Page 9 of The Substitute

“I could say the same to you,” he says like he’s got one over on me.

“Who said I’m not heading to a party?” But that’s not what I want, because a fucking selfish part of me keeps thinking of the guy I met here, and it gives me another reason to walk this bridge.

“You’re not back here because…”

I whip around and snarl at him. “Fuck off. We are not friends just because we lived together for a decade.”

He smirks. “I’ll follow you and you’ll like it.”

“We aren’t kids anymore.” I don’t know how he gets me so fucking worked up.

“Where are you sleeping?” he demands.

“It doesn’t fucking matter.”

“It matters to Mom.” He only cares about her feelings, and that’s why we don’t get along. “She is convinced you’re in some alley.”

“Dad cut me off, and she didn’t stop it, so as far as I’m concerned it’s none of your fucking business if I am sleeping in an alley.” I go back to my walk, willing him not to follow.

“You know that’s not her fault.” He jogs to catch up with me. “He’s gone tonight. Just come see her so she gets some sleep.”

I stop in my tracks and glance over at him. “I don’t like you, and I hate my father. I’m never stepping foot in that house again.”

“Don’t take your hate for me out on her.”

I almost want to give in to him. I do love his mother. She was the only person who was kind to me in that house, but I need to remember that at the end of the day, she’s still married to the monster that is my father. She’s chosen him every day for the last eleven years. I’m just a fucking side quest or something to ease her damn guilt.

“I’m going to find out where you live. It’s easier if you just tell me now.”

“Why do you care?” It occurs to me that even if he does want his mother happy, we haven’t been friends since we were little. Why care now?

“Because I don’t want you to be fucking stupid and break her heart.” He’s lying, but I don’t know why. “We’ve all suffered at your father’s hand. Every single person in that fucking house. Sodon’t act like you’re the only one, but you are making her suffer more.” His words hurt, but I can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to go back there.

“None of you have to go back. You’re choosing to because you want his money, but hockey’s paying, and the smartest thing I can do is get out from under his thumb. Not my fault if you two choose him.”

“That’s really fucking short-sighted. What are the odds you go pro? Money is always going to matter.” He won’t get it because he’s always had the trust his father left him, so he doesn’t have to kiss my father’s ass.

“I don’t fucking care anymore. He pushed me until I broke, and now I’m free. I’d rather sleep in an alley and never see another dollar of his again than spend one more minute with him.” I start walking again, determined to get away from him.

“Ambrose.” He grabs my shoulder, and I turn, swinging at him. He blocks, but I throw a jab to his ribs. A cheap shot, but he deserves it.

He grunts and sucks in a breath, winded.

“Don’t fucking follow me again, Savage,” I spit.

“You can’t get rid of me so easily.”

FIVE

SAVAGE

It’s been weeks since I saw Ambrose on the bridge and he still hasn’t come home, or even replied to mom. After not showing his face at home once this summer, which made it a fucking delight dealing with his father, mom is a wreck. She’s sinking further into depression worrying about him. I don’t really blame her. She’s been codependent her whole life, and after my father tried to kill her, she only found someone slightly better—if not killing her is the bar.

I kept putting off tracking down Ambrose, because I have no idea where he moved, and between finishing applications for med school, summer training, and my internship at the free clinic in the Bronx, I just didn’t have time. But Mom won’t drop it, so here I am hiking my way uptown on an afternoon I could be studying to see how Ambrose is settling in.

Thankfully, it wasn’t that hard to figure out which dorm he moved into because I really don’t have time to full on stalk my own step-brother.

I walk in with a bunch of guys and make my way to his floor. If he’s not here, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t fucking wait around all day.