Page 264 of The Sun Sister

‘Mariam knows what you went through out there. She’s thought all this through, which was why she couldn’t bring herself to mention it. Why is life so damned complicated?’

‘You tell me, Electra. I mean, I meet a girl that I know is right for me in every way, yet here we are.’

‘Listen, I’m only the messenger and now it’s down to you two to decide what to do. I understand your dilemma, but isn’t love meant to cross boundaries? At the end of the day, she’s just a woman and you’re just a man. Anyway, at least now you know the real reason why she dumped you. And maybe it is just all too complicated, but that’s for you to work out. Right, I better head off. And by the way,’ I said as I stood up, ‘I’m serious about offering you that job as my bodyguard. But obviously, while things are uncertain between you and Mariam, it just wouldn’t be right, would it?’

‘No, but thanks anyway.’

‘Keep in touch, Tommy. I worry about you.’

‘Thanks for the coffee, Electra. And taking the time to care,’ he added as I left him sitting there, hunched over his cup.

As the car drove me back through New York, I glanced out of the window at the people on the sidewalk, thinking that each one of them had their own dramas playing out that none of us passing by would ever know about. The thought comforted me; it was all too easy to believe that everyone else had a perfect existence (and that certainly seemed to be what the media spewed out every day – I only needed to think of all the endless pictures of me getting in and out of limos dressed to the nines, on my way to some celebrity party) when the reality was just sooo different.

Well, I thought, I’d done my best to play fairy godmother to two of my favourite people, and now I just had to let them work it out between them.

‘Electra?’

‘Hi, Stella,’ I said into my cell as I was getting into bed that evening.

‘I was just calling to check how you are.’

‘I’m okay.’

‘I...I’ve been so concerned about you since you left. What I told you yesterday was enough to traumatise anyone, let alone a person who recently walked out of rehab. I couldn’t bear it if I’d hindered your recovery process in any way.’

‘As a matter of fact, I kind of feel that knowing about my past ispartof my recovery process. Of course it was upsetting, but I didn’t know my mom, so even though I can’t stand the thought of how she died, that makes it easier. Really,’ I added because I could hear the genuine fear and concern in my grandmother’s voice.

‘Your attitude is incredible, Electra, and I’m...’ – Stella’s voice cracked as she gulped – ‘so, so proud of you. I just wanted to tell you that.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, knowing I was in danger of welling up too.

‘Would tomorrow be too soon to come visit you? I have something I want to ask you. I can drop by in the evening, at seven maybe?’

‘Okay, I’ll see you then.’

As I lay in bed, not only did I realise that my cravings for the Goose were definitely lessening, but also that, from the sound of her concern, my grandmother truly cared about me. And I was beginning to like her more too, now that she’d shown her vulnerable side. If I needed a role model, I thought, then I sure had one right there. I’d looked her up earlier on the internet, and it seemed there was no cause she hadn’t spoken out for, no country she hadn’t visited through her current role with Amnesty International. She’d won all sorts of awards and accolades and as I began to feel sleepy, I realised that my modelling days were almost certainly coming to an end. I wanted to do something to make a difference too...

I was just dropping off when my cell phone rang.

‘Electra?’

‘Hi, Miles, everything okay?’ I said sleepily.

‘Shit, did I wake you? I only just got in from work and I wanted to tell you that Vanessa’s good for a visit this weekend.’

‘Fantastic! And how are you?’ I asked.

‘Oh, snowed under with work...I was thinking tonight that maybe it’s time for a change. I’m just not enjoying what I do anymore.

‘That’s weird, ’cos I was just thinking exactly the same thing.’

‘Right, well, it’s about time I cut myself a break. You doing anything tomorrow night?’

‘Nope, apart from getting takeout with Lizzie maybe.’

‘You wanna get some dinner with me instead?’

‘Yeah, sure, why not?’ I said as my heart rate sped up about a hundred thousand notches.