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fifteen

Anara

E reon leads the Princess to the ceremonial bed and I know what’s about to happen. The men holler around us, ready for the show to begin. I shouldn’t be here. I should have left with the others, but I didn’t want to. I need to be here, to remind myself that I was the one who did this. I always knew this was going to be what needed to happen — but it hurts more than I expected.

Seven Moon Cycles Ago

The men drag me through the corridors of the dark castle; my surroundings smell of sex, rot, and something else I can’t place. I sniff again. The air is thick with magic, a potent blend of darkness and ancient power.

The soldiers, someone called them the Prel , threw me into a dungeon. I cried the first few nights because I missed my family. But I soon realized that crying wasn’t going to help me. So I learned to hide emotion. To suppress it, to change it into internal rage. The King of Shaston is smart — he told his Prel to keep those captured drugged until we crossed the Great Sea into the Northern Continent with ku?i mayi, an herb known to my people for helping those in pain sleep for hours; I couldn’t access my magic. Feeling it ripped from me was a death in itself. I had heard the rumors that the Northern Continent had had magic stripped from them, as well as other places in the Southern Continent, but in my village at the base of the volcano, it flourished.

I played with the flames as if they were my brothers and sisters. I would weave them into my own creations of the different animals I saw or dreamed of and wrap them around me. I learned that the flames were helpful when the small boys of the village would irritate me. It started with the smallest boy in the village, Fahi. He was shorter than everyone else and so he felt like he had the most to prove. He would often try to pull my hair and throw small pebbles at me among other things. I learned when I shot my flames at him he would run. It became a game of cat and mouse. We grew up playing this game until that playfulness became love. The irritating boy became the sweet young man who swept me under his flame one night beneath the stars. He took everything I willingly gave, and that was the first time I felt love.

“This is the one from San’doma?” a dark man with a crown of darkness on his brow walks into the dungeon asking someone to his left.

“From the village nearest the volcano, yes, King. Her father sold her to us.” He smirks at me. “None of us touched her — we followed your commands. But if you want me to break her, I’d be happy to help.”

The King crouches down and reaches out to me. I throw my hand out as if I can summon my flames. He just laughs and I start to shake. I’ve never been without my power, even after the rebirths. I’ve always had it. But now, without it, will I remember the lessons Fahi taught me? How to defend myself with the staff he taught me to use? That was long ago. Fahi always said that I would need to find other ways to protect myself, but I didn’t listen. Where is he now? Does he know what my father did? Is he still looking for me?

“Tell me something that will make keeping you out of the yir supa worth my while. Tell me about the prophecy.”

“I ...” My voice shakes. “I don’t know of a prophecy.”

He looks down at me before standing back up. “She’s useless, Ataiun. Throw her in the yir supa, I’ll fuck her later.” He turns before fear completely takes over me.

“Upon the day the moon turns bright, the loyal heir’s death awakens eternal night. The waters will rise and the fires will blaze, then only the sacrificed can save.” I repeat the words my mother taught me, the words that have been repeated for years among her family. “I ... can tell you more … because I know what it means.”

The King turns slowly. “I thought you might. I think we can have a great relationship between the two of us.”

Present

I shudder, remembering King Atlas’ words as I came to this shore. I was desperate, but it’s not an excuse for the role I played in his schemes. I can feel the flame of my power beneath my skin, sleeping, but less than before. It’s been so many years since I’ve been able to relish in it. To feel the flame come from my fingertips, to let it wrap me in a warm embrace.

“Calm yourself,” I hear a man saying in a stern voice ahead of me.

It’s one of the Antalians, the older one married to the one with pink hair, and he has his hand wrapped so tightly around the Ambassador’s arm, I think he could break it if he wanted. The Ambassador, Thylas I remember, stands with his head held down. Without thinking, I make my way toward him.

Thylas, a man having his heart torn out in front of him, and I feel for him. A silent tear begins to slide down his cheek. When I made the deal all those years ago, I didn’t think about those outside of the prophecy that this would affect. He doesn’t realize I’m near as I grab for his hand. Thylas tries to jerk away, immediately grabbing for his sword before he realizes it is me. He looks down at me, his eyes red from holding back tears. He needs to get out of here because what’s coming will break him beyond repair if he witnesses it with his own eyes. If he fights the inevitable, I know Atlas will kill him. He’s just an ambassador — Antalis could send another.

I tug at his hand. “Follow me … please.”

He shakes his head and I notice his companion glancing at me, deciding if I’m friend or foe.

“I promise, I’m just trying to help him.” I pull him once more and the red-headed man nudges Thylas towards me.

“You are Ereon’s other woman?” the friend asks me. “I’ve heard of you — from what he told Thylas.” His words sting, but I nod anyway.

The man scratches at his beard. “Go with her,Thylas. I’ll stand in your place. If the King has a problem with the change … we will handle it later.”

Thylas nods but looks back towards the bed and his eyes glaze over with fury and ... jealousy? Ereon is grabbing at her knee, pulling her into him. Her moan echoes through the room, even above the loudness of the crowd.

“Come on … Ambassador.” I don’t give him a chance to say no this time as I pull him through the crowd.

I push the door open to his room — or what they call one anyway — it’s almost smaller than my dungeon cell was. It has nothing but a bed, not even big enough for two people. After I bandaged his knuckles earlier, I had to ask around as I tried to find his room so I could retrieve his ceremonial clothing.

“I know what’s going to happen,” he says from where he sits staring out the small window, if one wants to call it that. “I’m a Shastonian by blood. I know what Nle Shom is.”

His words catch me off guard. I didn’t expect him to be from here and end up Ambassador to Antalis. What a tale that must be. It’s not the point right now, though.

“Watching a new couple consummate their marriage is a strange ritual —” I begin before he cuts me off.

“Stop. You know, just as I do — that while yes, I don’t care to see that either — that’s not what all Nle Shom is. My mother bore the mark of what comes after.”

I nod my head in agreement. “Regardless of your history, you needed to get out of there. King Atlas ... he would love to have a reason to punish you.”

“Is that why Ereon looks the way he does right now? The same reason you look the way you do? King Atlas?” He turns around to face me and I suddenly feel smaller than I already am compared to him. I know what I told him earlier, but Ereon’s story ... that’s not mine to tell.

“King Atlas loves pain — in all forms — he always has.” I bite my bottom lip, not wanting to say anymore. “Ereon will survive, he always does and the Princess will, too. I know the bond between them. Ereon won’t let him harm her, not if he can prevent it.”

He stands, keeping his head lowered while squeezing the bridge of his nose. “The bond.” He laughs as if he’s entering a state of shock. “The syam damn shol bond.” The Shamilish words are sloppy as they come from his mouth.

He tears the leather band from his hair; his inky strands cascade down his shoulders. “The twin drop ... that’s what you are talking about. The twin drop ‘blessed by the Goddess’ speech — that’s what you are going to give me? I know who you are and I know what you mean to Ereon. Don’t pretend you are okay with this, with them … He told me while Carnaxa was asleep that he felt the way he does for only one other person aside from her, and it is you. Don’t sit here and make excuses for him, when it’s hurting you just as much as it is me.”

I nibble on my bottom lip. I always knew that one day I would have to tell someone. Why shouldn’t it be someone like Thylas? I take a deep breath and walk towards him again.

“Sit down.” I motion to the bed, the only place to sit. He acts as if he’s going to ignore me and I make my voice louder. “I said sit down. I have something I want to tell you, but I don’t want you telling anyone yet. Not even Ereon.”

He looks back at me and then makes his way to the bed. I sit beside him, grabbing his hand. I don’t know why I do, perhaps I need to feel grounded. I need to feel connected to someone right now.

“He felt that way ... because I made it so.”