Page 88 of The Substitute

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“It’s how it comes off.” He’s acting like a giant, nicely tattooed wall, blocking me from what I want, but I can’t argue with his points.

“I didn’t think you were serious about him.”

He doesn’t reply.

“So what, then? You won’t make a fucking schedule with me. Do you just want to fight it out?”

“I’m not fighting you. You’re not my competition.” Whether he means it or not, his words are like daggers, reminding me everyone will always think he’s better than me.

“Who is?” I ask, unable to stop myself.

“No one. Making Tobi happy is my aim. That’s it.”

“It’s mine, too.”

“And how are you going to do that?” he says like a challenge.

“Why the fuck do you think I can’t make him happy?” I say through my teeth.

“If you never want to come out, how are you going to make that work?” He leans forward. “Because he deserves more than that.” He hits me right where it hurts, and the worst part is that he’s right.

“I don’t fucking know, but I’m in love with him. This isn’t a game. I want to be with him.” Maybe being honest with Savage will get him to back off.

“I told you it’s not one for me either. I’m not backing off.” Savage sets his jaw. Why the fuck does he have to be so stubborn?

I stare at him for a long moment. “Are you in love with him, too?”

Savage shrugs. “It’s not your fucking business.”

Wow. I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s never cared about someone he was sleeping with. Not like this.

But since he’s willing to be out with Tobi, I’m sure Tobi will pick him, and that breaks me.

I can’t let that happen. I have to make sure things stay good with Tobi. I turn to go but stop myself and look back at him. “Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Sure,” he says, scratching his temple.

“He doesn’t know you’re a hockey player, does he?” I just fucking put it together, but it makes so much sense.

“It’s never come up.” Savage tries to play innocent, but I see the slight widening of his eyes.

“Bullshit. You’ve hidden it from him to fucking win, and that’s fucked up.”

“It’s not a game. I like him, and I’m not going to stop seeing him.”

“Me either.”

THIRTY

SAVAGE

I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop since my conversation with Ambrose, but things are going well. We’re still jockeying for Tobi’s time, but there seems to be some kind of reprieve. It’s gotten almost purposeful, walking in on each other, and every time Tobi and I are together, I expect it. Even when my fucking step-brother is out of town.

“I want to tie you up.”

Tobi picks his head up from where his nose was buried in a book. “Excuse me?” The color of his cheeks tells me he heard me.