Page 110 of The Sun Sister

‘Your relationship with your sisters is something else we can work through if you want to?’

I nodded, blowing my nose hard. ‘Yeah, why not? We’re covering all bases, aren’t we?’

‘I’d also like you to think about whether you feel there is a connection between the relationship you had with your sisters, and how you gravitated towards an already established group of girls when you went to boarding school. You could have singled out a girl who might have made you a best friend, but perhaps you were used to being in a pack?’

‘Hey, I never thought of it like that before, but yeah, you could be right.’

‘And that the natural relationship you’d had with your siblings all through your childhood made your expectations of the new group you were joining unrealistic.’

‘You mean I expected them to love me and accept me because my sisters did? That I was blind to who they really were?’

‘Perhaps. Well now, think that one through, and that is enough for today,’ said Fi, looking at the clock. I saw that, amazingly, we were three minutes over. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, but Electra, you’re making amazing progress.’ Fi stood up with me, then held out her arms to give me a hug. ‘Seriously, I’m proud of you.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, and hurried out before I burst into tears all over again.

‘I’m going to miss you so much, Electra,’ Lizzie said as we drove out of The Ranch on Saturday (the first time I had done so since I’d arrived nearly four weeks ago).

‘Hey, we’ve only just passed the gate and we have a whole day together, remember?’ I said, feeling dazed as we hit the open desert road.

‘Yes, and I must enjoy it,’ Lizzie agreed. ‘I feel like we’re those two women in that film – what was it called?Thelma and Louise. That was it! Have you ever seen it?’

‘Maybe. Wasn’t it about two women who stole things and then drove their car over a cliff?’

‘That’s the one, yes,’ Lizzie giggled. ‘Don’t worry, I hope our little adventure won’t come to that, although it did feel like you were making the great escape.’

‘It’s crazy, having to check out for the day so I won’t sue them if I fall off a horse!’ I laughed.

‘But you will go back, won’t you?’

‘Yeah, course I will, I’m not quite finished there yet, but I’m getting real close.’

‘Hopefully you’ll know when you’re ready, unlike me, who had to be kicked out. These places can get addictive, you know, especially to addicts.’

‘It’s not just being at The Ranch for me; it’sthis!’ I said as I opened my arms wide, embracing my surroundings. ‘I feel so free!’

‘So do I! Woo hoo! Let’s ride!’ Lizzie put her foot down and the powerful open-topped Mercedes sped us through the incredible Arizona landscape. The air shimmered with heat and tall cacti sat jaggedly in the orange earth, their arms reaching up to the blue sky. Brilliant golden flowers ran riot through the rough green bushes that gripped the desert sand, and I could see the odd rabbit scurrying to safety as our car approached. I’d previously pictured deserts as empty landscapes, but this was teeming with life and colour.

‘It’s always reminded me of Africa – the red dust and the wide-open spaces,’ said Lizzie. ‘Have you ever been there?’

‘No.’

As Lizzie drove, I thought again about Stella and the story she had started to tell me about the woman called Cecily who had fled to Kenya when her fiancé had dumped her. I had no idea how her story was related to mine, but I had to presume that it was. That probably meant that Africa was where I had come from. Which was maybe why, if Lizzie said Arizona was like Africa, I liked it here too.

‘Electra? Which way?’

‘Sorry, I zoned out there for a while.’ I looked down at the little map Hank had drawn for me. ‘Keep heading for Tucson and then we hang a right at the signpost for the mountain park.’

A few minutes later, the sign appeared in front of us and we turned off the main highway, heading for the mountains. Eventually, we saw a small sign for the Hacienda Orchídea and bumped down a narrow dusty track, which looked as though it was leading nowhere.

‘Goodness, this really isn’t the right vehicle to be in,’ joked Lizzie as the low-slung car scraped through the potholes. ‘Are you sure this is the right way?’

‘Yes, look.’ I pointed between a couple of huge cacti at a horse grazing in a fenced-off field. A little further along, a low-roofed building came into view.

Lizzie pulled up in front of it and we both got out of the Mercedes.

‘I hope the horses are fit, because I’m not sure this set of tyres is going to get me back to LA and I might have to ride back home,’ she giggled.

There were no signs telling us where to go, so we walked up the steps onto a wide veranda, shielded from the sun by an oversized roof and filled with huge turquoise planters of oleander. A long rustic wooden table and chairs sat on the deck and as I looked at the desert plain that led up to the mountains, I found myself imagining balmy nights sitting out here, eating in perfect solitude.