Page 190 of The Sun Sister

‘Surely you must know?’

‘Why yes, I do, I was just checking you’d got your facts right.’

‘Oh, I’ve got my facts right okay,’ I nodded, my teeth biting on my bottom lip to stop the anger exploding from behind them. ‘It was Hale House in Harlem, the place where they cared for babies of addicts and AIDS sufferers.’

I kept my gaze right on her face and was pleased when she pulled her eyes away from mine first.

‘So you knew that was where I was found?’ I said.

‘Not at the time you were actually taken there, but after the fact, yes. Your father told me.’

‘Okay. So you’re saying you didn’t know that I – your granddaughter – was actually in a home for young addicts and HIV sufferers?’

‘Yes, I am saying that.’

‘I mean,you, who I saw earlier on TV talking about the AIDS crisis in Africa,you, the great champion for civil rights in this country,youdidn’t know that your own granddaughter was left at a place like that?!’ I stood up then, partly because I could no longer sit in the pants, but also because it made me feel strong to tower over my grandmother, who I saw had slumped from her normal elegant posture right down into the chair. I noticed she suddenly looked old and there was something in her eyes as she gazed past me into the distance. I realised it was fear.

‘Yeah, I’m sure that the media would just lap this story up, wouldn’t they?’ I continued. ‘Especially given my profile. I bet you wouldn’t like that, Granny dearest?!’ I almost spat.

‘You’re right, I wouldn’t, because yes, it would destroy my reputation. But I guess if I was you, it would be what you thought I deserve. And maybe I do deserve it.’

I began to pace the living room. ‘The burning question is, where the hell was my mother in all this? Who was she? And why, if she was in such big trouble, weren’t you there for her? And forme?! How you can sit there spouting your shit on TV, with everyone thinking you’re some kind of a goddess of goodness...Jeez, Stella! How do you live with yourself?!’

‘I...’ Stella gave a long sigh. ‘As I said, at the time I didn’t know.’

‘You didn’tknowthat your daughter was a drug addict or an AIDS victim or had a baby girl?’

‘No, I did not.’

‘Then where the hell were you?!’

‘I was in Africa at the time, but it’s a long story, and you can’t begin to understand it until I’ve told you what happened before your mother was even born.’

‘Does it really matter what led up to it? It’s not going to change the fact that you weren’t there for me, or my mom, when we needed you, is it?’

‘No, and you have every right to get angry, Electra, but please, I beg you, just hear me out. Because if you don’t, you’re never going to understand.’

‘To be blunt, Stella, I don’t think I’ll ever understand, but okay,’ I sighed. ‘I’ll try. As long as you can swear to me that I, or my mother, or you, or some goddamned relative of mine gets into the story!’

‘I can swear that, yes,’ she said. I saw her draw a handkerchief out of her purse – the kind that the Queen of England always carried – and that her hand shook a little. I immediately felt sorry for her. She was old, after all.

‘Listen, I’m going to change out of these ridiculous pants, and come back in some comfy ones, okay?’ I said.

‘Okay. You like hot chocolate?’ she asked me.

‘Yeah, Ma – my sort-of mom – used to make it for me before bed.’

‘Well, I make the best darned hot chocolate in the whole of Brooklyn. If you have the ingredients, I’m going to make us both a mug of it.’

‘I do. Great, fine.’

Ten minutes later, we were both sitting back in the living room, nursing what even I had to admit was a pretty good hot chocolate. I was still trying to feed the anger in my belly, but somehow it had all dissipated, which was kind of weird because normally I was good at holding grudges – too good.

‘Okay, so you remember that last time I told you Cecily had just lost her baby?’

‘I do, yes. Does the story get a little more relevant to me in this bit?’

‘Electra, I swear, this is the part of the story that you’ll hardly believe...’