Page 81 of What He Always Knew

“Regardless of which one you choose to be with, or if you choose to be completely on your own without either one of them, that baby is going to be born, and it’s going to live, and it’s going to have the happiest life any baby has ever had because you’re its mother.”

I smiled, rubbing my belly as my brother searched my eyes.

“And if you do decide to be with Cameron, or with Reese, I know without a doubt that both men would step up and be a great father right alongside you.”

“But what if I choose the man who isn’t the baby’s father,” I counteracted. “What then?”

“If you’re upfront with the man you choose, then they will have that decision to make, just like you had this one. And, if it’s the right man, then he won’t give a damn.”

I sighed, blinking away the tears. “I can’t believe this is my life. I can’t believe this is me, Charlie Pierce, sitting on a park bench telling her brother she had an affair and is pregnant with a baby whose dad can’t be determined.”

“Yet,” Graham said. “Can’t be determined yet. But you can take a test, Charlie. And you’ll know one day. And until then, you need to focus on what you want — on who you want. Which man do you see the rest of your life with?” He tapped my nose. “That’s what you need to figure out.”

I shook my head, my heart aching with the tear in it stretching longer and wider. “I can’t believe you didn’t berate me when I told you. I can’t believe you didn’t call me a cheating floozie.”

“Well, no one says floozie,” he said, and I laughed, shoving his shoulder again. “But also, you’re my sister, and we all make mistakes. I’m not judging you, I’m just here to listen. And to hopefully help a little.”

I sank down on the bench, resting the back of my head on the top of it as I stretched my legs out in front of me. It had to be a dream. It couldn’t possibly be my life I was talking about.

It couldn’t possibly be Charlie Pierce who was having an affair, who had to choose which man to be with and which one to break, who was pregnant by one of those men — who didn’t know which one.

But it was. I was living in what would have been a nightmare to me only months before, an unthinkable nightmare, and it was my reality now whether it was just as terrifying or not.

I rubbed my stomach, picturing a little boy who looked like Cameron, his same wide smile and sharp-edged nose. Would he play soccer, or hockey, like his dad? Would he be afraid to use his words, or would we bring him up in a loving home that showed him he could always be open and honest and communicate?

Or what if it was a girl, one who looked just like Reese — her eyes bright green, her hair long, curly, and unruly just like his. Would she play an instrument, possibly the piano, like him? Would she brighten up the world with her laughter and love? Would she be a little trouble maker, one who eventually grew to teach — just like her parents?

I smiled, still rubbing my stomach, loving both of those possibilities. I could never know which would come true, which child I would give birth to, but there was one decision I could make. There was one path in my life that I would set forth, that I would make happen — all by a choice I would make by the end of this day.

I still loved them both, Cameron and Reese, and I felt as torn between the two of them as I had before I’d even given in to Reese, at all. Maybe it was even more so, now that Cameron had opened up and let me in, now that I’d had a snapshot of what my life could be like with Reese.

How was it possible that they both loved me, that they both wanted me, desired me? They wanted meso muchthat they put themselves through what I imagined to be the most torturous months of their lives, knowing when I was with the other, still waiting for me, for my choice.

But, Cameron had stormed away from me last night, and we hadn’t spoken since. I hoped to see him later at the groundbreaking of Jeremiah’s new house, but I couldn’t be sure. And I had pushed Reese away, begging him for space, for time, only to discover this morning that my suspicion of being pregnant was true.

Would either of them even have me now? Now that there was more at stake, that there was an unborn baby with an unknown father… could they love me still?

Graham’s hand on mine brought me back to the park, and I sighed, squeezing his in return.

“So, did I?” he asked. “Did I help at all?”

I nodded, a slight smile on my lips before it fell away. “You did, big bro. You did.”

But the truth covered us there on that bench like a hot, weighted blanket — one too heavy to ignore.

I could talk to as many people as I wanted, and I could torture myself with thoughts and memories, with my “what ifs” and “almosts,” but I still had a decision to make.

I still had a heart to break.

And no one could help me now.

Reese

The morning of Charlie’s decision, I sat on my couch with Blake, staring at my hands while she stared at me.

It had been a long night. I’d figured after the gala, Blake would have packed up her things and left. But instead, she was waiting for me when I got home with a bottle of gin and about a million questions. Neither of us had slept more than a few hours, and those hours had been spent tossing and turning through fitful dreams.

I couldn’t guess what hers were about, though I imagined her father and I both were present. In mine, though, it was Charlie. It was only Charlie, just like it had been since I’d shown back up in Mount Lebanon.