Page 50 of What He Always Knew

Yes, the rain took all that had weighed on me that weekend, but in turn, it revealed the sinner who lived beneath that weight. Everything I felt was wrong, every kiss was a sin, every touch a transgression. And I couldn’t even find it in me to pray for forgiveness.

I would take whatever punishment would come for my crime, because the truth was as clear as the sky once the rain subsided.

I wasn’t sorry at all.

And I didn’t want to quit Reese Walker.

Cameron

Charlie thought I cheated on her.

She wasn’t the only one. I wasn’t naïve enough to think word hadn’t spread around the office, and perhaps around the town — seeing as how Reid’s Energy Solutions was so involved in the community. I imagined even Charlie’s father knew, though he’d never confront me. Maxwell Reid knew more than he should about everyone who worked for him, but he was a man of respect and privacy.

Everyone thought they know the real story, and I hadn’t even tried to correct them. I hadn’t even tried to explain the truth to Charlie, because in my mind, none of it mattered.

I had still hurt her, no matter what the circumstances actually were.Thatwas what mattered, and that was what I’d always told myself.

But Patrick had a different theory.

He wanted me to tell Charlie the truth — all of it — every single detail of what happened between me and Natalia. It was uncomfortable enough for me to even talk to him about her, let alone to Charlie. Just the thought of it made me want to jump in front of a bus.

“She deserves to know the truth,” Patrick had said at our session that Friday. It was the day after Charlie left for the conference. The day after she left to spend an entire weekend withhim. “Let her be the one to decide if the truth makes a difference in how she feels or not.”

In a way, I understood what he meant. Perhaps Charlie would see it differently, and maybe she would actually forgive me — butIwould never forgive me. That was the truth of it. No matter how anyone else saw it or what they believed, I had still hurt my wife. I’d betrayed her trust. I’d broken my vows.

There was no excuse for that. No valid one, anyway.

Still, I replayed the words I’d say to Charlie as I put the finishing touches on my project for the weekend. I hoped it would show her my love, what my hands had built, and that my words would bring clarity to a time we never discussed.

I built her an aviary.

Charlie had let Jane go free, but I knew in her heart that it killed her. I knew she missed Jane and Edward both, and that our house had felt a bit empty since they’d gone.

Charlie was a woman of simple pleasures — she loved her books, her garden, her birds, and, for reasons unknown, me. I couldn’t bring Jane or Edward back, but I could give her new birds to love, and a new place to find peace in our home.

I’d thought of just getting her two Budgies again, but I knew I could never replace Jane and Edward.

So, instead, I’d built a large aviary downstairs in our sun room.

It took up half the room now, the other half housing a bright couch, matching chair, and glass table Charlie had picked out when we first bought the house. I’d started building the aviary the second Charlie left on Thursday, forgoing work on both Thursday and Friday to spend the time I needed to complete it before she got home. Perks of not taking vacation time in years was that I had plenty to spare, and thankfully, my boss hadn’t questioned my frequent use of it recently.

Maybe he knew Charlie was cheating on me, too.

Regardless, I’d spent the entire weekend bringing my vision for the aviary to life, and I couldn’t wait for Charlie to see it. It was just as grand as I’d imagined, spanning from floor to ceiling, the welding wire stretching over the rustic metal framing I’d selected to give it a modern feel.

There was a small hammock inside, one Charlie could lie or sit in as her birds flew around her, and the sun shone through the glass ceiling of that room in such a way that I knew would bring a smile to Charlie’s face every morning. I’d filled the aviary with plush greenery and branches for the birds, as well as several nest boxes, and the last and final touch had been to get her very first birds.

Two Bengalese finches.

They twittered around me as I set up the last perch inside the aviary, and when it was complete, I sat in the hammock, watching them flit around from branch to branch in their new home.

I read when researching the aviary that keeping a single pet finch happy and healthy was nearly impossible. They thrived in pairs or groups, always needing the love and company of another to keep them satisfied.

I could relate.

The thought of losing Charlie was one I never liked to dwell on, but it was impossible to avoid that weekend. I knew she was with Reese, on a beach, in another state, far,faraway from me. I could only hope that our weekend together was still fresh in her mind, that she believed the words I’d said to her, that she felt my love the way I’d always felt hers.

But I also knew there was a part of her that would never trust me again, part of her that had forgiven me, but would never forget what I did.