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forty-seven

Carnaxa

“ D rink this.” Someone has a glass of water tipping towards my lips as I wake. Ereon sits beside my bed, looking frazzled. As I drink the cool water, I feel it soothing the scratchy sensation in my throat. The rain pounds on the top of our tent, creating a cacophony of sound. I sit up on my forearms as he brushes strands of hair out of my face, his bruised fingers caressing my cheeks. “You were amazing. We will try again tomorrow to leave, but I didn’t want to travel with you in the state you were in.”

“Tomorrow then.” I finish drinking the water before I meet his gaze, worrying if we will ever get home and the words from my mother come back to mind.

He studies me for a moment before taking my now empty glass. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Nothing ... just a dream. Where is everyone?”

He sighs. “Siphonie and Rhenor are in their own tent. Thylas is ... outside.” He looks towards the entrance to the tent. “Said he was standing guard to make sure you are okay.”

I laugh silently to myself. “Tell him to come in. Why did you keep him outside?”

Ereon doesn’t meet my gaze. “I didn’t. He chose that himself. I told him to come inside where it is warm. He’s being stubborn.” Ereon walks toward the tent’s entrance, beckoning Thylas in.

His cloak dripping wet, Thylas enters with his head hidden from view, his tattooed arms peeking out from the fabric of his shirt. Before releasing the clasp at his neck, he shakes off the droplets clinging to the fabric, watching them fall to the floor. “Sorry,” he mumbles, before he walks to me. “Are you okay?”

As I look at him, I can see the fear and hesitancy in his eyes. Things have changed between us, even if we don’t want to admit it, but it’s not my doing. He’s the one who performed the neni . He didn’t give me a choice. He didn’t wait for me.

I grab Thylas’ hand as he sits on the edge of the bed, shooting a look at Ereon, but I know my husband won’t say anything. What more could Ereon have to prove? As he bent on his knees to proclaim me queen in front of everyone. Ereon smiles at me, leaning down before whispering, “We are here for you, Rheyo .”

Thylas’ deep green eyes meet mine, and in this moment, I can almost feel his fingers itching to reach out and touch me, to bridge the distance between us. Although our twin drop connection has vanished, the feelings and memories still whirl around in my mind. Siphonie and Rhenor don’t have a twin drop between them and they still have love. Perhaps we will too. I still need him ... in a way I can’t explain. Just like the night we shared before we reached Shaston — I knew I needed Ereon and now — I need Thylas.

I don’t let him speak before I spring up, letting my arms wrap around his neck, pulling him into me. I hug him close, ignoring the rhythm of his heart that doesn’t beat in time with mine. It means nothing, because I know at some point, we will find it again.

“ Noh?.” His fingers delicately trace a path along my spine, causing goose bumps to erupt across my skin. “I’ve missed you.” He sighs, his voice filled with a mix of joy and sadness as he continues, “I shouldn’t do this … we’ve tried this before and it only brought you pain.” Thylas stops and pulls away from me.

“But you did nothing wrong … what happened wasn’t because of you.” I smile at him. “I want this.” Perhaps it’s the looming presence of mortality or the allure of the unknown future, but as the words leave my mouth, I feel an undeniable urge for a fresh beginning. I want to go back to the beginning of what we started before we even reached Shaston’s borders. The absence of my soul’s longing for him does not erase the years of desire I have harbored .

“I made an oath to the Goddess … I’ve broke it once. I can’t do it again,” he says, his soft whispers tickling my hair.

I know he’s scared … and I am too. But I know what was done wasn’t his fault. And I need him to know that there is still something between us. “Thylas … please.” The words tremble from my lips. “I only saw the ripples the first time we were together, and then during the Nle Shom . I’ve always heard the Goddess doesn’t grant something and take it away.”

“No, I chose to have it taken.” He looks down. My fingers reach out and brush against the side of his face.

“We can try to get it back. I know it has to be there.”

A grunt escapes from Ereon in the room's corner, breaking the silence. Ereon’s presence behind me becomes clear. I feel his fingers gently explore the curves of my hips and breast, igniting a fire within me. He kisses the back of my neck, his lips trail towards the freckles on the side. He leans closer and whispers in a hushed tone, “Do you want me to leave, once my men cared … but now … it doesn’t matter.”

I shake my head. “No. I want ... It doesn’t matter.” I realize that Thylas is still too scared, too worried, and I understand.

I pull away from Thylas, already missing his warmth. I start to stand up when he grabs my hand, pulling me towards him and delivering a forceful, overpowering kiss.

He tastes of home, of the salt of the seas and the sugar of the sky candy we would share. Succumbing to his touch, I allow our bodies to merge, savoring the sensation of his fingers tangling and stroking my hair. He inhales deeply against the strands of my cerulean hair as if I am the sustenance he needs to survive.

I pour into him everything have, willing the twin drop to show once again.

Thylas stops and Ereon rests his chin on my shoulder, and I’m caught between two mountains of men. Thylas’ deep emerald green eyes meet mine and he glances at Ereon, asking for the permission he already has. Ereon snorts behind me. “We will do what she allows, but don’t think I’m just watching this time.” I can’t help but laugh at his words.

Breaking my embrace with Thylas, I swiftly wrap my arm around Ereon, savoring the sensation of his chest pressed against my back. As soon as our lips connect, a radiant glow emanates from our shells. Thylas bites his lip, looking at the ripples and I wonder how he can still see them.

I feel the warmth of Thylas’ fingertips grazing my bare neck, and Ereon peppers the area with a series of sweet, lingering kisses. Ahead of me lies my past, a trail of experiences that shaped who I am. Behind me is my future, a path yet to be traveled. Caught in the middle, I strive to embrace both.

I know we should all talk about what is happening, but right now ... this is all I can think of. I want to fix the rift between Thylas and me, and I hope since this is how it started — this is how I can remind his soul of what we had.

Ereon turns me to face him, his brown eyes staring into mine. “I love you,” he says. With nimble fingers, I undo the lacings of his pants, and his eager manhood escapes the confines of the constricting leather. Ereon picks me up, laying me flat on the bed, our kisses growing frantic. The sound of his groan fills my mouth as he forcefully pulls me on top of him, his hands gripping my hips tightly. He doesn’t force his way in as he lets me glide back and forth across him. Heated sensations course through my body. My bare skin beneath the night dress tingles as I slowly slide against his lap.

Thylas comes behind me, his fingers trailing to grasp the hem of my nightgown. I feel a rush of cool air as he removes my nightgown, and I hear it drop to the ground gently. With my knees planted on the bed, I lift myself above Ereon and then smoothly take hold of him, positioning him at my entrance.

I need everything they have to give me so that I can give them my everything in return. I lean down on Ereon’s cock, letting his thickness fill me. He groans and digs his fingers into me even deeper as I begin my slow pace.

Thylas bends down, his hands engulfing my breasts, tenderly teasing and twirling my nipples. He kisses and gently sucks on my neck, but his hands tremble. The heat radiating from him engulfs me. I don’t know when his clothes were lost, but I feel his thickness pressing against my ass as he straddles Ereon’s legs.

The golden ripples flows steadily between Ereon and I. My prayers to the Goddess above request she give me just a glimpse once more of that same — yet silver — ripple with Thylas.

Thylas’ hands grip at my hips helping me balance as I place one hand on Ereon’s chiseled chest. Needing more of them both, I brace my other hand on Ereon’s thigh, shifting my weight and turning to face Thylas while Ereon slowly pistons into me. His gaze captivates mine.

Thylas’ mouth finds mine, heat and hunger taking over as his teeth bite my bottom lip. His hands grip my hips helping me slide up and down Ereon’s length. Ereon lets me control where this is going, pausing his own movements. I break from Thylas, pleasurably out of breath.

“You’re still mine, right?” Thylas asks, his dark emerald eyes turning darker, something churns behind them as he looks at the shell embedded in my chest.

“Yes.” I moan.

Thylas wraps his hand around my throat, applying pressure as I look at him, his eyes glaze over — a mixture of desire and … something else. He pulls me back to him, biting at my bottom lip. I can taste blood as he squeezes tighter around my throat. The sensation that once was pleasure is giving way to pain as his grip tightens and my breath becomes hard to find. Thylas’ hand crushes me and his kisses turn hard and desperate.

I try to ask him to let go of my throat, but all I can do is tap his forearm. I can no longer take a breath and stars are starting to form on the edge of my vision. As a strangled gasp leaves my lips, Ereon leans up quickly and pushes Thylas in the chest while simultaneously pulling me from Thylas’ grasp. He slings a strong arm around my waist, bringing my back to his chest, throwing his legs to the floor. Thylas fumbles on the bed, and I cough as air fills my lungs again .

“What is wrong with you? She couldn’t breathe,” Ereon says sternly, his voice filled with concern as I slowly crawl off of him. I turn to face them as Ereon stands.

“I’m doing this for her! Trying to find the twin drop bond like she said we could, again.” Thylas seethes as he stands, running a hand through his hair.

“You’re doing this for you, Thylas! Still trying to be the savior all on your own. Just like in the Cartilen Mountains when I had to threaten you to keep her safe. You performed the neni on your own accord. You think your actions, rooted in anger, are going to save her instead of just believing in her?” Ereon shouts as I try to draw more air into my lungs.

“And you didn’t bring Carnaxa here for your own gains?” Thylas retorts, eyeing him like a volcano ready to erupt. “You’re perfect now, right? The redeemed prince who once only wanted to use her to get back to Anara. Because that worked out so well for you.”

Ereon stiffens at the cruel words. His eyes flicker with hurt, before sharpening, his expression darkening. “I’m her husband! Everything I’ve done since we stepped onto Shaston’s sands has been for her. Anara … she made her own choices, her own deals … a part of me still loves her and forever will. However, nothing that has happened changes the fact that I would never do to Carnaxa what you just did.”

Ereon takes a deep breath and leans his forehead against mine. “Are you okay?”

I nod my head. “Yes ... he’s just …”

“No. I’m not asking about him. I’m asking about you,” Ereon says, his fingers trailing my spine.

I nod my head again, rubbing my throat before looking past Ereon. Thylas is throwing on his clothes haphazardly.

“Thylas … stay,” I plead, hoping surely this was some sort of misunderstanding. A moment of passion that became too much. We can still salvage this, save it … save us.

“I was a fool to think this would change anything.” His hands clench at his sides before he throws open the tent door and a chilling breeze fills the room.