Page 91 of What He Always Knew

“No, you need to hear this.”

He didn’t sit back down, but he did turn again, his eyes finding mine.

“I love him, Cameron. I do. And I know that hurts to hear me say,” I said, feeling the pain of those words as much as Cameron seemed to.

His bottom lip trembled and he bit it hard, willing it to stop.

“And he saved me when he came back to town. He woke me up from the daze I’d been walking in, from the horrible life I was living, pretending it was enough. I was miserable, Cam. I wasdying.”

Cameron’s jaw clenched.

Just as much as my life had been killing me, my words were doing the same to him, now.

“He showed me what life could be like with him, with a restart, with a new beginning. He brought passion back into my life, made me feel wanted again, needed,desired.And more than anything, he made me feel like I deserved to live a better life. He made me feel like I could be happy again — and that I deserved to be.”

“You do deserve to be happy,” Cameron said, his voice breaking. “And I’m sorry I didn’t make you happy. I’m sorry I let that go, that I letyougo. I will never forgive myself for abandoning you when you needed me most. I made a promise to you,” he choked. “And I couldn’t keep it. My word means nothing.”

“Stop,” I said, standing with him. I wrapped my arms around him, but he wouldn’t hold me in return. He just stood like a statue in my grasp, his shoulders tense, two tears falling parallel to each other down each of his cheeks.

“I failed you,” he whispered.

“You did,” I said, my eyes searching his. “But I failed you, too.”

Cameron shook his head.

“I did. Just as you leaned on Natalia, I let Reese in when I should have come to you, instead. We both betrayed each other, as much as that hurts to admit. We messed up. We did. And honestly, when you told me you wanted more time, a chance to win me back, I thought it was a waste. I thought I’d be counting down the days, wishing for it all to be over so I could leave once and for all.”

Emotion surged through me, along with the realization that it didn’t matter if the words were right or not, as long as they were from the heart.

“But, I stand here in front of you humbled and thankful that you begged me for that chance, that you didn’t let me go, that you didn’t give up on me,” I said. “Because you opened my eyes to the one thing I’d somehow forgotten, the one thing I’d lost sight of.”

Cameron’s eyes flicked between mine, a flash of hope lighting them from the inside out.

“We have hurt each other, we have failed in so many ways,” I said, grabbing his arms and placing them around me. I laced my own around his neck. “But you are my husband. You are the man I love, the man I promised forever to. Through thick and thin, for better or for worse. I love you, Cameron, with every fucked-up, shattered piece of my heart. And it is shattered,” I told him. “And I am broken. But it’s you who makes me whole. It’s you who I cannot live without. And I’m sorry I ever made you doubt that, that I ever made you believe I could walk away from this, from us, fromyou.”

“What are you saying?” Cameron asked, his hands trembling where they held me. “Do you… are you saying you choose me?”

I smiled, tears still blurring my vision as I nodded. “I choose you, Cameron.”

He broke at my words, his arms crushing me in his grip as I leaned into him. He pulled back with his hands framing my face, his eyes searching mine like he didn’t believe me.

“You choose me?”

“I choose you,” I repeated. “Just like I did the night we made our vows, just like I should have done when we faced our first challenge. The truth is, you make me forget I evenhavea choice at all. Like the writer who cannot live without the reader, and the rose that cannot exist without the rain, I am bound to you, to your love, and I cannot go on without it.”

Cameron blinked, a new set of tears racing down in the trail made by the first.

“It’s you,” I said. “It always has been, it always will be, and from this moment on, I will choose you. Every day, every minute, every second of my life.” My voice broke as I cried, but I didn’t fight against the emotion. “If you will let me, if you will choose me, too — then I am yours forever, and I will love you the same.”

He laughed, pressing his lips to mine as he shook his head. “As if I have a choice. As if I ever did after the moment I first met you.”

Cameron kissed me harder, his entire body surrounding me, arms pulling me close like he was afraid I’d disappear if he didn’t root me to him.

“I can’t explain how I feel right now,” he said between kisses. “I believed in my heart that you would come home to me, but after last night, I knew nothing for sure. The longer I packed, the more I waited for you to come, the more I thought you wouldn’t. I don’t deserve you,” he said, pulling back to frame my face again. His eyes flicked between mine. “But I will spend the rest of my life making you happy. I promise you that.”

I wrapped my arms around him, resting my cheek on his shoulder as he squeezed me tight.

“I’m so sorry, Cameron,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for walking out on you, for finding comfort in the arms of someone else. It’smewho doesn’t deserve you. But I want you, and I will do whatever I can to be the woman who does deserve your love.”