Page 30

I’m reminded once more that Courtney never really got the chance to be a kid. She was always much older and wiser than her years, and clearly more observant than I ever gave her credit for.

“I’m his sobriety partner now. I’m helping him to battle against his addiction,” I tell her, offering what little explanation I can for why Jacob has suddenly become a prominent figure in my life once again.

She doesn’t miss the fact I glance over her observations, but she doesn’t push me on it. I’m not ready to talk about prom night with anyone, let alone my little sister.

“What’s it like having him back in your life like that?” she asks, pulling me back to the present.

I shrug my shoulders as I take a sip of my drink. “Honestly, it’s been okay. We mostly keep to safe topics, and things seem to have gone back to how they were when we were friends. If he starts talking about the past, during the counselling sessions I have to attend with him, I leave. I made it clear from the beginning that for me, the past is off-limits, and his therapists respect that.”

“Don’t you think talking about it will help?” she asks, and I can hear the almost accusatory tone she’s trying her hardest to mask.

I shake my head with a huff. “There’s no point. Nothing has changed. Jacob is the Santoro heir, and that comes with responsibilities.”

Courtney scoffs, her face scrunching up in disgust. “You mean Caleb Santoro is a homophobic arsehole who is demanding Jacob gets married and produces an heir?”

Hearing her mention the path that Jacob has laid out before him makes my stomach twist, and sadness sits heavily on my heart as I nod in confirmation.

“It’s not just that. Jake’s not exactly shown any signs that he doesn’t agree with his father’s views.”

Courtney huffs loudly. “Bollocks. I may have been young, but I saw the way he looked at you, too. I’m guessing he was scared of his feelings, and hurt you to avoid dealing with them.”

Nausea ripples through me and my heart breaks all over again as memories from that dark time threaten to reappear. I focus on pushing them back, digging my nails into my palms, so the pain acts as a distraction.

I nod, my voice sounding shaky as I say, “Yeah, he hurt me a lot. I didn’t think I’d ever like anyone again.”

“Then Dee came along,” Courtney finishes for me.

I give her a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes, as I think back to the first night I met Dee. “She helped me forget about everything. All the shit with Mum, Bruce, the overwhelming need to protect you, the past with Jake…everything.

“When I was with her, I got to be a normal twenty-two-year-old with no responsibilities. Even though we were both hiding things, it didn’t seem to matter, as we got to be together.”

I almost want to shake my head at my naivety. At the time, I knew Dee was hiding things from me, that she had secrets, butbecause I had some of my own that I wasn’t willing to share, it didn’t seem fair to push her to reveal hers, when I had no intention of reciprocating.

We both turned a blind eye to the secrets, and the things we lied about by omission. In hindsight, I should have known that nothing good would come out of something that was built on such an unstable foundation, but that’s love for you. It makes you blind and stupid.

Courtney squeezes my hand, passing her strength over to me, bringing me back to the here and now. “I’m glad she gave you that. I hated all the pressure I put on you that summer, and everything that you had to miss out on because of me.”

Her voice breaks at the end, and I watch as a tear rolls down her cheek. Without thinking, I climb out of my side of the booth, rush around the table and slide in next to my sister. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side.

“You don’t ever have to feel bad, Court. I would give up anything and everything to keep you safe,” I tell her, hoping she can hear the sincerity in my voice, as I mean every word.

She buries her head into my chest, like she used to do when she was younger. I hear her mutter something about me being soppy, but I hug her tighter still.

When her tears have stopped, she pulls away, but I keep my arm around her shoulders, giving her the support she needs. “I remember how cut up you were when she left. You hid it well, with everything that was going on, but I saw how much it broke you,” she confesses, looking incredibly sad for me.

I give her a barely there nod, not really needing to confirm that her statement is correct. Before I can stop it, a dark chuckle slips out, and Courtney looks at me like I might have lost my mind, so I explain.

“How weird is it that the only two people who have ever broken my heart are now dating each other?”

Court winces, her eyes narrowing as she struggles to find the right words to respond. “Are you sure they’re dating?” she asks tentatively.

I let out another laugh as I drag my hand through my hair. “I may not have been on one for a very long time, but I know what a date looks like, Court.”

“But you don’t know for sure,” she pushes, her light-blue gaze piercing mine.

“Chloe seems to think they’re just friends, but she’s being naïve. She wants to see the best in her brother.” I don’t bother adding that Chloe is clearly wasting her time, given her brother is a massive manwhore!

“Whereas you want to see the worst in him?” Court adds, somewhat unhelpfully.