Page 183 of The Substitute

“I’m so proud of you,” Savage says against my temple.

“I don’t want to lose you.” My voice cracks. “Either of you.”

“We’re not going anywhere.” Tobi runs his hand along my arm and back up.

“I’m scared you’ll hate me if all of this hockey is for nothing.”

Savage lifts my face to his and wipes the tears from my skin. “We’ll find a way to make it work. It’ll be hard while I’m in med school and my residency, and I’m sure there will be fights and hurt feelings along the way, but we’ll work it out as long as we all promise to be honest with how we’re feeling.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Tobi puts his chin on my shoulder. “If I know anything, it’s that you two are stubborn and don’t know when to give up.”

Savage and I chuckle because he isn’t wrong.

I wrap my arm around Tobi as best as I can and kiss Savage. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He smiles against my lips. “Tobi, come here.”

He scrambles up and somehow ends up lying on both of us.

He cups the back of my neck and kisses me, too. “I love you, Ambrose. Even if you are a hockey player.”

“I love you too.”

Savage grips Tobi’s hair and pulls so their mouths meet. “I love you, baby girl.”

Tobi whimpers and squirms before he can speak. “I love you, too.”

Exhaustion is taking over as we settle back down into the mattress. The love and support of these two protects me as I slip into sleep, more content than I ever thought I could be.

EPILOGUE

SAVAGE

Playoffs are just around the corner, but I can’t focus. Not on hockey, not on school. Not on anything but my the med school acceptances rolling in. My anxiety about the whole thing spiked when I got into my second choice a few days ago, but waiting for word from my top choice has a whole other kind of hell. My second choice is a great school. Most people would kill to go to Boston. But it’s so far away and I don’t want to be a Monster, even if it’s different in grad school.

I just keep going over the scenario where I don’t get into my top choice and I have to leave the city. Leave both of them when we’re just starting. It’s the first time in my career I took Coach Hawke up on his offer to leave practice early. Nothing productive was happening and the last thing I needed was to get in my own head about missing shots.

I walk the few blocks to my place in the cold. The sun is long set and spring hasn’t found the city yet and the wind seeps into my bones, but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t have enough space to process the discomfort. Not with all the anxiety swirling around in my head. I don’t stop at my place, not sure where I’m going, and a bit aimless, but sitting alone sounds like hell.

I’m not even sure how long it’s been when I’m accosted from behind. I turn around, hands coming up. “What the fuck?” I say before I realize who it is.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Ambrose asks, clearly annoyed.

“Walking? What’s your problem?” I step back, dropping my hands. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been much easier since we started hooking up. There was still some jealousy and shit we need to work out, but I’m sure that exists in any relationship, let alone one with more than two people.

“Tobi is fucking worried sick!”

I frown. “Why?”

“Because Rhys told him you left practice early, and you didn’t go there,” he says through his teeth, and it hits me. He was also worried. Enough to be miles away from his campus after practice searching the streets for me.

“I needed some air.”

Ambrose doesn’t say anything for a long while. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just walking.” It’s not that I don’t want to tell him, but it seems irrational. Like I know I shouldn’t be stressed about where I’m moving, and how that will affect our relationship, but I can’t help but feel like if I leave with things so new, I will get left behind in all of this. And that’s not even scratching the surface of my feelings about not getting into where I want. It all feels like too much.

“When do you voluntarily leave practice and walk for two fucking hours?” Ambrose crosses his arms, stepping up to me. He’s almost my size, which just turns me on.