Page 7 of Your Last First Kiss

I tap twice on the window, and three sets of eyes turn to me. Three happy sets of eyes that make my own mist. Seeing the impact Ashton has had on my children makes me hate their father a little more.

It should have been him out there playing, laughing, and loving.

But it’s not. Eddy was my childhood sweetheart who grew up to be my biggest heartache, but I’ll never regret him. Through unimaginable pain, he gave me three blessings. My boys.

Dillon wouldn’t miss the chance to be out there. I know he wouldn’t.

That thought stops me cold. By keeping Dillon at arm’s length, am I also depriving my boys of a real relationship with a man who only knows how to love?

My hands shake, but I plaster on a smile for Nova’s benefit and walk out my front door.

* * *

The driveto the city is long, but at this time of day, it’s not nearly as bad as when I take the train during rush hour. And it’s a hundred times more comfortable. But it also gives me too much time to think. Too much time to make mental lists that never seem to get smaller.

Things like:

Wash Kai’s uniform.

What would happen if I let Dillon in?

Sign Gage’s field trip permission slip.

Landon needs new shoes.

Dillon.

Groceries! Always freaking groceries.

Make a doctor’s appointment.

Would Dillon stick around if he knew how often I pretended to be okay?

The town car Lochlan insisted on pulls up outside his hotel, and my to-do list is immediately forgotten. Somehow, he’s managed to make even the entrance look like a winter wonderland straight out of a fairytale. Silver and white trees sparkle on either side of the doors, and lights twinkle overhead like fireflies. It’s truly impressive.

“Thank you,” I say to the driver when he opens my door and offers his hand to help me out. I watch my very high heels so they don’t get caught in the fabric of my very tight dress. Well, Nova’s dress. I don’t own anything this fancy.

I slip my hand into his, and electric static strong enough to make my dress cling to my legs tingles up my arm. With a nervous giggle, I try to remove my hand, but the driver holds tighter.

That’s when I spot the driver off to my right, and my gaze snaps up to the man holding my hand.

Dillon Henry.

I’ve made a valiant effort over the years to never touch him. Being skin-to-skin with this man creates a chemical reaction stronger than any drug.

Not that I’ve ever taken drugs, but it’s the best analogy I can come up with when the slightest touch from him fries every brain cell I own. Especially when he’s this close. I swear he can break hearts with those hazel eyes, but you can see the sadness in them if you look close enough.

How many people look close enough?

“Penny,” he rumbles. His voice is like dark wood. Rich and thick, it causes goosebumps to rise on my exposed skin. And then there’s that grin.

His crooked grin reveals one dimple that always makes me melt. It’s shy in a way that makes me think he doesn’t quite believe he’s entitled to happiness.

We have so much in common.

“D—Dillon.” He’s also been known to render me stupid with his handsomely chiseled face, and I have to really focus to make my words work. “Moonlighting as a valet tonight? Perhaps we should talk to Lochlan about a raise.”

His resonant laugh vibrates through his body into mine where our hands are still connected, and I get a flash of a full smile. It’s rare when it happens, but when it does, it blocks out the darkness in its blinding beauty.