Page 98 of When Ben Loved Tim

“It really was!” I confirm before launching into details.

“I’m so jealous,” Allison says at the end of my story. “Although, I’ve always wondered…” She shakes her head, as if it would be too much, which is a joke because—

“When have we ever held back?” I ask.

She laughs. “I don’t know if you’ll want to getthispersonal, but okay. Was it messy?”

“I was so nervous about that! Luckily the timing was right. We’ve done it again since then, but I made sure to wait until Iknewthe coast was clear. Girls are so much luckier in that regard. You can just let a guy stick it in whenever he wants.”

“Um, no, it’s not that simple. Are you forgetting that we bleed? Imagine if you had a nasty bout of diarrhea every month that could last up to a week. How much of a mood killer would that be?”

I grimace. “Sounds rough. I’ll stick with what I’ve got.”

Allison laughs. “I’m not trading mine either. Boy parts are weird. You’ve got all that extra stuff dangling around down there that you can’t even control.”

“Does that mean Ronnie is in for a long wait?” I tease.

“Maybe,” Allison says before reconsidering. “Or maybe not. Iamcurious.”

“Just make sure he’s the right one,” I advise. “I’m glad Tim was my first. Nobody can ever take that away. Actually, if we do get married, he might also be my last!”

“Wow. Things have really turned the corner for you guys. So now that you’re his boyfriend, does that mean no more secret relationship?”

“No,” I say with a sigh. “He still doesn’t want anyone to find out. We won’t get to spend New Year’s Eve together because he’s going to some big party with his dumb friends.”

“Good!” Allison says, grabbing a pillow and thwacking me with it. “I don’t want him to getallyour time. You still have to be my best friend, and there’s no way that my dad will let me stay out with Ronnie until midnight. So you better pucker up, because it’s going to be me and you as usual!”

“I don’t mind,” I tell her.

And it’s true, because if my boyfriend doesn’t have time for me, I can always rely on my best friend. What more could a guy ask for? Although I am a little nervous about going back to school. Everything was perfect when Tim was stuck at home with a sprained ankle. Everything has been perfect during the winter break, especially when his parents were out of town. I’m not sure what the future will bring, but whether I like it or not, I’m about to find out.

Chapter Nineteen

The year gets off to a good start, despite my concerns. The first few weeks of the semester follow a familiar routine. I sneak over to Tim’s house on random nights, so we can mess around, and he sleeps over at my place on the rare weekend nights when he’s able to ditch his friends. Tim still jogs, despite the cold, but I don’t try to find him when he does. I save my hunting for the school hallways, feeling a thrill each time his eyes meet mine, like a secret kiss. That’s what I’m craving today. I know his entire schedule and can choose to find him between any two classes. I know I won’t see him tonight, since he’ll be in his studio. I’m tempted to surprise him there, but I understand that he needs privacy to work. I can be a distraction. He never did paint me after we had sex there, although he still talks about wanting to. I keep thinking how romantic it would be if—

My train of thought is broken when I spot Tim’s friends in the hallway ahead of me, and I’m puzzled, because they’re hanging out with my physics partner Danny. Or so it first appears, since the popular kids are clustered around him. Danny even seems to turn and wave a gangly arm in my direction. That’s when I see something red sail above his ginger hair that bounces off the tips of his reaching fingers. Bryce snatches it out of the air, Danny’s expression becoming even more distraught. My pulse picks up along with my pace.

I watch as Bryce tosses a red ball cap over Danny’s head. Darryl leaps up to grab it. He waves the hat around, taunting Danny with it until he tries again. As soon as he’s close to grabbing it, Darryl flings the hat to another guy, who is overcome with laughter.

“Give it back!” Danny cries.

“Hey!” I call out, about to break into a sprint.

I hesitate when I notice Tim. He’s standing with his back to me. The hat is tossed to him. I feel a surge of relief, certain in my heart that he’ll put a stop to this. Danny turns to Tim, his face just as red as the ball cap. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears. I can’t see my boyfriend’s expression, but he better be pissed off at the behavior of his stupid friends!

“Over here,” Bryce says, getting behind Danny and cupping his hands, like he wants Tim to toss a football to him.

Tim tosses the hat over Danny’s head, my stomach sinking with its descent. I can’t believe he’s going along with this! Bryce catches the hat. I grit my teeth and march right into the middle of their group. By the time I do, Bryce is holding Danny at bay with an outstretched arm while waving the hat around with his free hand.

“Give it back!” I yell, pushing on the crook of Bryce’s elbow to force his arm to bend. That frees Danny, but I’m not relieved, because I’ve spent a lot of time feeling Tim’s muscles. Bryce’s bicep and forearm are even thicker.

“Get the fuck off, faggot!” Bryce growls before shoving me.

I stumble backward into Tim. I feel his hands on my shoulders, stabilizing me. I’m yanked out of his grip when Bryce grabs me by the shirt and swings me around, slamming my back against the row of lockers.

“Hey!” I hear Tim say. “Take it easy!”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Bryce yells, his breath hot in my face.