Page 5 of Your Last First Kiss

Penny and I have only talked about it twice. How far can one bend the truth before it’s a full-on lie?

Jesus, now I’m trying to justify my actions to my own damned self.

“So she still thinks you’re with someone else?”

Why the hell did I come to the gym today? I could have avoided all of this and met them at the office. “We haven’t talked about it.”

“You’d better, and quick. That’s every Hallmark movie disaster ever made just waiting to happen,” Ashton says with an expression of total disapproval.

He’s right. Well, I don’t know if he’s right about Hallmark movies, but he’s right about Penny.

“My boss needs to break up with his imaginary girlfriend so he can make a move on the girl who actually exists,” Ryder deadpans.

“Shut the fuck up and pass me the ball.”

“Don’t think you can deflect the Penny issue forever,” Ash calls to my back.

My stride breaks only momentarily. They have no idea how much headspace Miss Penny actually takes up in my mind. Late at night is the worst. But she’s made her stance perfectly clear.

She doesn’t have time for me.

CHAPTER2

PENNY

“Your divorce has been final for years, Penny. It’s okay to move on,” Nova says gently from her spot at my kitchen table. Her one-year-old, Hope, sits on the floor below her, playing with pink and blue blocks.

“I know it is.” And I do. But I have my boys to think about, and that takes all of my energy. I don’t have time to do the laundry—how on Earth would I ever have time to date? The time not spent with my boys or cleaning something is dedicated to long train commutes and even longer work hours so I can give the boys the life they deserve, because if I don’t, no one will.

Being both mom and dad is more challenging than I could have ever imagined. But my only goal as a mom, and maybe in life, is to make sure I raise good humans who don’t turn out like their father.

“You look good.” There’s a smugness to her words, so I refuse to look at her. “But you always look good. Especially on Wednesdays.”

“Nova,” I groan.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

I don’t because I can’t.

The weekly time with Dillon is a sanctuary for me. He’s a little slice of heaven who can steal my breath with a single look. But I’ll never voice it, not to Nova, not to anyone. I can’t. Putting it out in the universe will make my reality so much more painful because my life is messy and so freaking complicated. If I can barely handle our chaos, an outsider wouldn’t last five minutes.

Personal wants and needs simply do not exist for a single mom…at least they don’t for me.

But if they did? Each and every one would revolve around Dillon Henry.

“You’ve been playing this flirting game with him since my wedding, and you never did tell me what happened at the reception.”

“Nothing happened. We danced. I’d never danced with anyone but Eddy. It was—it was nice,” I whisper. “But nothing happened.”

Her eyes soften as she looks at me. “Eddy’s a douche. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” She lets out a shaky breath. “Not everyone will cheat on you, Pen.”

I flinch.

“Sorry, that was harsh.”

“Harsh but true,” I mutter.

“Dillon’s a good guy, you know.”