Page 45 of What He Always Knew

But it was him.

It was the lost boy I wanted to save when I was younger, the man I wanted to find home in now. It was the way he listened to me, the way he knew exactly what to say, the way he understood what I never had to explain.

Reese was my jagged little pill, one I wanted to swallow eagerly.

But unlike that first night Reese had touched me, Cameron still lived within my heart tonight, too. And it was the flash of his smile in the car on the way to Garrick that zapped me back to reality.

“Stop,” I said, eyes popping open as I pressed my hands into Reese’s chest.

He pulled back, smirking before his lips found mine again. He thought it was a game, a sexy round of cat and mouse. But I had to get out. I had to get air.

I had to get space.

“NO!”

This time, I pushed hard enough for his grip to weaken, and he dropped me gently to the floor with his face screwed up in confusion.

“Are you okay? I was just—”

“I have to go.”

“Charlie.”

I scrambled for my robe at his feet, tucking it haphazardly around me and fumbling with the door knob until I finally yanked it open.

“Charlie, wait!”

But I was already in the hall, and in the next instant, I pushed through my room door, slapping the lock stopper out of the way and shutting the door firmly behind me. I fell against it, my breaths erratic, and I jumped when Reese knocked.

“Come on, Charlie. Let me in,” he begged, his voice muffled through the door. “Talk to me, for Christ’s sake.”

I backed away, still watching the door like he’d somehow find a way inside.

“He doesn’t love you,” he said after a moment. “Not the way I do. I know you know that. He’s inside your head, your heart, but only because he lost you. It took that — losing you — for him to wake up and try to be what you deserve, Charlie.”

He paused, and I stared at the peep hole on the door, wondering what he looked like in that moment.

“He’s giving you everything right now, and I’m sure he’s making you feel more than you have in years. But he’s only making you feel that way because he wants you to stay. The question is, will he still make you feel this way, will he still treat you the same once he has you again?”

An ache surged through me, and I closed my eyes tight against the tears that threatened to fall.

I thought he was done, but Reese lowered his voice a little more before he asked just one final question.

“If you stay, and he goes back to the husband you’ve had for the past five years, will it be enough?”

My face warped, fighting against the emotion building in me. I felt Reese on the other end of the door, begging me to open it for him, but after a moment, I heard a sigh before his door opened and closed with a soft latch.

I cried, falling to the floor with my hands still clutching my robe as I tried to catch my breath. My heart thumped loudly in my ears where my head hung between my shoulders, each beat separating another thought as they ripped through me.

Thump.

What is wrong with me?

Thump.

Who have I become?

Thump.