Page 61 of When Ben Loved Tim

We shift and adjust until I fit into the contours of his body. His forearm is pressed against my chest, a hand wrapped around the shoulder near my neck. I feel him smooch the back of my head.

“Where’s the key I gave you?” he asks.

“In my jeans. How come?”

“Don’t lose it. I wanna do this again. How does every night sound?”

“Like we’ll get caught.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But during the weeks when it’s hard to see each other, this is how we’ll deal with it. Okay?”

I swallow and nod, wanting to tell him how I feel. But he’s already given me so much, so I keep it simple. “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“It’s not over yet,” Tim says with a yawn. “Can you sleep here tonight?”

“Yes.” I refuse to consider the consequences. I’m willing to pay any price to remain here with him.

Tim seems to feel the same way, the arm around me constricting. Asking for it would be greedy, so I won’t… But if I had one more wish to spend, I’d make this night last forever.

Chapter Thirteen

I waited so long for someone to love. Now I’m making up for lost time. Two weeks have passed since Tim and I started having sex. I’m so horny for him that it’s crazy. No one I messed around with before can compete. I only found a couple of them attractive. Mostly it was the excitement of getting to touch another guy that appealed to me. Everything is different with Tim. All he has to do is smile to get me in the mood. Or sometimes he’ll whisper in my ear, making my skin tingle.Wanna mess around?He showed up at my house the other day, sauntered over to the couch, and sat back with a seductive smirk. I literally ran around to lock doors and pull curtains before kneeling before him. And it’s never one-sided. He seems just as interested in me.

I can’t get enough. Tim stayed at my place for another sleepover, my parents none the wiser. Now I’m actually glad I cried in front of my mother. She thinks I’m wallowing in unrequited love, when in truth, my heart is soaring through the sky. And sometimes creeping through someone else’s house late at night. I’ve done that a few times now, certain that I would be caught on my way up to Tim’s bedroom, but somehow that only makes it hotter. This whole sneaking around thing is kind of fun!

Usually.

While sitting at our table in the school cafeteria, it’s hard not to feel envious at times. Allison and Ronnie are officially a couple. They always sit on the same side, their bodies touching in little ways. I watch Allison lean against Ronnie after he says something funny and notice how he continues smiling when she sits upright again. The guy next to me has dreads and smells faintly of cannabis. As likable as Leon is, I can’t help imagining what it would be like if Tim was sitting there instead. I’d feed him one potato chip after another, or let my hand go wandering beneath the table, or ask him to describe everything I’m eatingen españoljust to hear the delectable accent he always slips into.

“Do I have something on my face?” Leon asks, sounding worried.

I realize I’ve been staring at him and feign concern. “Yeah, but I think it’s supposed to be there.” I reach up to touch my nose. “Oh god… I have one too!”

Leon laughs. “We have to get stoned together, my man. You’re a riot!”

The compliment is appreciated, but if Tim was sitting with us, I could be racking up points with him instead. I can’t stop thinking about him during lunch, so after the bell rings and we leave the cafeteria as a group, I give in to temptation.

“Mind if we take a quick detour?” I ask, slowing at the next corner.

“I’ve gotta swing by my locker,” Leon says. “See you guys later.”

I watch him bump fists with Ronnie, who would follow Allison into the desert without so much as a thimble of water, if that’s what she wanted. I‘m on high alert as we wander down a hall lined with science classrooms that none of us attend this period. The traffic flowing toward the cafeteria is what interests me. The school has alternating lunch breaks. Tim and his friends should be heading there now, if we haven’t already missed them.

Ronnie says something to me, but I miss it since I’ve just spotted Tim, who is flanked by Bryce and Krista. As usual, she’s wrapped around one of his arms. That’s okay. He’ll make eye contact with me and nod, or more likely risk a naughty smirk, considering we just messed around the night before. Except this time, he’s more distracted than ever. Krista seems excited about something.

“Really?” she asks, letting go of him. “This weekend?”

“Yeah,” Tim says, his smile faltering when he finally notices me. “Of course.”

“Hooray!” Krista shouts, bouncing around like a rabbit before using the extra height to kiss him. “You’re the best boyfriend ever!”

His eyes dart toward me and away again before he focuses on Krista, who wraps herself around his arm again. If I had a crowbar, I’d pry her off and chase her down the goddamn hall. I can feel my face burning as we pass Tim and his friends. My own are silent, but only at first.

“I thought he was your boyfriend,” Ronnie says, seeming genuinely confused.

“Shut up!” Allison hisses, swatting him on the arm.

“It’s okay,” I mumble, my face still flushed. “We haven’t made it official yet.”