Page 53 of Your Last First Kiss

I glance at Miller, who is watching me and Kai nearly as much as he is the empty, snowy road. He raises his brow in a silent question I can’t begin to decipher.

Maybe he’s asking himself the same thing I am.

Could I be the man this family needs? Would Penny let me?

We pull into Penny’s driveway, and I let Kai out but take my time heading to the house. My steps are heavy in the snow. They’re weighted down by impossible questions.

“Penny will protect her boys first and foremost,” Miller says as he rounds the truck. “But what she needs is someone who wants to be here. Do you want to be here, Dillon?”

Movement at the door catches my eye. Penny stands in the doorframe, hugging a squirming Kai. She lifts her smile to Miller and me, and my breath stalls in my lungs.

The warm buzzing in my chest spreads throughout my body at that smile, and I have a sense of belonging that I haven’t had since I was a young boy. Young enough to believe in magic and not yet tainted by the realities of other people’s choices.

I’ve always thought that a life full of choice wasn’t for me. But maybe it’s that the right choices haven’t been presented to me yet.

For the first time I can remember, I want to make a choice. I want to choose Penny Mulligan, and I want to choose her boys.

CHAPTER16

PENNY

Dillon and Miller stand in front of the truck with their hands in their pockets. Miller has his back to me, but Dillon? Dillon’s face is a flurry of emotion as he watches Kai and me.

“Dillon did good today,” Kai says, pulling free from a hug that has gone on longer than he’d like.

“Oh yeah?” I look back outside one last time, and when neither man moves to come in, I shut the door. “That’s good, right?”

“We got through Miller’s list in half the time, so yeah.” He hangs up his coat and looks around. “Are you okay?”

I look down at my sweatshirt that has spit-up down the front and my sweatpants that are fraying on the thighs and at the cuffs. “Yeah, just another day.”

He leans forward and pulls something from my messy bun. Pinching it between his fingers, he holds up a sticky piece of a teething biscuit. “Did…” He glances behind me into the family room and lowers his voice. “Did Dad show up?”

I smile sadly. “No, but Aster said she has a space heater and is waiting for him.”

Kai’s face falls. No matter how many times his dad disappoints him, there’s still a sad little boy in there hoping for the best.

The front door opens, and rich, manly laughter fills my home. Miller stomps his feet on the porch and enters. Dillon does the same until we’re all crowded into my six-by-six foyer.

All three of them share a look, then turn to me.

“Oh my God. It smells freaking amazing in here,” Dillon says, pointing his nose in the air to get a better whiff. Then he leans forward into Kai’s space. “Freaking isn’t a swear where I come from. Is it here?”

Kai pales, then looks at me, and I shrug. “I mean, I don’t want the eight-year-old saying it, but once in a while from Kai isn’t the end of the world.”

Kai’s grin is blinding as color seeps back into his cheeks.

Dillon nudges him with his elbow. “I keep my promises, kid. All. The. Freaking. Time.”

My son’s head bobbles, and he averts his eyes.

Does Dillon have any idea how powerful that statement is for a family like mine?

Tears prick the corners of my eyes, so I quickly turn away from them. “I made beef stew in the slow cooker, and the bigger kids helped make rolls from scratch. It should be ready soon.”

“We’re going to shower,” Miller calls as I retreat. My mind temporarily seizes on Dillon in my shower.

Using my soap.