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twenty-nine

Thylas

O ne Moon Cycle Ago

“Are you ready yet?” I bring Anara a glass of water as we sit inside my small tent on my bed. Times like this I almost wish I would have asked for a larger tent, but I’ve always shared Carnaxa’s when we traveled and so I wasn’t even sure what to ask for.

Tonight, I know what I saw. Anara held that flame, controlled it even, to help protect her — us. Her hazel eyes now shine with the green and brown battling for dominance. Is that fear? I’ve never seen this woman in the time I’ve been around her, have this look in her eyes. She takes the drink from my hands, swallowing it all down in one gulp.

“Depends ... how many do you plan to tell this to?”

“How many will it affect?”

She sighs before she relents, “Many.”

I look at her again and I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is. With her honey beige skin and dark brown hair, her eyes become even more captivating. The eyes show the weight of the knowledge she has carried by herself for far too long. I would be lying if I said I could hurt her for whatever she’s about to tell me. Since I met her, she has been the one who has comforted me many times — even if I didn’t ask for it. She helped me the night of the Nle Shom and the day that I forced a kiss on Carnaxa and ever since.

I grind my teeth, worried about taking another oath, but it’s all I can offer her. “I swear to the Great Goddess above that what you tell me will not be repeated from my lips unless this information would cause harm to someone I love.”

She smiles at that, running her fingers through her hair. “The Princess you mean.”

I nod my head in agreement, no point in arguing.

“Very well.” Anara brings her legs up to sit criss-cross on the bed, folding her hands in her lap. “I’m from Minasa, a small, isolated village in San’doma at the base of the volcano there.”

I try to think of all the things I know from tales of the Southern Continent, but I don’t remember hearing anything about Minasa. I lean back on my arms on my small bed, allowing myself to get comfortable.

“My father sold me to Shaston. He didn’t understand the dynamics he was marrying into, with the Minasians. He fell in love with my mother for her looks, not realizing the power she held. Maybe she hid it from him until she brought him to Minasa before I was born. I don’t know. But that’s where the story begins.”

She smirks. “Ereon calls me ‘myach myom.’ I told him it means tiny demon, but it’s more than that. It’s what we are. We have always had the power of fire running through our veins and more, but that’s not the story I’m focusing on tonight. King Atlas has been looking for anyone from Minasa because of the knowledge we possess — things that have been and will come to pass. No one in my village would dare sell another out to a foreign king. We’ve been together for too long — except my father. When he heard how much the Prel was willing to pay for one of Minasian blood, he sold me without a second thought. It was Atlas’ order not to harm me, and that’s the only reason I survived the trip across the sea and was then smuggled through Midaeliea, near the Cartilen Mountains. We’ve always had magic running through us, but here on your continent it’s been asleep for years. The magic, it’s what you are all calling ‘the madness’ — it’s awake now.”

She turns to look directly at me, lightly biting her bottom lip. “I felt as if I was being torn in two when I reached the boundary. A piece of me was being shredded, my memories — my very essence — stolen, except for what I kept near. When they searched me they found I had brought a fire agate stone with me, and the King knew it was the last of my magic. Stones are a failsafe of sorts, they can be imbued with magic that we can use if ours should drain or falter. Apparently, the stones even work in lands without magic. However, only the owners can use it or gift it to someone else. I still don’t know how he knew I could use it, but he did.

“I made a deal. Please understand, I wanted to go home. I wanted to go back to Fahi, the first boy I ever loved and have loved for so long.” She stops and looks away from me, a single tear slipping down her cheek. Without a moment’s hesitation, I reach out and erase the tear. She takes a deep breath before starting again.

“I told the king what I knew. I thought that would be the end. Then he explained he didn’t trust his son to do what was required of him, claiming he had a weakened, wet heart from all the tears he’d spilled over the years. Atlas explained I was to make his son love me, so that when the time came, I could be used to make Ereon do whatever Atlas wanted, and then the King would let me go home. I agreed, not realizing how long he expected to keep me. I just wanted to go home. In every world, there are always those souls that call to each other. It’s a magic within itself, a blessing from the beginning.”

She begins to quiver as she did the night of the Nle Shom; I gather her in my arms. Her scent of jasmine and honey permeates the area between us, and I hold her tighter. How long has it been since she’s told her story? How many would have listened without hurting her? How many would have believed her?

Her voice is a whisper as she turns her head to let it rest on my chest. “I gathered what magic I had still lingering in my veins and the stone in my hands. When I was presented to Ereon, I manipulated his lust for me, making it feel like love. I made him think he loved me from the first time he looked at me, and unfortunately, eventually he sincerely did. And in a way, I fell in love with him, too.”

Present

The night Anara revealed how she made Ereon believe he loved her, I stopped her from telling me more. There are still so many questions that circle between us and one day, I’ll ask, for now, we’ve let what she revealed be a secret between us.

She stands now with Ereon, his voice filled with frustration as he tries to talk with her once more. He’s tried so many times, it’s obvious he wants her back in his arms. Anara shakes her head, putting her hand up to his chest before taking a step back and walking away as Siphonie comes stomping out of Naxa’s tent.

Rhenor walks up next to me and whistles. “How is it there are exactly three women in this entourage and all of them are mad?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Just our luck, I guess.”

My eyes follow Anara as she walks back to Carnaxa’s tent, staring back at the men who stare at her from across the flames of a campfire. She smiles and then gives them a rude gesture before disappearing into the tent. I chuckle under my breath. She is still shackled and yet she carries more bravery than most. If we ever return to Antalis, and she wants to, she’d be an amazing soldier.

“What’s her story?” Rhenor wipes sweat from his brow as he tips his head toward where Anara was.

“Just a stranger like the rest of us, figuring it out.” I cross my arms in front of me. I made her a vow — I won’t break it — I learned my lesson.

“Mhm ... the two of you seem to be spending a lot of time together.” Rhenor looks over at me and I suddenly feel like I’m fifteen again, getting in trouble by my superior.

“And if we are?”

“What about Naxa? Thylas, she will remember you. Just have faith. She’ll come back.”

“I’ve already told you, I did this. I broke my oath. I told the Goddess to take her presence away. So she took Carnaxa. As much as I want to believe it, and as much as I still love her, I don’t think she’s coming back. Not to me.”

You are stronger without her.

I think back to the night I had her, her smooth skin beneath me. Ereon said that was to be our only night, a gift he gave us. I just didn’t realize how truthful those words would be. I thought somehow we would have more time.

I turn and start walking back to see if we still have firewood. We will be in the forest at the base of the mountains tomorrow, but I would still like to not freeze tonight. Rhenor follows right behind me.

“Promise me, Thylas. Don’t make rash decisions, and give it time if you feel like she truly is gone. You’ll go on, find love again. I did.” He looks to Siphonie who is now pacing and talking to herself just outside their tent. “I loved Balenia. I would have given my soul for hers at any time, but Siphonie … she is my life, and the baby growing in her womb, regardless of how it came to be. That’s my child. If I had shut myself down, I wouldn’t have known the gift of Siphonie’s love. I don’t want that for you. ”

“If I think she is gone, Rhenor, I’ll perform the neni myself.” The neni gives Antalians free will, a way to deny a twin drop. Usually agreed upon by each person, but it can be done alone. If she doesn’t want me ... it’s the only choice, I’ll have to find peace without her.

“No, Thylas, never perform the neni. You’ve loved her for all these years. I helped raise you, I’ve known longer than you have, the feelings you’ve harbored for her. If you give up now, you will regret it. Find companionship if you must, but don’t take such a precious gift away from yourself or her. Just give it time. I was worried she would have performed it already given her state of mind.” He looks to the ground and then back at me. “You still feel the twin drop connection?”

“Every fucking day.”

I have my hand resting behind my head as I look up into the darkness as I lie in the tent. I hear the soft opening of the tent door. It’s Anara. She has her own tent, she can even sleep with Carnaxa if she wants. But from the moans coming from that tent, I can see why she wouldn’t choose to be there.

“Are you asleep?” she whispers across the darkness.

“Am I ever asleep?” I lean up, scratching the scruff on my face. I need to shave soon. Carnaxa’s moans fill the quiet between us and I rub the space between my brows. Every night I hear her in his embrace. I am forced to recognize it’s not my name she’s calling, but his. “Want to talk about what Ereon said?” I’ve asked her often if she wants to talk about it, but she declines every time.

“The same as always. Want to play the game?” She smiles at me, a match already in her hands.

Since she told me of the power in her veins, she’s let me witness what she can do since magic is apparently back in the lands. She curses because she can’t generate it like she did in San’doma, but she can manipulate it. She hasn’t said anything specific, but I assume it’s the lack of range of motion due to the chains.

“You like games, Anara?” I ask, and a sly smile crosses her lips.

She walks across the room, sitting in front of me cross-legged, between my own legs. I should have definitely gotten better situated before she got comfortable, but oh well. She strikes the match, catching the flame not on the match but in her palm. She tosses it back and forth between her two hands. Her face lit up in the flickering flame.

“You ready?” she asks.

I rub the palms of my hands, anticipating what she’s going to do. The first time she did this, I thought she had lost her mind. But then she throws the flame at me and I catch it in my hands.

The small flame dances back and forth as I hold it in my palms. A small itch happens around my wrist, but I ignore it and throw the flame back to Anara. It grows a bit in her hands, and she smiles at me. She’s missed the flame. As I focus on Anara and the flame, a warmth spreads through me and I’m able to stop focusing on the sounds coming from Carnaxa and Ereon and instead, focus on this spark between us. It’s a nice distraction .

We do this until we are both on the brink of wakefulness and I watch as she closes her palm, the fire extinguishing as if it never existed. She stands up and stretches before making her way toward the chair. Every night since we’ve started this, she falls asleep in my chair.

“Just come sleep in the bed. I’ll sleep in the chair.” I move the blankets from around me.

“I’m fine here. That’s your bed.” She shrugs. “I’ve slept in worse.”

That makes me pause, she has slept in worse and she shouldn’t have. I move off the bed so quickly she can’t argue and grab her. My arm sweeps her knees out from under her, my other hand cradles her back. She throws her arm around my shoulder in panic before I drop her on the bed. She chuckles but doesn’t move or argue.

“Fine. We’ll share it.” I walk back to my side and lie back down, pulling the covers over both of us. It’s a small bed, but it’s big enough for the two of us. I lay on my side, facing her. She lies the opposite direction, but it’s her temperature that catches my attention. The warmth that comes from her is unlike Naxa — she was much cooler. I can’t help but reach out to touch Anara’s shoulder. “Your skin, it’s so hot.”

She shivers as if my fingers tickle her. She turns around and runs her index finger across my shoulder. “So is yours. Go to sleep, Ambassador. Tomorrow is a new day.” The chains of her shackles clink as she rolls back over and I listen to her slow breaths as sleep finally takes me.