Page 69 of When Ben Loved Tim

“Uh-huh. And if we have a girl, I’ll name her Krista.”

“Shut up!” I laugh while checking our surroundings. “We have to be careful. She’s in economics with me.”

“That’s right!” Allison says. “Oh my god, that must be awkward.”

I shrug. “We sit on opposite sides of the room.”

“And on the same guy’s lap.” She sticks out her tongue.

“Not true,” I reply with exaggerated confidence. “He only comes tomyhive when needing honey.” I drop the act. “And um… I still haven’t sat on anything.”

“Me neither,” Allison admits. “But lately I’ve been thinking that Ronnie might be the one.”

My mouth falls open. “Are you going to sleep with him?”

“Not anytime soon,” Allison replies. “But he sure is sweet. I’m thinking of introducing him to my dad.”

I wince at the idea. “Are you sure? That’s never gone well before.”

“I know,” she says with a grimace.

Her dad is very protective of her. When it comes to other guys, at least. I still remember the time she got in trouble for sneaking out and ended up with circular bruises on her arms from where he grabbed her too hard. That sort of thing keeps me up at night. Allison claims that he only gets like that when he’s been drinking too much, but his benders seem to happen with increasing frequency.

“It’ll be okay,” she says, noticing my concern as we stop near my classroom door. “Ronnie is a charmer. He’ll win my dad over.”

“Just have him take you on a date to the zoo first,” I suggest.

“Why?”

“So he can practice taming a lion. The meanest, hungriest one they have.”

“My dad is more like a grizzly bear,” Allison says before nudging me. I follow her gaze to where Krista is walking with a group of cheerleaders. She detaches herself from her friends, all smiles until she has to walk past us into the classroom. Krista’s expression sours as she brushes at the side of her hair and uses her hand to intentionally block us from view.

“Ugh!” Allison says when we’re alone again. “Do you realize that there’s only one degree of separation between your lips and hers?”

“Don’t remind me,” I mutter.

“Maybe it’s time for an ultimatum.”

I shake my head. “It won’t mean anything if I force it. He just needs more time.”

“He’ll get a swift kick in the butt from me if he’s two-timing you both,” Allison says.

She’s not trying to rain on my parade. The concern we feel for each other comes from the heart. I feel a little irritated anyway after we hug and say goodbye, because experience has taught me that Allison is usually right. Although being with Tim feels so good that I’m willing to delude myself. I guess that’s been the theme since the beginning. And it sure has paid off! More than I ever expected.

I take my seat and zone out while staring through a drizzle-speckled window. The gray day begins to match my mood. Most of the teacher’s lecture is lost on me as I imagine not having to share Tim with anyone. No beautiful blond cheerleaders or regressively religious parents. I make him an orphan in my mind, one who needs all the love he lost replaced by a single person. I could do that for him. If only he would let me. Wait, what if I already don’t give him enough? Maybe he needs Krista more than he lets on.

“Once everyone has chosen a partner,” the teacher says, “discuss which topic you’d like to report on for this project and let me know.”

Everyone around me is standing up. I literally have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing, other than choosing a partner. Which gives me an idea. I push away from my desk and hustle over to Krista, who remains seated, like she expects people to come to her. Anyone but yours truly, judging from the way she leans left and right in an attempt to see past me.

“Hey,” I say while intentionally blocking her view. “Let’s be partners.”

Krista stares at me in disbelief. “You can’t be serious!”

“Why not?” I challenge.

“Because you’re—” She makes apfftnoise and rolls her eyes. “You wouldn’t understand.”