Page 106 of The Sun Sister

‘I see. And what happened then?’

‘Oh, you know how it goes. More stuff. Like finding ink all over my school shirts – the teachers were very fussy about personal tidiness – no laces in my gym shoes, spiders and other creepy crawlies in my desk...Juvenile stuff, I guess, but it was anything to either get me into trouble or scare me witless.’

‘In other words, classic bullying.’

‘Yup. So I ran away again, and then when I got sent back, I decided the only way to get out of the place was to make sure I was expelled. Then I went to another school, and yeah, I guess I became the bully so the girls wouldn’t bully me. No one was gonna mess with me, y’know? But I got expelled again for the bad stuff I did, on top of flunking my exams. So I went off to Paris, got a job as a waitress, and within a few weeks was spotted by a modelling agent. The rest is history,’ I shrugged.

I watched Fi busy scribbling – she had more to write today than she’d had in all of the last three weeks put together. She looked up at me and smiled.

‘Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, Electra. I knew there was something you needed to get out, and it’s brave of you to do it. How do you feel?’

‘If you’ll pardon my French, I have no fucking idea right now.’

‘No, of course you don’t. But you’re a bright woman and you know without any prompting from me that this is where a lot of your trust issues have come from. Being offered the hand of friendship and then seeing that friendship so cruelly abused...Anyway, that’s beyond enough for today. You’ve done so well,’ she said as I stood up. ‘Just out of interest, what was it that finally encouraged you to tell me?’

‘It was a conversation with someone in here. See you tomorrow.’

After I’d walked round the Worry Maze a few times to calm down, I headed back inside to use the bathroom. I saw Vanessa was back in our dorm, looking healthier than she had last time.

‘Hi, how are you feeling?’ I asked her.

‘Like shit,’ she replied. ‘They sent me out too soon. Theseputas, they don’t know what they’re doing. Don’t trust ’em, will you?’

Given the conversation I’d just had, I decided it was probably best if I didn’t hang out with Vanessa right now.

‘I’m off to equine therapy. See you later.’

It was good to smell the horses’ clean and natural scent after the stink of the poisonous memories that had just poured out of me. Now that I thought about it, one of my ‘great escapes’, as Ally had called them, had been made on horseback. I’d taken one of the horses from the school stables, ridden to the nearby farm, then explained to the farmer where the horse needed to be returned to. Then I’d walked – or, in fact, run – the five miles into Zurich before boarding the train for Geneva.

Hank wandered over to me with a carrot to signal my allotted time was at an end.

‘Is it seriously impossible to take a ride sometime?’ I asked him. ‘I could sure do with a gallop.’

‘Not with me while you’re in here, ma’am. As I said, it’s against the rules. But there’s a neighbour of mine who has a ranch out here. Have a word with them at reception, say you’re an experienced horsewoman and that it’s good for your mental health,’ he winked at me.

‘Thanks, I will.’ I walked away from the stables, now on a mission.

After a lot of wrangling, it turned out the issue was more to do with insurance than anything else; I’d have to officially leave the clinic for the time I was at the stables in case I fell off and broke my neck, then check in again on my return. Litigation in the States really was something else, I thought as I went to lunch, feeling exhausted from the stress of the morning. I sat down with Lizzie, scanning the canteen nervously for Miles, because I wasn’t up for any kind of conversation with him right now.

‘Hello, Electra,’ said Lizzie. ‘You look tense. What’s up?’

‘Oh, nothing. In fact, everything’s gonna be good. You?’

‘Not so good actually,’ Lizzie sighed as she toyed with a cherry tomato.

‘Why?’

‘I just saw Fi and’ – Lizzie swallowed hard as tears came to her eyes – ‘she says it’s time for me to leave. We’ve discussed how my overeating habit stems from trying to compensate for things I feel are missing in my life, but she thinks that I need to get back into the real world.’

‘Okay. Isn’t that good news?’

‘Not really, no. I mean, like you and everyone else in here, I’ll be okay for a few weeks, then something will happen and I’ll be in back in my local bakery, bulk-buying doughnuts and double-chocolate-chip muffins for my binges.’

‘Oh Lizzie, it’s not like you to be negative,’ I soothed her. ‘Surely you’re looking forward to showing Chris how amazing you look?’

‘Electra,’ she said quietly, ‘we both know I don’t. I’ve botched my face with all the surgery I’ve had – I look like a horror show! Why did I do it? All forhim! And where is he now? Probably in bed with one of his little whores!’

Lizzie was shouting now and the room had gone quiet around us. Clattering her fork onto the plate, she stood up and ran out of the canteen.