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forty-one

Thylas

" W hy didn’t it work?” I yell to Anara, who sits cross-legged on my bed. I came back into the tent moments ago.

Rhenor is furious with me, and I guess I should have expected that, he’s usually the one to keep a level head. I did something he strongly objects to. He has every right to be mad, especially since it didn’t work. “It had to have worked, right? I didn’t just break a twin drop for nothing, did I?” Unshed tears sting my eyes, but I won’t let them fall. Once again, I’m trying to do the right thing, only to realize I’m still not.

“Just ... breathe.” She’s still wrapped in my tunic. “Sometimes we do the wrong thing for the right reason.”

“I stayed away from her for so long.” I run my hands down my face. “I just thought … It’s too late now and it doesn't matter. Maybe I am the fool everyone believes me to be.” I wanted to believe if Carnaxa was no longer tied to me then she could have her memories back, but even if she did, the twin drop would be gone — what did I expect? Her to come running into my arms? That it would be the same as before? No, it couldn’t be.

Anara comes over and cups my cheek. “You are blinded by your emotions, but I wouldn’t call you a fool. You love her, and unrequited love is one of the most painful things to experience. There is no shame in trying to save her, but all our choices have consequences.”

Her hazel eyes search my own, as if she fully comprehends the gravity of what has occurred. With her dark hair gracefully falling onto her shoulders, I lightly run my fingers along her collarbone. Last night was a release we both needed. “I’m sorry for last night. I shouldn’t have.”

“Thylas, don’t apologize for something we both wanted. I’m far from being a lovesick girl. I know you will never love me as you do her, maybe not at all. If you don’t ask me for more, I won’t ask you either. We are exactly what we should be, broken souls using the other to piece together a resemblance of what we once were.” She looks at me with questioning eyes, she rises onto her toes, bringing her lips just inches away from mine.

She’s right. Every sexual position we could think of last night brought us everything we needed, with her against me, beneath me, and above me. Her flames ignited between us, but they didn’t burn my skin, and I don’t regret a moment of it. I bend down and gently brush my lips against hers, my cock already straining against the confines of my leathers.

In Antalis, I would often find myself in Chantara’s arms, hoping that Carnaxa would leave my mind. My thoughts have always been consumed by Carnaxa, until last night when for a few rare moments, Anara stole my focus. I deepen our kiss, savoring the taste of her lips and the way her body molds against mine as I lift her up and secure her legs around my waist. She twists her hands in my inky strands.

My fingers dig into the flesh of her thighs, as I turn us to the bed, the ground beneath us quivers. With one arm around her back, I secure her tightly against me, my other hand gripping the sturdy support beam in the middle of the tent. Anara wraps her arms around my neck, her body pressing close against mine, as the ground shudders below us. Pain radiates inside of me and it’s all I can do to keep us from falling. A searing pain courses through my chest, as if my ribcage is being torn apart. The shaking suddenly ceases, along with the pain, and Anara leans back, her eyes scanning our surroundings. I release her, and she regains her balance on the soft, plush white rug beneath us.

“What was that?” I ask. “Does this happen often here? ”

She shakes her head. “No ... it doesn’t.”

Men outside shout. The sounds of cries and shouted prayers are coming from every direction. Anara is already handing me my sword from beside the bed, I take it from her, putting it in the sheath at my waist. “Stay here.” I walk away but feel her right behind me. I pivot on my heels. “I’m serious, Anara. Stay here. Please, you don’t have your shackles.” I pull down the sleeve of my tunic to ensure that the missing cuff from my wrist won’t be noticed.

She debates my words, but nods her head. “Be careful.”

I bolt out of the tent and gasp at the sight. Above me, the colors of the rainbow encircle the sun once again, painting the now gray sky in a mesmerizing display. On the day of Carnaxa’s mother’s death, I thought we would never see them again. Some men are on their hands and knees, praying to the Goddess. Others are exclaiming it’s the end of the world.

A familiar lament catches my attention as Carnaxa stands outside her tent. Her arms high above her head, a triangle between her fingers as she worships the Goddess above. Between those fingers, though, something seems to move. I make my way towards her but stop as Ereon runs in her direction. He pulls her into his embrace, letting his fingers mess the cerulean strands at her crown. She pulls away before frantic whispers leave her lips. He’s shaking his head, but she’s twisting her head as if searching for someone.

“Ambassador Thylas, Prince Ereon is requesting your presence in the council tent. Men from the northern camp have just arrived.” A soldier of Ereon’s draws my attention, and I see the swelling of his bottom lip that still bleeds.

“Very well.” I look back to Carnaxa and Ereon, but someone else catches my eye as the soldier retreats from me. Standing before me, my father’s light blonde hair shields his blue gaze, fixed on the sun above. His eyes drop and lock with mine, a mischievous grin forming on his face. Reph Lismu turns and retreats inside the tent.

The man who tore me from my mother’s arms before killing her, according to King Atlas, will be just within my reach. Popping the knuckle of my forefinger, I stride towards the meeting, no longer the useless boy Reph once knew. My journey led me to become Captain of the Ke Neye , then Carnaxa’s personal guard, and finally King Clennom entrusted me with the role of Ambassador to Antalis. I’ve done admirably in my life, maybe even exceeding what I would have done in Shaston with Reph as my father. Fury takes over inside of me and I remember the truth of our situation. His status is beneath me, and I’ll make sure he knows it.

Ereon rushes to my side as I reach the tent’s entrance, grabbing onto my elbow. I glance behind him, looking to see if Carnaxa has followed.

“I already know he’s here. I saw him.” I readjust the sword on my hip and cross my arms in front of my chest.

“Who?” He looks around. “Oh, Rhenor, yes. I had him brought here too. I thought whatever it is, his presence and knowledge would be a benefit to the conversation.”

“No, not Rhenor, but it’s nice to know I’ll have another face that will stare at me in disgust. My father. ”

Ereon looks at me with confusion. “Your father?”

“Reph Lismu, he’s in the council tent.”

“That’s not what I was expecting ... but once we are finished here” — he looks behind me and then back at me — “all of us need to talk.”

Anxiety infiltrates my thinking. “If it’s related to this morning — “

“It’s not.” His voice’s volume drops. “Well, not all of it. Although, I would love to know what you were thinking. But right now, Carnaxa already knows something happened to her father. That’s what she was just yelling at me about.”

“What about the sun’s rings?” I glance up at the light still in the sky.

“I think ... that has something to do with her, too.” He bites the inside of his cheek as though deciding if he should tell me something. “I shouldn’t tell you — and I normally wouldn’t — but I know you would do nothing to hurt her, at least I once thought that.”

“What I did last night wasn’t to hurt her, it was to save her.” Ereon doesn’t truly grasp what the neni is, but him thinking I could ever hurt her has me grinding my teeth. My anger is absolutely making it hard to focus today, in fact it’s getting harder each day. “What’s wrong with her?”

“She thinks she has the madness.”

“She —” It’s then I remember the shimmering between her fingertips just earlier. The way she has behaved differently, and how Ereon and I were frozen in place. Anara can control the flames and yet Carnaxa controls …

“Are we going to have a meeting today or just stand here and stare at one another?” Rhenor comes outside of the tent. “I would really rather be anywhere else.”

Ereon and I exchange a nod, acknowledging that we will soon have a conversation, and then proceed inside the tent.

“Prince Ereon.” The men from the north, including my father, bow.

“This is Bel Rhenor and Ambassador Thylas, from Antalis,” Ereon says and I watch as my father straightens up. He looks over at me, and suddenly I feel like that small boy who was torn away from his home.

You do not show fear, when he should fear you.

I straighten my spine and stand beside Rhenor whose familiar presence helps keep me grounded. I’m glad he is here, even if he is still upset with me.

“Report,” Ereon says as he sits at the head of the table, the only seat here.

“The kukhe have advanced and are trying to take the northern camp. We left a small troop of the men behind, bringing the majority of soldiers here with us. We are urging you to return to the palace.”

“I thought the kukhe had been relatively quiet this season, what has changed?” Ereon asks.

“Unsure, Prince … they were quiet … until they weren’t. We don’t know how far behind us they are, as every scout that I sent out has yet to return.”

“Fuck.” Ereon runs a hand down his beard. “We need your men to travel with us to Antalis and Midaeliea. They need to help fight the deluc, the khind, and the madness that is happening.”

“Of course, we are at your command. We will gather our resources and speak when we arrive in Shaston,” Reph says smugly. He just effectively told Ereon that they will help after he gets permission from Atlas. There is no reason to stop, they could go now. Ereon doesn’t miss the insinuation as he stands up.

“You all are dismissed.”