Page 57 of When Ben Loved Tim

“Tonight?” I repeat.

Tim nods. “Uh-huh. They’re heavy sleepers.” His face is close to mine, a playful smile on his lips. “All you have to do is let yourself in and sneak up to my room. They’re usually in bed by ten, so any time after eleven is safe.”

“What if I get caught?” I ask.

His eyes twinkle. “Aren’t you a professional gay stalker?”

“I mean, I haven’t gotten my certification yet, but basically.”

“You’ve got this.” Tim takes out his car keys. “I’ll see you later.” He glances around before kissing me. Just a light smooch, but it promises more.

I stared dumbfounded as he gets into his car. Tim is driving away when I shout, “Or you could just spend the night here!”

Probably. I’m not sure how my mom would react, now that she knows I have feelings for him. The idea of sneaking over to see him is hot anyway. I don’t think he wants to stay up all night talking. Although I wouldn’t mind that either. Still, it pays to be prepared. I go inside, make an appearance for my parents, and retreat to the bathroom to freshen up. Then I sit on my bed and stare at the painting he gave me while wishing time would match the rapid pace of my heart. When the hour draws near, leaving is easy. I’m on home turf. I know everyone’s schedule and which stairs squeak the most. It’s when I navigate the silent suburban streets that I become nervous. Tim’s house is dark. The porch light isn’t on. None of the windows are glowing. Which I guess is a good sign, since it means his parents have gone to bed. My hand is shaking when I try to slide the key into the lock. I get it after a few false starts. Then I swallow, hold my breath, and turn the knob. The door makes a noise as it swings away from the frame. Just a small sticking sound that probably isn’t very loud, but I go rigid anyway, not daring to move until I’m certain that I haven’t alerted anyone.

As bad as I want him, this is aterribleidea! What will I say to his parents if either of them catch me? I can’t think of a single excuse to explain why I’m slowly locking the door behind me and creeping toward the stairs. Scaling them is twice as intimidating. If his mother caught me in the entryway, I could dart into another room and maybe escape out the back. On the stairs, she’ll have plenty of time to turn on the lights and get a good look at me. I stop halfway up, my palm sweaty on the handrail. I still don’t hear anyone. Tim’s bedroom door beckons, the promise of sex enough for me to abandon my reservations and creep the rest of the way. I’m eager to get inside to safety, my attention darting to his parents’ bedroom door.

Which begins to open!

I quickly turn the knob to Tim’s room and shove my way inside. The room is dark except for a window that overlooks the backyard. Moonlight illuminates an empty bed. I’m thinking of diving beneath it, although maybe it would make more sense to get under the sheets and pretend to be Tim. Where is he anyway? I leap onto the mattress and claw at the comforter, attempting to cover myself, which doesn’t go well, so I grab a corner and roll, turning myself into a human burrito. The light flicks on. I clench my eyes shut like a little kid who thinks it’ll make him invisible. Then I hear laughter.

“Not bad,” I hear Tim say, loud enough to wake the whole house. “But I think you could use more practice.”

I sit up and blink against the light. Tim is leaning against the doorframe while smiling. “Your parents!” I hiss.

“Are out of town,” he replies.

I groan and toss a pillow at him, which he easily catches. “You suck!”

“So do you,” Tim replies. “That’s the rumor at school at least.”

“You’re not finding out tonight!” I growl. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“You’ll live,” he says, taking something out of his pocket. “You did good though. I didn’t hear a thing. I wouldn’t have known you were here if I wasn’t watching for you through the upstairs window.”

“I amneverdoing that again!”

Tim shrugs, flipping open a metal lighter and flicking it to make a flame appear. “Up to you.”

I crumple up my brow in puzzlement. “What are you doing?”

“Setting a mood.” Tim walks to his dresser to light candles that definitely weren’t there before. I recognize them from the dining room table downstairs. Glancing around, I notice a motley collection of candles gathered from around the house. “I don’t know what you’re so upset about,” he continues. “You were paying people to scare you downtown just a few hours ago.”

“Yeah, but I knew that was fake,” I say with a laugh.

He smiles and goes to the light switch to flip it off, leaving us in a warm orange glow. Tim turns to assess the room. “Are you into this?” he asks.

“Very!” I say breathlessly.

“Cool. It’s still your birthday. What do you want me to do?”

I stare for a second. “Anything I want?”

He nods. “Yeah. Name it.”

“Take off your shirt,” I say, sitting up with my back against the bed’s headboard.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” Tim says while complying.