Page 172 of The Sun Sister

As she left, Katherine glanced at Bill and put a finger to her lips as a message to say nothing more.

‘I...wish...I’d have died...with her.’ Cecily shook her head from side to side. ‘I wish I’d have died too, really I do...oh Lord, Lord...’

‘Well, I for one am awfully glad you didn’t die,’ Bill said as he sat down beside her and took her hand in his.

‘You don’t mean that, Bill. You’re probably glad the baby’s dead, and I wouldn’t blame you one bit!’

‘Cecily, I...well, they’ve asked me to ask you if you...we...want to say goodbye to the baby?’

‘Why, I haven’t even said hello to her yet...’ Cecily scraped her forearm across her nose to stop it running. ‘I haven’t even said hello.’

‘Perhaps you can think about it.’

‘Before they bury her in the ground?’

Tears began to course down her cheeks and Bill bowed his head, before she squeezed her eyes shut.

It was several seconds before her husband spoke again.

‘Cecily, please believe me, I didn’t just marry you to protect your reputation. Hearing the news about...this...well, it brought it home to me how much I care for you. And I’m truly sorry that our baby didn’t live. I am so very sorry, my dear. If I’d have been there...’ Bill whispered, his voice quavering. ‘I should have been there. I...well, I love you.’

Cecily felt a gentle sensation on her forehead. She opened her eyes and saw that Bill had bent to kiss her.

‘Perhaps it’s best if Mrs Forsythe has a little rest now.’ The nurse with blonde curls, who had been hovering outside the door, bustled in and took charge. ‘You can come back and visit her later.’

‘She’s right, you need to rest now,’ Bill said gently to Cecily. ‘I’ll be back tonight,’ he added, squeezing her hand before he stood up and left the room.

‘Right, now I’m going to give you a little injection, which will help with the pain,’ said the nurse. ‘It’ll also relax you a little.’

Cecily closed her eyes once more. She didn’t care if she was being injected with cyanide, she thought, as she felt a sharp scratch at her elbow. Her precious child was dead and whatever Bill had said, she still imagined that part of him must be glad that the baby had gone.

June 2008

I saw my grandmother’s eyes were closed and wondered whether she was asleep. It had been interesting to listen to the story of Cecily in Kenya, and I felt sorry that she’d lost her baby...but if I was honest, I didn’t feel I was any closer to discovering what all this had to do withme.

‘That’s...real sad,’ I said in quite a loud voice, to see if I could wake her.

‘Yes,’ Stella agreed, opening her eyes immediately. ‘The loss of that child affected the course of her life – and mine too.’

‘But how? Where do you come into the story? And where was I born and—’

There was a light tap on the living-room door and Mariam’s head appeared round it.

‘I am so sorry to interrupt, ladies, but the car is waiting downstairs to take you to the airport, Electra.’

‘Okay, thanks.’ I turned my attention back to Stella. ‘Well?’

‘Seems like you must be patient for a while longer. And besides,’ she said, standing up, ‘I am weary. Recounting the past is always traumatic, especially when it is your own.’

‘But how is it your own?’ I urged her as I followed her into the hallway. ‘Are you even in it yet?’

‘This isn’t a movie we’re watching, Electra; it’s a real-life story and you have to understand what came before in order to reconcile what happened next. Now, you must go and so must I.’

‘When can you come back again and tell me the rest?’

‘I’m away in Washington D.C. this weekend, but I’ll be back on Monday, so let’s make a plan for that evening, shall we? Say, eight p.m.?’

‘Sure,’ I said as we stepped into the elevator, irritated that I had to wait four more days until I discovered who I was.