Page 12 of Your Last First Kiss

A tear slips from the corner of her eye. I move to wipe it away, but she turns her back on me.

It’s worse than rejection. She’s shut me out. I have no right to feel slighted, but it cracks open old wounds I thought I’d put to bed years ago. The ones that say no one will ever want you, and you’ll never be enough.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll come home,” she whispers. Ashton must protest because Penny shakes her head in the silence. “No, Ash. Thank you, but this is my mess. I need to talk with Kai.”

I hate how her voice breaks. I hate that she won’t allow me to comfort her, and I really fucking hate that her ex can still cause this much pain.

“I’m leaving now. Thanks, Ash.”

Penny stands with her back to me. Her calf muscles tighten against the silky fabric of her dress, then her beautiful ass clenches before she straightens her back. She’s fortifying her resolve. It’s like she’s wrapping herself in protective armor from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

I have no goddamned clue what she lives with every day. I have no right to demand answers when I haven’t proved that I can fit in her world, but fuck me if it isn’t what I want to do.

“I should have known better than to ask for more,” she whispers. Her voice cracks like old sandpaper and my heartbeat rages in my ears. But she’s so quiet that I doubt she meant those words for me.

She turns, and her expression fillets me.

“I’m sorry, Dillon. I—I’ll never have the time you deserve. It was unfair of me to even think I could try…” Her chin drops to her chest and her shoulders tremble. A lock of golden brown hair falls from her ear to cover her face.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

Her gaze snaps to mine. “Why are you sorry?”

She gets a tiny wrinkle between her eyebrows when she’s confused, and my focus stays there as I speak. Even sad she’s fucking adorable.

“I like you, Penny. So much that I fear I’m making things hard for you that really should be quite simple. You’ve told me what you’re capable of, and I still show up here wanting to be your prince.”

“No, I told you I wanted to try, but it was selfish of me. I can’t— My life, it’s—”

I hold up a hand to stop her. “I’m a patient man, sweetheart.”

Her phone buzzes in her hand, and she jumps. “It—it’s Kai. His dad showed up at the gym and started a fight with another parent. Kai got in the middle of it and—and…”

That acid that materializes anytime her ex is mentioned sits raw in my throat. “Is Kai okay?” The words don’t sound like my own. My voice is low, with a dangerous edge to it.

Penny shifts from foot to foot. “Yeah. Yes. But I…”

“I’ll walk you to your car.” Turning, I open the door and wait for her to pass before following her out. We’re silent on the short walk through the lobby and out onto the street, where I flag one of the waiting town cars with a Bryer-Blaine card on the dashboard.

“I’m sorry,” she says as I open her door.

“Don’t be. Never apologize for things that are out of your control. I got my dance. My holiday wish was fulfilled.”

She slips into the back seat with a sad smile. I wait for her to get situated, and then I gently close the door.

It isn’t until the taillights of the car are long gone that I turn to find Lochlan standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets.

“Nova called,” he says. “Her ex is a twuntytit determined to ruin every new beginning she tries to make.”

Unable to find the right words, I nod.

“You coming back in?” he asks.

Shaking my head, I clear my throat. “Nah. I got my wish. There’s nothing left for me here.”

I don’t mean to say it, but as I hear the words, I know I’m talking about more than just the party. “I’ll see you next week. Great party, Lochlan.” I infuse as much enthusiasm as I can into the statement, but it still falls flat.

“Dillon?” His tone sends alarms ringing in my ears.