Page 72 of Your Last First Kiss

“Okay, I’ll bite. What did you see in my eyes?”

“Myself,” he says as carelessly as you would toss an empty box into the recycling bin. “I focused on the wrong things for so long that I lost the one pure joy in my life before I ever got to appreciate her.”

A jolt of pain has me rubbing my fist into my chest just above my heart. When I find him watching the movement, I drop my hands to my sides.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” The sadness that fills my heart at his words is surprising.

“It was forty years ago now.” He speaks with a gentler tone, but he’s not looking at me. He’s staring at something I can’t see with regret filling his eyes.

“Forty? That’s a long time.”

“It’s a long time to be alone, yup. But you know how that feels, now, don’t ya?”

That question makes me shift in my seat uncomfortably. “It hasn’t quite been forty years for me, Remy.”

He leans back, folds his arms over his round belly, and then kicks his feet out in front of him. It’s a relaxed position, almost like he’s going to sleep. But he just stares at me.

And stares.

And stares.

“Ah, Remy? I’m kind of on a time crunch here. I need to see Kai. And Penny. All the kids. Even fucking Miller.”

“You know what’s funny about that statement?” His eyes crinkle at the corners.

“What?” I’m about to start pacing again when he speaks.

“The first person you said you needed to see was Kai. Not Penny.”

He’s right. I wait for the guilt to come, but it never does.

“They’re a package deal,” I say, “and he’s so young. I made him a promise I think I might have broken. I don’t really remember, but I need to make it right.”

“I think when a man can love another man’s child as much as his own, he’ll never let them down. That’s what Kai needs. That’s the kind of man that family needs. That’s the kind of man my town needs. Are you that man, Dillon Henry?”

There’s so much pressure and responsibility in his statement that I pause. Not because I don’t want to be, but because I think I want it more than anything in the world.

But can I do it?

“I’ve heard you grew up much like Kai is, Dillon.” He sighs, and it hits hard. He’s tired, but he keeps pushing on. “I did too, back in the day. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break, but sitting here with you now, and seeing the way you want to protect those kids, I believe in you, son. You’re just what we need.”

My breathing gets shallow, and my throat closes up. This old man is going to make me cry right here in a county jail. And I think he’s laughing about it.

I look over, and sure enough, he’s laughing at my tears.

“They don’t make you boys like they used to.” His chuckle dies down to a happy smile. “And I think that’s for the best. You’ll do better than the generation before and encourage the next generation to do the same. You have heart, Dillon. You have love and loyalty. You can do this. If you want it.”

“I want it,” I hear myself saying. There was no thought, no pause. I want it. Then reality sets in. “But only if we can bring Miller on full-time. Whatever he needs to make that happen, we do.”

Remy pulls a handkerchief from his chest pocket. “I think that’s a fine idea,” he says, then scrubs the cloth over his face to hide the emotion peeking through. “I’ll have all the paperwork ready for ya over at the TAC. What are your plans?”

What are my plans?

“I need to make sure Penny, Kai, and the kids are okay, and then I’ll go to the city and pack a few things. I have some loose ends to tie up with Envision and my condo so it might take a couple of days. Then I guess I’m moving to Chance Lake.”

A weird tingling sensation takes over my entire body. I’m happy. I’m scared shitless, but I’m happy and excited—more than I ever remember being in the past. Like I’m finally alive and full of possibilities and my body is responding to it.

“Well, there’s a truck outside waiting for you. It’s not fancy, but it’ll get you where you need to go. When you get back, we’ll get started.”