Page 67 of The Sun Sister

That evening, after dinner with Audrey, Cecily feigned a headache and excused herself. The pain of watching Julius across the table making small talk, knowing that every precious minute that went by was wasted when she was not in his arms, was simply too much for her. Slipping between the sheets, she turned the light out, praying for her mind to still and let her sleep. She was just dozing off when she heard a tap on the door.

‘Cecily, darling, are you asleep?’

Before she knew it, he was there beside her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

‘Julius, what are you doing? What about your aunt? I—’

‘She’s retired for the night. And besides, she sleeps right at the other end of the corridor. Now hush, and let me kiss you.’

First the covers, and then her nightgown, were peeled off her body.

‘No! We can’t, we mustn’t! I’m off to Kenya soon...’

‘But doesn’t it feel wonderful, my darling? Naked for the first time, skin touching skin...’ He took her hand and laid it on the satin-smooth skin of his neck, then guided it downwards and she felt the slight bristle of hair on his chest, then the muscles of his stomach, and then...

‘No!Please, I can’t. We’re not even an official couple.’

‘Oh, we very much are. A couple bound up in a passionate love affair. I do love you, Cecily. I love you so much...’

‘And I love you,’ she murmured as her hand was released so his own could travel across her breasts, before journeying further down her body.

‘Will you wait until I’m back?’ she breathed.

‘Wait for what?’ he said as he rolled on top of her and she felt his hardness pressing against her.

‘Me, of course,’ she whispered, her mental faculties anaesthetised by the wonderful sensations her body was experiencing.

‘Of course I will, my darling, of course.’

It was only as he started to ease himself inside her that her brain finally overran her body.

‘No, Julius! I might get pregnant. I can’t, please.’

‘Don’t worry, darling, I won’t let that happen, I promise. I’ll pull out before. Now just relax and trust me.’

‘But we’re not even engaged, Julius!’

‘Then we’ll get engaged,’ he said as he began to thrust into her. ‘This was just meant to be, darling Cecily, wasn’t it?’

For a fleeting moment, she thought how thrilled Dorothea would be if she one day became the chatelaine of Woodhead Hall. Surely, even her father might forgive her for tonight if that was the prize.

‘Yes,’ she said.

Cecily awoke late the next morning, looked at the travel clock sitting by her bed and saw it was past nine o’clock. She lay there, still sleepy from last night’s exertions, her mind flitting from the wrongness of what she had done – immediately comforting herself with the thought that there had been a number of girls at Vassar who had lost their virginity during their college years – to thoughts of how and when they would announce their engagement. Julius hadn’t actuallysaidthat he would marry her, or when – perhaps when she came back from Africa. Of course, there was also the threat of war...

Eventually, she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her whole body aching in places she didn’t know could ache. As she stood up to ring the call bell, she saw a small smudge of blood on the under-sheet. ‘Surely it’s not time for my monthly?’ she muttered to herself, confused, then remembered the whispered conversations overheard in the common room at Vassar and realised what the blood might be. Blushing at the thought of Doris noticing it, she pulled the top sheet and eiderdown across it before she rang the bell. Then she noticed an envelope which had been pushed under her door. Hurrying to pick it up before Doris arrived with her tea, she sat down on the bed and opened it.

My dearest darling Cecily,

I have had to go up to London today on business for my uncle, but I hope to return to say goodbye to you before you leave. This week has been quite wonderful, don’t you think? In case I don’t return in time, safe travels, darling girl. And do write to me with your address in Kenya as soon as you can. We must keep in touch.

Julius x

Cecily had little time to ponder the subtext of the note before Doris bustled in with the tea tray.

‘Good morning, Miss Cecily, and ain’t it a beauty?’ she said, pulling back the curtains. ‘You slept in late for a change, but there ain’t no harm in that, ’specially as the cocktail party is tonight, and tomorrow you’re on that aeroplane from Southampton. Rather you than me,’ Doris said with a shudder as she poured Cecily’s tea. ‘I’d be saying me prayers, I would. You all right, miss? You don’t look quite yourself.’

Cecily, who had been gazing out of the window, turned to Doris and gave her a smile. ‘Maybe I’m a little nervous about the flight, that’s all.’