Page 33 of Your Last First Kiss

“Me too, sweetie. I’m sorry too. But I’m a big girl, Kai. I am strong enough to take care of us all. You have to believe that. I need you to believe that.” He nods again and his tears soak the cotton of my sweatshirt.

We sit listening to Gage and Izzy laughing. Landon mumbles at the table, and I count. I count to ten. I count my blessings. I count my mistakes.

“I still have to ground you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Two weeks. School, home, and practice. And when you’re home, no phone.”

He silently hands over his phone like he knew it was coming. “Mr. Dillon is nice.”

That catches me off guard, and air stills in my lungs. “He is.”

“He likes you.”

I don’t move. We’re in unchartered territory here. “You and your brothers are my top priority. You always will be.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Pulling back, I wait for him to lift his face to look at me.

My baby looks exhausted, scared, and more than a little sad.

“Talk to me, Kai. What are you thinking?”

“I wish things didn’t have to be so hard for you.”

“Oh, Kai. I’m stronger than I look. You don’t have to worry about me.” I give him a smile, and pray that my chin doesn’t wobble.

He looks like he wants to say something but can’t find the words. Finally, he says, “If I don’t, who will?” Without giving me a chance to answer, he stands quickly and roughly dries his tears with the back of his hand. “I’m going to clear the first path before the snow gets too heavy to do it with a shovel.”

I press my lips together to stop the tears from trying to escape. Then I pull him into a hug and hold on for dear life. “Let me get the kids settled, and then I’ll get dressed and come help.”

He nods once but doesn’t say anything as he pulls away and reaches for his snow gear.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be a kid worrying about girls and basketball. Not his alcoholic father or the disasters he leaves in his wake.

Silently, I issue another apology.I’m so sorry for failing you, Kai.Then I trudge to the kitchen.

Life is a series of kicks to the heart, and if it misses you the first time, it’ll always get you on the backswing.

CHAPTER10

DILLON

Ipull my Tesla into the garage across the street from Penny’s house and look around. Miller parked outside and guided me into a stall on foot.

Turning off the engine, I step out and find Miller adjusting something on the wall. “What’s that?”

“Alarm,” he says with a shrug. “We don’t normally set it on this side of the building because there’s nothing here.”

“High crime in Chance Lake?”

His chuckle echoes in the mostly empty garage. “Nah, but better safe than sorry.”

I follow him through a door and into an unfinished space.

“What is this place?” I look up at the rafters and try to make sense of what I’m seeing. It’s open like a barn, but the structure is wrong. Like someone started building and quit halfway through.