Page 105 of The Sun Sister

‘Well, anyway, I gotta get to breakfast and then the—’

‘Serenity prayer, I know.’

I pushed the door open and walked inside, not turning back to see if he was following me. I just needed to see Fi and talk all this through.

‘So, let me get this straight’ – Fi looked down at her notes – ‘you want to talk about something that happened at your boarding school?’

‘Yup.’

I mean, Isodidn’t, but I knew I had to.

‘And what was it that happened to you, Electra?’

I swallowed hard, and then took some deep breaths, steeling myself to tell her. Because I had never,evertold anyone about this.

‘So...I had just arrived at this new school, and there was a gang of girls who I knew were, like, the popular ones. They were all very pretty and talked about how rich their parents were. I wanted to be friendly, and to, like, belong,’ I said, finding that I was panting nearly as hard as I did at the end of my run.

‘Take your time, Electra, there’s no rush. We can stop whenever you want.’

‘No.’ I was on the runway now, and this plane of shit needed to take off before it crashed and burnt me up. ‘So, I told them about our house – Atlantis – and how it was on a lake and looked like a castle and how Pa called us all his princesses and that we could have everything we wanted – which wasn’t true, because we only ever got presents at Christmas and for birthdays, or sometimes when he came back home from wherever he’d been. And how we went off on our superyacht every year to the south of France and...’ I swallowed again and took a breath. ‘I did everything I could to be like them, with their big houses and their designer clothes and...’

‘Here, have some water.’ Fi handed me a plastic cup that had sat in front of me every time I’d been in this office and I’d never needed to drink. I gulped some down.

‘Anyway, I hung out with them for, like, a few weeks, and my other sisters who were there – that’s Tiggy, Star and CeCe, who were in the years above me – saw me with my group, and were pleased I was settling in so well. And then...’ I took another sip of water. ‘Well, I told this girl – Sylvie, the leader of our gang – that when I was younger, I’d gotten locked in the little toilet that was in the cabin I slept in on board theTitan, my father’s boat. All my other sisters had been up on deck or swimming and I was in this tiny space for what felt like hours, and I’d screamed and screamed but there was nobody there to hear me,’ I gulped. ‘Eventually, a maid came into my cabin and heard me and let me out, but ever since I’ve had a fear of small spaces.’

‘That’s understandable, Electra. So what happened after you’d told your school friend?’

‘Well, it was just before a hockey match, and I was very good at hockey,’ I nodded, the tears starting to gather behind my eyes, ‘and there was this tiny cupboard in the gym where they kept all the sports equipment. Sylvie said she couldn’t find her stick, that someone had stolen it and that maybe I could help her find it. So I went to the cupboard to look for it and the next thing I knew, I’d been pushed inside and someone had locked the door. I was in there for hours – everyone else was out on the hockey pitch and then they had team teas and...Finally, Sylvie came to let me out.’

‘Here, Electra...’ Fi passed me the box of tissues that I’d sworn I’d never use. Tears were coursing down my cheeks now and I grabbed a bunch of them. Once I’d composed myself, I looked up at Fi’s gentle face.

‘How did you feel when you were locked in that cupboard?’

‘Like I was gonna go crazy...I felt like I wanted to die, that I was so scared...I can’t relive it, I just can’t.’

‘Youarereliving it, Electra, and then you’re going to let it go. Because guess what? You got out. And no one is ever going to put you back in there again.’

‘Too right they’re not,’ I said. ‘Ever.’

‘And what did this girl, Sylvie, say to you when she let you out?’

‘That I didn’t belong, that I was a bragger, and that none of them wanted anything more to do with me. And if I snitched, they’d punish me again. So I didn’t. Say anything, that is.’

‘Not even to your sisters?’

‘They’d seen me happy – I’d spent weeks going around with those girls. They would have just thought it was another story I’d made up because I’d fallen out with them.’

‘I don’t know your sisters, but from what you’ve said – about Tiggy in particular – I’m not sure that’s the case.’

‘I’d told lies before, Fi. Lots of them to get me out of trouble at home.’

‘So what did you do?’

‘I ran away. I had my pocket money – that got me into the city – then I called Christian, our driver, and asked him to come and get me.’

‘And what did Ma and your father say to you when you arrived home?’

‘They were confused, of course they were, because up to that point, I’d told them that I was happy at the school. So they made me go back.’