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Thylas

T hirteen days have passed since we traveled into Shaston, and still Carnaxa’s slumber is unbroken. On the bed before me, her chest gently rises and falls with her breaths. I hold her hand in mine, wanting so much to see the beautiful eyes I’ve gone too long without.

I run my fingers across her forehead and lean down to kiss her cheek. I’ve prayed daily for her to return to us. The healers have decided there is nothing left they can do and it is up to the Goddess to see if she will remain with us or go to Mohasha.

Ereon’s men stand outside the door, the shuffling of feet the only indication of their presence. They are supposed to be guarding us from what’s happening beyond these doors, but even they know we aren’t truly protected here. I don’t know if anyone is anymore.

Without a knock, the door creaks open and muffled footsteps approach from behind me. I don’t have to wonder who it is. Apart from his princely duties, he, much like myself, rarely leaves this room.

“It’s time to gather our things, we’ve got to go,” Ereon says from beside me. I glance up at him, noticing that he too, doesn’t look like the same man who left Antalis. His eyes have dark circles beneath them that match mine. His beard is unshaven and ragged. I also have more scruff than usual on my face from the days without shaving. The days I haven’t left her side.

Siphonie and Rhenor check on me, they try to pry me from her room, but it’s never for long. I promised I would protect her from everything and I failed. Ereon’s hand comes down on my shoulder.

“We are out of time. I’ve put off my father as long as I can. Now that she is stable enough, we have to get back before the madness gets worse.”

I roll my eyes. Antalis still fights the deluc daily according to reports, but now — we have the madness. Whatever happened when we crossed the border of Shaston seemed to have radiated out from us, and is now simply called “the madness.” Because that is what it is. Reports of extraordinary abilities have surfaced, spreading like wildfire. Abilities that have not been seen since the Great War. Not everyone has been affected, but I witnessed the day a baker and a customer got into a fight; the buyer caused such a ruckus as his hands released flames that burned the baker’s stand down.

“Because you really think she’ll be safe inside that castle of yours? We both know even if she wakes, her life in Shaston will be less than ideal.” Shaston is a place I never wanted to return to, but in the moments I’ve sat by her side, I’ve decided it’s a past I’ll have to embrace. The Shastonian blood that runs inside of me … perhaps it can help keep her safe, or my position secured, if the King thinks another Shastonian man sits with his hand in Antalis’ politics.

Ereon sits on the edge of her bed and runs his fingers down her pale olive skin, which stretches across her too-thin arm, before he shakes his head.

“I think she’ll be in more danger if we don’t get there. My father will already be displeased. We made him wait this long. If he has to come find us, none of us will be happy with what will happen. I can only make so many excuses.”

I sit and fight the fear that builds in my chest. I’m not scared of many things, but I am petrified of the fact she might not wake. What then will become of Antalis? What about the treaty and the agreement made? What will happen if I never get to hold her in my arms again?

The understanding forged between Ereon and I is still delicate, but it’s holding steady — most days. It’s hard to hate someone when you can see their pain matches your own. I will always envy him for being the one who gets to marry her.

“Let’s not pretend you aren’t ready to be back in your home. You have your other woman there.” I look at him and watch as his hand stills on Naxa.

“Yes, I’m worried about Anara.” He sighs deeply before continuing, “But, it doesn’t change how I feel for Carnaxa. I thought we were past this. We both know I care for Carnaxa, just as much as you do.”

I stand up, rolling my shoulders. “Oh, I know you care about what she will provide for you, but only time will tell if you truly care about her.” As much as I want to trust him, it was one night. One night of loosened restraint. I know she is connected to him; I bore witness to the ripples she shared with him. But his true test will be when we are in his home, with his father pulling the strings from behind him and another woman on his arm.

He turns and runs his hand through his beard. “You still think that’s the only reason I care about her? Because of her kingdom? It’s been thirteen days and I’ve sat at her side just as much as you have. I’ve prayed to a goddess I rarely acknowledge for her safety. ”

We have had similar arguments over the past few days, the first when I couldn’t find the dagger I gave her before we left. I have rummaged through every bag and it’s not here. I thought Ereon had taken it out of jealousy, or greed, or maybe one of his men. Rhenor went back to where we crossed, but it’s still missing.

“Yes, you have, but I also know that you will do anything for this woman you left. So what will you do, Prince, when you must choose between them? Because for me, there is only one who has my heart, and she’s here in this room. ”

He tucks the surrounding covers around Carnaxa and pivots to head to the door, but halts beside me.

“If it makes you feel better to hate me, then do it. Hate me all you want, but you can’t pretend to not have witnessed what we all did just a few moons ago. I saw the ripples coming from her that replied to our own. I didn’t ask for this, and I didn’t plan for it. If anything, blame your goddess. She’s the one in charge of these ridiculous twin drops, right?” Ereon huffs before his face changes to a princely facade. “We move out at dawn, get prepared.”

He walks to the door, slamming it as he leaves. I run my hands through my inky strands, wanting so much to just go back and make things right somehow. I lean down and run a finger along her temple. “I need you to wake up, Noh? . I’m lost without you.” I can’t go back to not having her love. Not again.