Page 122 of Your Last First Kiss

“That means I’ll have a severe case of blue balls until you’re comfortable being mine. It also means that on the days you work, I’ll come here to help with the kids. If I have to do stuff at the TAC, I’ll take the girls with me, and I’ll get the boys off the bus.”

“Are you sure you never wanted kids of your own? You’re pretty good at this whole parenting thing.” It’s so easy with him. Everything is easy with him, except, apparently, being with him and not alienating my oldest son.

“I learned from a very young age that blood does not make a family, Penny. It seems to me you have a pretty good one here. I just need to figure out how to make myself a more permanent fixture.”

He’s interrupted when Landon walks down the steps with a weary expression. When he reaches us, he gives Dillon puppy dog eyes that make my mommy heart clench. “Mari’s still asleep.” His tone is so sad, and I hate myself a little more for it. His worried gaze switches to Dillon. “For what it’s worth, I like you, Dillon.”

He inhales a sharp breath before speaking. “I like you too, Landon. In fact, I have something to talk to you about too.”

My middle son’s expression changes instantly. “Me?”

“Yeah. I found this over at the TAC.” Dillon hands over a folder I hadn’t noticed under his arm, and Landon’s face pales. I’m reaching for it before I can form words, but Dillon’s next sentence stops me. “You’re incredibly talented. I love that you have so many ideas for the TAC, and I wanted to see if you might be interested in a junior internship.”

Landon’s hands shake on the folder. “I—I’m not sure I like doing this anymore,” he says quietly.

“Landon?” Dillon pauses until my son lifts his head to meet his eyes. “Don’t let the words of others ruin the dreams you have for yourself. If that is something you’re interested in, even a little, I think you should explore it. You can’t teach talent like that.” He points to the folder in Landon’s hands, and this time I do reach for it.

Of all the things I was expecting, sketches of the TAC and the hotel were not it. Not just sketches though—detailed, amazing sketches.

“Lanny, you did this?” The nickname he asked me to stop using when he turned ten slips free. He’s my baby, and I missed all of this.

My son stares at the floor.

“Why didn’t I know? Do you like doing this? Dillon’s right. These are incredible.”

“Dad said drawing was for pu—other people. He said I couldn’t do it, or everyone would think I’m a freak.”

Dillon’s chest rumbles, Landon’s eyes droop, and my anger flares.

“Your dad doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about, Landon. Dillon’s right. If your dad’s words made you rethink something you love, then let’s talk about it. Don’t give up on something because he chose to be cruel instead of supportive.”

“Really?” his little voice asks.

“Really,” I say vehemently.

“Will I get to watch them design the hotel?” Landon asks Dillon with love in his eyes.

“As long as there are no safety issues, you can shadow any part of the process you’re interested in.”

Landon launches himself and wraps Dillon in a hug. Dillon returns the embrace, but his eyes stay on me. “We’re going to be okay,” he mouths.

And as he says it, everything in me wants to believe him.

“Go get ready for work, Penny. I’ve got the kids,” he says when Landon releases him.

“But Kai…”

“If Kai doesn’t want to ride to school with me, he can take the bus. He’s a big boy, Penny. He might just need to learn a few lessons on his own.”

“Okay,” I say and head up the stairs. My lists are loud in my head, but the one thing that’s the loudest is Kai.

Am I doing right by him?

Is it too soon to bring Dillon into our unit?

Will he hate me if I can’t give Dillon up?

The last one haunts my every waking moment.