soon as the words are out there, I realise how desperate I am for the answer.
I really want to be able to live a normal life, free from watching over my shoulders constantly while always running. I want to settle down with my men, to have a future with them, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do that.
I keep telling myself that when my demons are gone, I’ll finally be free to move on and live a normal life. But in the darkest recesses of my brain, when I’m alone with my thoughts, I worry that even when they’re gone, I still won’t be able to have a normal life.
I worry they’ve tainted me too much for that. There are too many black clouds hanging over me for me to ever be able to live in the light.