Page 22 of What He Always Knew
“Forever.”
“Charlie…”
She huffed, finally looking at me as she stood straight with the new pile of workbooks tucked under one arm. “What do you want, Reese?”
“I want to explain.”
“Explain what? Your girlfriend? Like I said, I think I’ve got the picture.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“Blonde hair, big boobs, legs for days. You guys met at a bar on karaoke night, you’ve been dating foryears. I think that’s plenty of knowledge.”
“She was there for me,” I said loudly, cutting Charlie’s rampage off. I paused, watching her eyes with my own, begging them to hear me. “When… after my family died, she was there. She saw me at my worst, Charlie, and yes, I loved her. I still do. I always will. But not like that.” I swallowed. “Not like you.”
“And how do you love me?”
“With every beat of my stupid, fucked-up, irresponsible heart.”
I held her gaze, but no sign of warmth passed her features. She simply watched me until I patted the tiny chair next to me, signaling her to join me.
She blew out a sigh, shaking her head as she let the workbooks hit the table with a slap. Then, she sat next to me, though she looked like she actually fit in the chair that made me look like an overgrown clown.
“What were you going to do?” she asked. “Did you just…leaveher in New York City? Did you just assume she’d know it was over?”
“Honestly?” I asked. “In a way, yes.”
Charlie grimaced, but I reached for her hand, and when our skin finally connected after so long of being apart, I know she felt the spark, too. She calmed, waiting for me to continue as my thumb rubbed the palm of her hand.
“Look, Blake and I… we were always complicated. For years, it was so casual I honestly just thought we’d always be friends. We hooked up sometimes, but even then, it was primitive. It was just… I don’t know, there were no feelings attached. We took what we needed from each other, and then we’d gomonthswithout even so much as a text message.”
Charlie was so stiff under my touch, like she didn’t trust it anymore. I hoped my words would thaw that ice around her heart once more.
“But when my family died, Blake was there. She was theonlyone there. She helped me handle everything, Charlie — the funeral, their will, my inheritance, my apartment, all my bills. She even called my bosses for me, both at the restaurants I worked at and at Juilliard. And she made sure I ate, made sure I didn’t just exist on cigarettes and whiskey.” I paused. “She loved me. And she was the first one to ever tell me that, not just with her words, but with her actions, too.”
I shrugged, memories of Blake holding me in the dark resurfacing. I could still smell the shampoo she used then, could feel her small hands on my shoulders and back, her lips on my forehead.
“And yes, I loved her. I still do. But when I left New York, neither one of us knew what we wanted. She works for one of the fitness magazines based in the city, in social media, and she loves it. Even though she can do her job remotely the way she is while she’s here right now, she didn’t want topermanentlyleave New York City, and I never would have asked her to. I was looking for a new start, anyway.”
Charlie lifted one brow. “So, you moved away, and she stayed, and no one asked the question, ‘What happens now?’”
“I know it sounds crazy,” I admitted. “But that’s just how we are. We don’t ask questions like that. We don’t talk about feelings or future plans. We just figure it out as we go. So, when I left, I think we both had this sort of mutual understanding. We’d keep in touch, but past that?” I shrugged. “There was nothing really to say.”
“Except that there was,” Charlie argued. “Because she showed up on your doorstep two months after you moved thinking she was still your girlfriend.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Yeah, well, she’s going through something. Her dad is in the hospital here in Pittsburgh, something about a brain tumor they found. They’re not sure how serious anything is yet but… I guess she needed me.”
Charlie’s eyes finally softened at that, and I squeezed her hand, praying to any god that would listen for her to believe the next words out of my mouth.
“I care about her, Charlie. And I want to be there for her the way she was for me. But, she’s not my girlfriend — not the way she thinks. And I promise I will clear that up and I will tell her about you, when the time is right.”
“When the time is right,” she deadpanned.
“Yes. And I don’t see any sense in rushing that, seeing as how you’ve given Cameron his time. Am I right?”
Charlie narrowed her eyes then, pulling her hand from mine. “Don’t turn this on me. I was honest with you when I agreed to give Cameron time, and it shouldn’t have mattered, not if what we’d felt was so solid. But you lied to me, Reese. How could I ever trust you now?”
“Has Cameron never lied to you?” I deflected. “You gave him your trust when he didn’t deserve it. At least give me the chance to earn it back, too.”