Page 103 of When Ben Loved Tim

“I want you to be my canvas.”

“Ooh!”I say, getting it at last. “Okay!”

I’m pulling my arms out of my sweater when we hear the doorbell.

“My mom will get it,” I say when he stops undoing his pants. I glance at the clock with a jolt. “Oh shit! I bet it’s Allison. We’re supposed to go shopping.”

We both stop to listen, and sure enough, we can hear her talking to my mom.

“Think she’ll be willing to wait downstairs?” Tim asks.

“While we do it?” I ask incredulously.

“Yeah! I’m insanely horny. I’ve been saving it up for you.”

Damn, that’s hot! I don’t want his sacrifice to be in vain. Or to miss out on that great big load. “Umm. We’ll be done shopping in the afternoon. Come back then.”

“Can’t,” Tim says, shaking his head. “I’ve got plans.”

Which has become code for hanging out with his friends. He avoids mentioning them around me, since I still get my back up about it all. I don’t even try to find him in the school halls anymore. I’d rather not witness that side of him. But there is plenty that Iameager to see.

“I could sneak over tonight,” I suggest. “If you can wait that long.”

“I’ll try,” he says, leaning in for a kiss.

My bedroom door swings open.

“Oh my god!” Allison says when she sees us. She starts to close the door, but hesitates as she takes in Tim’s bare torso. “Oh my god,” she repeats, breathlessly this time.

“Hey,” Tim says to her while puffing up his chest.

He’s such a show-off.

“Should I come back later?” Allison asks while continuing to stare.

“It’s okay,” I assure her. I grab Tim’s sweater and toss it to him, accidentally hitting him in the side of his head. He slings it over a shoulder instead of putting it on. “He was just leaving.”

“I’d rather be coming,” Tim murmurs under his breath when kissing me goodbye.

I laugh and push him away. “See you later.”

“Yeah,” he says, grabbing his jacket. “See ya.”

Allison steps aside to make room for Tim, her head pivoting to follow him on the way out. “He’s not really going to drive home like that,” she asks when entering my room, “is he?”

I shrug. “Is it wrong that I hope he does?”

“Not at all,” she says, fanning herself theatrically. “I can see why you’ve given the boy so many chances.”

“I am nothing if not superficial,” I reply shamelessly.

“Did I tell you that I saw Ronnie naked the other day?” Allison asks.

I rush over to shut my bedroom door before pressing my back to it. “I need details!”

We have fun catching up and also when out shopping. Enough that I’m glad I don’t have to rush home in the afternoon. Although once we do say goodbye, the evening drags on until it’s finally time to sneak out. I bundle up and hustle down snow-lined sidewalks, slipping on ice at one point, but I’m certain the peril will be worth it. I just hope he hasn’t given into temptation yet. I know he’d be up for another round, but I really want to expose myself to the arts.

My hands are shaking from cold by the time I slide his key into the lock. I try to stomp the excess snow off my boots before opening the door. After pulling it shut behind me, I turn around and am about to ascend the stairs when I hear a woman’s voice.