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thirty-seven

Ereon

A s the sun brings light to the horizon, Carnaxa sits up abruptly in bed. Clutching her hand to her chest, she sounds as though she is choking.

I reach out to her, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

But she doesn’t answer. She screams and her body shakes as she digs into the skin near her shell. Tears fall from her eyes. I don’t know what to do as I hold her. “Breathe … tell me wh at’s happening?”

Suddenly she stops screaming, although she is still sobbing against my chest. “I think I was just ripped apart.”

I don’t know what is happening to help her; who can I get to help her? The healers I would recommend are far from us now. I run my hand across the back of her head.

“I think more was taken from me. First my memories and now this … what is happening?” She cries against my chest.

“I don’t know, Rheyro. But I promise, once we get more men … we will find someone to help you.” She holds on to me as I rock her, praying that soon she’ll be okay.

After leaving Carnaxa this morning, I went out to spar with Rhenor, needing to get out of my own head for a while.

“He’s different,” Rhenor says from beside me as we fill up our canteens with water. I wouldn’t precisely label us as friends, but I’ve grown to respect him during our time together. His eyes glance from Thylas to Carnaxa before returning his attention back to the canteen in his hand. “They both are.”

I nod my head in agreement. He’s right. I’ve noticed subtle differences in Thylas since we’ve left the palace. He’s been irritable more often than not, Rhenor needing to pull him back from fights. But truthfully, with everything going on, he’s not my problem. I know that the marks he left across my back that day were more than just doing what he had to — he was taking out his anger on my flesh, so I don’t really care why he’s been acting strange and I don’t feel bad for my lack of sympathy.

I understand the predicament he’s found himself in with Naxa, and it’s hard on all of us. I still worry that the only reason she even wants me is because of the drop. She trusts those ripples, but it’s not the same. She takes out her feelings on me, and I accept them, but I still wish for once she could at least look at me like she did the night I watched her with Thylas.

“I’m serious, Ereon. I’ve known Thylas since he was a child. Something’s wrong with him. He hasn’t even been skulking around your tent at night. Normally, we’d have to pry him from her side, but now he’s only doing the bare minimum required of him.”

That jars my attention. “Do I need to replace him as her guard? He originally kept his station because of his loyalty to her, but if he can’t bear the responsibility —”

“Stop.” Rhenor turns around to face me head on. “This is more than just the pissing contest you’ve both been having for her. I mean no disrespect, Prince, but listen to me. I’ve been on Ashonera a lot longer than either of you, and something isn’t right.”

“I know.” I sigh, looking past him as Carnaxa walks with Siphonie. They are both bundled up as the snow falls again. “I’ve tried to talk to the Princess and I’ve tried to talk to him. I even tried to figure out what was happening with Anara.”

My eyes dart around looking for her. I’ve not seen her at all this morning. I need to find her. I told Carnaxa I would force a conversation between us all .

“What we had was forged from nothing but pain. We found each other broken and we didn’t have a choice but to fall in love. But it’s not true love, not really.”

Anara claimed she used the last of her magic to make me believe I loved her, but the truth is maybe she forced it on me at first, but now ... after all this time. No, the love I have for her was real, even if she never returned the same feelings. All these years, I’ve been so blind in my love for her. I promised I would save her, take those shackles from her, and behind my back, she was making her own deals with my father.

“Thylas told us what happened before Shaston.” He chews the inside of his lips, debating his words. “Told us … you are her drop too.”

“Yes. She was blessed with two, and I’ll never understand why.” I take a drink. “Speaking of Carnaxa, she woke up with severe chest pains this morning. Said she felt like she was being rip —”

Rhenor’s eyes widen as he interrupts me, “The stupid fool.”

I look at him quizzically, not understanding.

“He performed the neni .” Frustrated, he runs his hand through his hair before swiftly heading to find Thylas.