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fifty-seven

Carnaxa

I t is nice to walk the halls of my home, but even nicer to be back in my room. Even if it lacks the personal touches I took with me to Shaston, this is my sanctuary. This room holds so many memories, a place I thought I would never see again. The white and blue marble is cold as I kick off the thick boots that I’ve become accustomed to wearing. As I walk, I stretch my toes and let out a deep sigh, feeling relieved as I take off my leathers. I spot a forgotten night gown in a shade of purple and quickly grab it. The barely-lit room is filled with the refreshing sweep of salty air as I gaze ahead. Ereon stands outside on my balcony, gripping the railing as he looks up to the moon.

He found out tonight that most of his life was a lie. His hair is ragged from having his fingers brush through it so many times. He still wears his Shastonian armor. I walk up and wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his back. I take a deep breath, and it suddenly makes sense. How he has always been a cooling presence, his smell of citrus and rain. I thought he was just unique, but no, his blood hails from the same kingdom as mine.

His hands come down and hold mine in place across his waist, his thumb idly grazing the back of my fingers.

“I can’t help but think how things could have been different if —” He cuts himself off and straightens up. “It doesn’t matter.” He releases my hands and turns to face me.

I cup his cheek with my palm. “You don’t have to hide from me. Not here, not after everything,” I say.

Ereon looks down at me and his lips meet mine. Words that can’t be said flow between us. He lifts me up by the back of my legs, placing me in front of him on the railing, my legs parting to accommodate him. He breaks our kiss and looks past me to the sea and the rings of Antalis beyond.

“I just can’t help but wonder how much my life would have been different if I would have been raised here.” He looks at me again as his hand lightly moves my night dress upwards. His thumb stops at the burn mark of the serpent on my thigh. “Would I have done what I did to you? ”

I gently press my finger against his lips, silencing his words, and shake my head. “Our love isn’t one of dreams, but it is ours. I would never wish it to be different.”

Looking back at me, his fingers lace through my hair. “You know, when I took you away from here, I saw how the people loved you, how much you would be missed. I knew what they thought of me. I even said it to myself. I was ‘a prince of darkness taking away their princess of light.’ How can you not wish your life was different? Thylas was made for you just as much as I was, and you should have been here with him. He would have never ...”

“That’s enough.” My voice is louder than I expected. “We will not do this. We did what we had to, just like we will continue to do. I love you and I love Thylas. Nothing — not even him performing the neni — is going to change that.”

“You can still feel the twin drop with him?”

“No, there is a hollowness in my chest, but I trust in him. I know he is a bit lost right now, but I know he will find himself again.” I push Ereon’s brown hair behind his shoulders. “I have to believe all of this is a part of a bigger plan than even we realize.”

He pulls my hips closer to him, his desire apparent. “So you still think there is a chance for you and him? Even after …”

I wrap my legs around him. “I do, and I won’t stop believing until all of what is before us is finished. I know he is not in full control of himself right now, and I can’t fully fault him for his actions. Does that upset you? Do you still want me if I choose him too?” I bite my lip, worrying about his answer .

He pulls my face closer, but a breath away from him, his fingers grazing down the side of my neck before returning to my hip. “Nothing will keep me from wanting you, Ryehro . Whatever choice you decide, I’ll be at your side. I promised you my heart, my body, and my soul but it’s more than that for me, my queen.” The faint scent of citrus and rain wraps around me as he whispers against my lips, “I call you my queen not because you will rule one day, but because you have already been ruling me. I pledge to you everything I have and ever will have. If having Thylas in your life is what you want, then he will be in mine as well.”

Without hesitation, his arms encircle me. The salty air swirls around us as the moon casts a glow overhead. We become lost in each other as I shuffle down his leathers and he finds himself inside me. Our moans merge with the waves that crash against the shores. I know things are coming. The prophecy is yet to be fulfilled, but I know that as long as he is at my side, we have nothing to fear.

My mother’s voice calls to me, awakening me once again in this eternal darkness. “It’s almost time, Daughter. Don’t be afraid when the time comes. I have enough magic that it won’t be the end, but a beginning.”

I run my hands along the fabric of my night dress. I remember losing it somewhere on the balcony with Ereon; I smile to myself, at least I’m wearing something in my dream. “What must I do? Why me? ”

“Because to stop the cycle of Khaysus, history must be repeated once more. But you are stronger than me — you will be the one to change the world.”

I roll my eyes at her vagueness; I have so many questions I want answered, so many things I must know. She flickers from view and I can tell that I am going back to my body, but one question comes to the forefront of my mind. Before I can stop the words from leaving my lips and before she can begin to tell me whatever it is she called me here for, I ask, “Why did you let Thylas perform the neni ?”

“Thylas has his own fate to claim now, my Daughter.”

“So why bless him with the hope of a twin drop?”

“Because of my love for you. From a young age he followed you like you were his reason for existing. I knew of his bloodline and I thought if I could bless him first, I could save him. He was just a boy when he washed ashore, I wanted the very best for him.” She shakes her head. “I doubted the power that is raging inside of him.”

“You could have ignored the neni though ... why didn’t you?” I don’t know when it started, but I suddenly realize I’m crying. The tears stream down my face as I try to understand everything that is happening now, along with the past that she speaks of.

“It was his choice to make. But also, his connection with the power inside of him was affecting you.” She smiles sadly at me. “Those thoughts that crept into your mind — full of doubt and hatred and anger — they weren’t yours. Just as you can use Ereon’s powers via the twin drop — you were connected to Thylas the same way. Khaysus used the drop as a way to manipulate your mind. I couldn’t watch you suffer anymore with negative thoughts and confusion, along with all the things he made you believe as well as forget. The only way I could protect you was to allow him to follow his own path.”

“Naxa!” Siphonie’s yelling wakes me from the dreamwalk with my mother. “Your father —”

She doesn’t have to finish her sentence before I am unwrapping myself from Ereon’s embrace and searching for more forgotten clothing. I find a white dress that easily slips over my curves. Ereon tugs on his leather pants and grabs a green tunic — I’m assuming must be Rhenor’s — from Siphonie.

“Eldoris says it won’t be long.” Her words come out broken as she fights back tears.

We run down the corridors to my father’s chambers. He looks up at the ceiling, his eyes glassy and red streaked as he struggles for breath. I sprint to his side, grabbing his hand.

“Father,” I cry into his chest as his breath rattles beneath me. “Don’t leave me.”

My father’s hand tightens around my own. “Don’t cry for me ... your mother” — he takes a shaky breath — “she’s waiting for me. How I long to see her again.”

Ereon rubs his hand down my back, and I can hear Siphonie’s cries on the other side of his bed. My father, while we might not have always seen eye to eye, is still the man who playfully chased me down the corridors. The man who cleaned my knees when I scraped them up doing something I was told not to do. The one who was supposed to be here for much longer. I watch as he succumbs to the deluc, the plague my mother unintentionally initiated against her own people to begin the cycle of the prophecy that we are all currently experiencing.

My father’s hand falls against the back of my head as I weep into his chest. I can’t look at him. I foolishly hope that the longer I sit here and pray, the longer we will keep his death at bay. His hand softly swipes back and forth, still comforting his daughter like he did when I feared the thunderstorms outside as a child. I let his movements remind me of the memories we’ve shared. The ones with Mother and the ones without. The way he always laughed when I would do things I shouldn’t or how he always made time to listen to me complain about Thylas or Siphonie. I lose myself in those thoughts and then his hand drops. The rise and fall of his chest ceases, leaving a stillness in the air.