Page 167 of The Sun Sister

‘Not at all. I see it as a bonus; at the very least, he or she will be company for you when I’m away. Cecily, please don’t cry.’ Bill put his knife and fork down as he watched his wife’s eyes fill with tears.

‘Pardon me, I’m just exhausted from doing all this.’

‘And I’m now thoroughly ashamed that I wasn’t here to help you more. Here’ – Bill rooted inside his trouser pocket and produced a white handkerchief – ‘use this.’

Bill’s action immediately took Cecily sailing back to a moment when Julius had done the exact same thing, which then brought further tears to her eyes.

‘Come now, Cecily, you shouldn’t be crying on our first night at Paradise Farm,’ he said gently.

‘No, but...’ She blew her nose and shook her head. ‘Just ignore me, I’m fine now. Tell me where you’ve been in the past few days?’

Later, after Bill had helped her pile the used plates into the sink and they discussed finding a Kikuyu maid to help her around the house, Cecily wandered around her new home, switching off the lights. She stood in the darkened drawing room, looking out of the window at the moonlit plains.

‘Please,’ she whispered, ‘let us both be happy here.’

Throughout a balmy July, Cecily felt the baby kicking inside her, the force of it rippling across her belly. Despite the dramatic effect on her life that the baby had wrought, she found herself becoming more and more excited to meet the child. And to become a mother. At least it would mean she would have some company, someone to whom she belonged and who belonged to her. She had so much love to give and for the first time in her adult life, she felt it could be given freely, without fear.

Kiki had recently telephoned her to ask her to come on a safari. ‘The wildebeest will be crossing the Mara River in their thousands – and the crocs will be waiting just below to get their dinners. It’s quite the spectacle,’ she’d said.

Cecily had gently reminded her that she was now six months pregnant.

‘Oh honey, pregnancy is such a killjoy,’ Kiki had drawled and hung up on the line.

Bill had been making an effort to be home more often, but she still went days without seeing him; he was even busier than normal, spending most of his limited spare time in Nairobi, attending meetings with Joss and various military staff. The rumblings of war in Europe had escalated to a roar that could be heard as far as the Wanjohi Valley, and she secretly fretted about Bill’s previous assertion that he would follow Joss into the Kenya Regiment if war became a reality.

As Cecily spent days alone, cleaning an already clean house, knitting matinee jackets, booties and little hats for the new arrival, she’d attempted to come to terms with the fact that Bill regarded her as a companion rather than a wife or lover. Since they’d moved into Paradise Farm, Bill had been sleeping in one of the guest rooms, rather than beside her in the master bedroom. Cecily had tried to comfort herself that this arrangement was to do with her pregnancy and that he was merely being gallant, but she never managed to fully convince herself.

We’re just two acquaintances who share a house,she thought one night as she put out the light and crawled into her bed.

After all, he had never tried to kiss any other part of her except her hand, aside from the brief brushes of his lips against hers at their engagement and on their wedding day. Cecily had grown used to pushing down the very human desire to be touched, telling herself she should be grateful as they got along very well indeed. She rarely ran out of things to say, or questions to ask him. He was knowledgeable on a whole host of different topics, especially when it came to her new homeland, and the war...

‘My parents so want to come out and visit us after the baby is born,’ Cecily sighed one night over supper.

‘Well, they shouldn’t hold their breath, and nor should you. British intelligence says that the Germans have been cosying up to the Ruskis – that’s Russians to you, Cecily. There’s something going on there, mark my words. They’re probably deciding how they’ll carve up the rest of Europe between them.’

‘When do you think it’s all going to start happening for real?’ she asked.

‘Who knows?’ he sighed. ‘All the governments in Europe are doing their best to prevent it, but there’s already been a noticeable build-up of troops along the German border with Poland.’

‘I miss my parents so,’ she sighed, then realised she’d never asked Bill about his.

‘Oh, they’re tucked up safe and sound in an English county called Gloucestershire. For now, anyway.’

‘But what if there’s war and England is invaded?’

‘Let’s hope it won’t come to that, old girl, but as my father was a colonel in the army last time round, I’m sure there’s nothing he’d like more than to feel important again.’

‘I don’t understand why men seem to love war so much.’

‘The majority of men don’t when it comes to the ghastly reality, but the thought of it certainly brings out one’s inner patriot. I have asked Ma and Pa if they’d like to come out here and stay with us. We’re relatively safe here, although we are beginning to station troops along the Abyssinian border. The trouble is, we have no idea where the blighters will turn their attention next. Seems as though Hitler’s been recruiting his army for years in preparation and the rest of us are having to play catch-up.’

‘You make it sound as though we’ve lost before we’ve even begun!’

‘Do I? I’m sorry to be so negative, but all the military intelligence that’s coming into the HQ in Nairobi indicates that Hitler is almost ready to execute his master plan of world domination.’

‘We could always leave here and go stay with my family in New York?’ Cecily suggested again. ‘Get out while the going is good.’

‘Cecily, you know very well I can’t just jump ship, so to speak. And you are in no condition to fly,’ Bill reminded her. ‘How are you feeling?’