Page 86 of Your Last First Kiss

With their laughter in my ears, I walk to Kai. My palms are sweaty, and I’m surprised to find I’m nervous. I rub them on the ass of my jeans just as I reach him.

“Hey, Kai. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

His eyes shift from his mom to me and back again. She must nod behind me because he mimics the motion before turning his eyes to mine.

“Sure.”

I bite the inside of my cheek as his posture sinks, and I turn to Penny to figure out what the hell I did. She gives a shrug that I think is supposed to be encouraging, so I plow forward.

“Can we sit?” I ask Kai, and his shocked expression tells me he isn’t used to having choices.

Neither am I, kid.

“Y—Yup.” He backs into the chair he was in with Mari. I pull another folding chair over to face him and place my forearms on my thighs.

He sits farther back in his chair with his hands in his lap like I’m making him more nervous, so I just blurt it out.

“I think I owe you an apology.”

“What?”

“Why?” Miller asks, obviously eavesdropping.

“Dillon?” Penny says softly, but I hold up my hand to silently beg them all to stay out of it. If I have any chance with Penny, I need to win their trust.

Trust from each of them.

“After I saw what was happening the other day, I don’t remember much but an impulse. A need more powerful than myself to keep you all safe. It’s like I blacked out, but I need you to understand that I don’t take my actions lightly. I would do it again if I had to, but I don’t willingly choose violence. Ever.”

I search his face, noting the first signs of stubble on his upper lip. In some ways, he’s still a baby but forced to act like a man.

Kai’s eyes water, but he blinks away the tears. When he opens his mouth, a thick string of mucus stretches between his open lips, a sure sign he’s on the edge of what he can handle. He closes it without a sound, swallows, and tries again.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Mr. Dillon. You did what I couldn’t. You kept Lia safe.” He looks away like he’s ashamed by that admission.

The air couldn’t have been sucked from the depths of my lungs more painfully if someone had stabbed them with a knife.

Penny steps forward, but my eyes cut to hers, and I silently ask for a chance. A chance to have this conversation with her oldest son. She nods with a trembling chin.

“First of all—” My voice cracks. In the background, Remy tells the younger kids that he has ice cream in the kitchen. That man is a goddamned savior. “First of all, that’s not your job, Kai. You were put in an adult situation, and you did protect her. You kept him from getting in that car and driving off. You stalled him long enough for me to get there. You did everything you possibly could, but it wasn’t your job.”

“She’s my sister,” he says with an edge to his voice that I’m not sure how to handle. Where am I going wrong?

Then it hits me. He’s a little protector because it’s all he’s ever known. He doesn’t have the healthy boundaries fathers are supposed to set.

So I try again. “When she’s older and starts dating, that’s the kind of protecting big brothers are supposed to do. Keeping her safe in a situation like we were in? That’s not on you.”

I shake my head while biting my tongue to keep from saying anything negative about his father. It’s so fucking hard, but that’s not what he needs from me. When he shifts in his seat, I work up the courage to continue before I lose him.

“But helping you protect your family is not what I’m apologizing for.”

He frowns and looks at his mother. I follow his gaze to find Penny and Miller staring at me with twin expressions of confusion.

Leaning forward, I wait for Kai to look at me again. “I made you a promise, Kai. And I keep my promises, remember?”

He lifts his hand to scratch the side of his head but doesn’t say anything.

“I’m apologizing because I don’t remember what I said. It was a moment of panic and true fear, and I don’t remember what I yelled at your dad.”