Page 76 of What He Always Knew

“If you’ll all make your way back to your seats, we’ll be starting the award ceremony shortly. But, before we do, I’d like to thank our sponsors for the evening…”

Mr. Henderson continued, the dance floor clearing as everyone found their seats, but before Charlie could make her way back to her table, I grabbed her wrist and tugged her in the opposite direction.

“What are you doing?” she whisper-yelled.

But I didn’t answer. It was all I could do to smile at people as we passed, putting on whatever show I still had to give. I didn’t care what anyone thought. I had to have her alone.

The gala was hosted on the top floor of one of the hotels downtown, and I pulled Charlie through the doors that led to the rooftop garden. Mr. Henderson’s voice was muffled as soon as the door closed behind us, and we were the only ones outside, everyone else already back at their tables to await the ceremony.

“We can’t be out here,” Charlie said, pulling her wrist free. “They’re about to do the awards.”

“I don’t care.”

I grabbed her hands in mine, pulling her behind one of the large trees that the garden lights hung from. It was a bit chilly that evening, though the days had brought spring on in full force. Charlie shivered once we were blocked from the view of the ballroom, and I stripped off my tuxedo jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders.

“Reese, we have to go back inside.”

“Not yet,” I argued. “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

Charlie pressed her fingers to her temple. “Please, Reese. Let’s talk about this later. I don’t feel well, and—”

“It’s been two months,” I interrupted, waiting until she looked at me to say my next sentence. “Just tell him goodbye. Tell him it’s over.”

Charlie looked so small in that moment, wrapped in my jacket, her breath escaping her painted lips in little puffs of white. Her brows drew inward, her arms crossing over one another as she looked down at my shoes.

“Damn it, Charlie, tell him it’s over. Tell him the truth!”

“What, like you’ve told Blake?” she shot back, her eyes hard on mine again.

“I’ll tell her right now. Tonight. You want me to go get her and bring her out here? Because I will. I’ll do it.” I started for the door, but Charlie stopped me, pressing one tiny hand into my chest.

“Don’t be stupid,” she whispered.

“I’m not, I’m being serious.” I held her small arms in my hands, catching her gaze with mine. “I will tell her right now, Charlie. I want you. I want to be withyou.”

Her lip quivered, but she looked up at the lights above us to force a calming breath. I let her capture it, watching the emotions wash across her face. I wanted to kiss her more than I could say, more than I wanted almost anything in the world — other than to hear her say she loved me, that she chose me, that it was all over and we could be together.

“I want to be with you,” I repeated, stepping into her.

I slid one hand into her hair, and she leaned into the touch with a sigh. I wished I could hold her like that forever, that I could have her in my hands that way and know I didn’t have to memorize the feel of her because there was no guarantee I’d touch her like that again.

I dropped my forehead to hers, our lips just inches apart, and I breathed in her scent before I asked the only question that mattered.

“Do you want to be with me?”

Charlie’s face twisted, her hands reaching out to fist in my dress shirt, and I heard the sound of my own heart crack when she spoke again.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” I asked, pulling back from her. I searched her eyes, confusion sinking into me right along with the overwhelming urge to jump off the roof. “You don’tknow?”

“I don’t know!” she said louder, pushing away from me. She turned, pacing toward the city with her thumbnail in between her teeth, and I stared at the silhouette of her against those lights like I was in the middle of a bad dream.

“You do know,” I argued. “You know, Charlie. You love me. I know you do. Youloveme, damn it.”

“I do!” she turned, her hands outstretched toward me as tears flooded her eyes. “But, I love him, too. And I just… I can’t… this is all too much. Everything I thought, it’s all just… it’s amess.My whole life is upside down and I can’t see or make sense of anything.”

Her words stumbled into each other, they fell out of her mouth so fast, and her breaths were as unsteady as the heartbeat under my ribs.